


We burn with the brightest flame

by achlyss



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: A.C.E - Grishaverse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, OT5 Relationship, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamorous A.C.E, Wartime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 48,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15010019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achlyss/pseuds/achlyss
Summary: When the war against Grisha breaks out five young men find themselves fighting for survival of their own, but most importantly, of their loved ones.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there.  
> There goes just another story, because I don't have much to do and I have been wanting to write this for a long time.  
> The story was inspired by the idea of Grisha, but I've altered the ways their abilities work in some ways. I'll still be using their names and orders, but that's all.  
> If you get confused by their powers, you can refer to this [thread](https://twitter.com/rgreywaren/status/1002837377428131840).  
> I apologize for all the mistakes in advance. I'm not very good at fixing them.  
> Enjoy reading the first chapter.

 

**Chapter One**

 

“Move back, Jun!” Donghun urged one of his lovers to step back covering their body with his own.

“No, I need to...” The other protested against his hold as Donghun tried to prevent him from rushing forward, eyes fixed on a Grisha, who had fallen down few steps ahead of them. Donghun swiftly moved his arm and snatched the fallen Grisha back to where he and Junhee had sheltered themselves behind a huge cement pole, shadows engulfing her in their arms. 

“Be quick.” Donghun instructed as Junhee leaned down to heal the wounded woman. Junhee checked her heartbeat. It was faint, but she was alive. His trembling hands hovered over her stomach. It took him a minute to properly heal the wound, loud gasp escaping her lips, before she fell back on the ground, numb. “Is she alright?” Donghun glanced down at him as he laid the woman against the wall behind their hiding place. Junhee gave him a nod, pushing himself up to his feet. “Good. Take Kwan with you and move back inside the village. It's not safe for you here.” He instructed when the other came up to him, trying to look over his shoulder. Donghun reached his arm outward and Junhee tried to follow the shadows summond by his lover with his eyes, but they moved too fast for him to keep up, slipping from Donghun to the armed men before them.

“I can’t. I have to stay. What if one of you gets hurt.” Junhee argued as Donghun pushed him behind his back. He let the other shield him from the enraged soldiers trying to push forward against the furious Grisha.

“We won’t. I will make sure.” Donghun promised as the shadows swallowed a Grisha Hunter few meters away from their shelter. “Take him, but don’t go too far. Stay within the safe distance. We don’t know if they have surrounded the entire village. You must remain within Sehyoon’s line of sight.” Donghun instructed as he stepped outside of their hiding place and towards the armed men, screams and wails deafening the once quiet and peaceful village.

“I.. Donghun.. I can’t leave..” Junhee started as he quickly followed after the other, stepping closer to his back and trying to change his mind. Donghun glanced back at him for a brief moment, but it was enough for Junhee to feel the darkness surrounding his lover’s body. _Shadow Summoner._

“You have to.” Donghun growled at him and made it clear for the Healer that there was no point in arguing with him at that moment. Junhee knew he and Byeongkwan would only be a distraction in a fight for them. He could see that they were half concentrated on battling the armed forces and half protecting them. He hated how useless he could be during such critical situations. He couldn’t do anything, but burden them further. “Get Byeongkwan from Sehyoon. I will cover you. Go.” One of Donghun’s hands reached back towards him and Junhee felt the shadows creeping up on where he was standing on the ground. He stepped back instantly before crouching down and trying to find his way to where Sehyoon and Byeongkwan were fighting the armed, furious Grisha Hunters. Sehyoon was engrossed in snapping his fingers as the men fell one by one in front of him, Byeongkwan kept behind him with one hand. The Heartrender must have felt his rapid heartbeat as his head snapped to his direction for a mere second and as if he already knew the reason Junhee was carefully creeping up on them pushed the smaller male sheltered behind his back towards him, startled Byeongkwan yelping as Junhee caught him in his arms and lowered their bodies behind the turned over stall of what once used to be the village’s common market. He felt Donghun's shadows slowly making their ways back to their summoner.

“What’s happening?” Byeongkwan whispered, his bag clutched tightly against his chest. Like Junhee he wasn’t much of help outside of the lab, especially when he didn’t have enough materials for his poisons and explosives.

“They want us to retreat within the safe distance. Must remain within Sehyoon’s line of sight.” Junhee explained, hand clasped tightly on the other’s arm.

“What if..” Byeongkwan started, but Junhee hushed him. They didn't have any more time to waste.

“Donghun won’t listen. Let’s go.” He tugged the other forward, keeping him down on the ground. “Stay alert. I can’t protect us. If you see someone use whatever remaining amount of explosives you have left.” Junhee instructed, hold tightening around his younger lover’s arm, hoping that everything would go according to their plan and all of them would make it unharmed and safe.

 

*******

 

Donghun could no longer feel Junhee’s and Byeongkwan’s presence around the field, which meant that they had retreated to the safe place as he had instructed. He could make out Sehyoon’s crimson robes by the corner of his eye. The Heartrender had seated himself on the ground behind the thick cement pole, peeking out once in every second to put his powers in motion. Even though it was his and Yuchan’s powers that were extremely unique and rare considering that they were the only known users of them, Sehyoon’s abilities never failed to amuse him. It was always interesting to witness how people fell in front of his lover with every step they took closer to his hiding place. After making sure that Sehyoon was safe, he glanced around for Yuchan. The Sun Summoner was nowhere within his line of sight and no matter how hard Donghun tried he couldn’t feel the other’s presence around the field. He felt panic surging in his chest. The longer he would have to spend without the Sun Summoner’s presence the harder it would get to control himself, especially in a situation where he had to use at least half of his power to make sure everyone was safe and the Grisha Hunters were forced back, with the addition of knowing that Yuchan was not completely safe. He stepped closer to where Sehyoon was sheltering himself, but stopped in the mid-way. If his powers got out of control he would put the other in danger.

“Where is Chan?” He shouted, unarming the enemy in front of him with one graceful move of his hand. He felt shadows growing faster and stronger by each second. He was starting to worry and the unfamiliar feeling of panic kept growing stronger inside his chest. 

“I don’t know.” Sehyoon called back. There was a self-satisfied smirk dancing on his lips as he snapped his fingers and a man fell numbly on the ground few steps ahead. Donghun could see that the Heartrender was enjoying himself. _As expected._

“What do you mean you don’t..” Donghun started as he stepped forward. The shadows swallowed two of the men without any traces. The Hunters hesitated for a second, look of terror evident on their faces. Donghun found himself smirking as he slashed his arm in the air and few soldiers in front of him fell down on the ground motionless.

“I can feel his heartbeat.” Sehyoon cut him off, pushing himself up to his legs. “But it’s weak.” He added and Donghun caught the hit of worry in the other's voice. “Enough playing with them. Finish them off.” Sehyoon ordered as he stepped outside of his hiding place, both arms outstretched. Donghun could see the men falling down one by one every time the Heartrender clenched and unclenched his fists by the corner of his eye. Donghun didn’t need to hear more. He took two confident steps closer to the terrified men, unbothered by the weapons in their hands.

He felt his usually controlled and caged darkness slowly creeping up on him, his consciousness slowly slipping out of his enraged body. He only had one thing in mind - Find the Sun Summoner. He knew how dangerous it was to let himself go, to let the shadows completely take over him and overpower his senses, but the idea of his youngest lover being hurt made him unconsiderate of the danger he could possibly present to everyone else.

Donghun hated that feeling, feeling of slowly losing himself to the darkness. He couldn’t control himself and the demage he caused. He couldn’t control who his shadows hurt and attacked. He tried to control them, avoid the other Grisha and mere villagers fighting alongside them, but before he could get a firm grasp of himself his senses left him completely powerless against the darkness.

He felt his arms moving on his own, heard screams and cries and pleas for help. These people wanted to hurt the Grisha, people of his own, but Donghun wouldn’t let them, not until he was alive. He was a Grisha, the most terrifying one of his kind and he would make these men regret they had even considered to hunt them in the first place.

“Donghun!” The voice reached him from the distance. His mind registered it as Sehyoon’s. “Enough Donghun!” Sehyoon ordered and Donghun tried to hold himself back, pull the shadows towards himself, but the raging darkness inside him resisted, pulled him forward to hurt these men, the men who had dared to hurt his own. “Donghun, that’s enough!” He heard Sehyoon’s voice closer. He knew it was enough. He understood he needed to stop and he tried to control himself, hold the shadows back, but it was all in vain until he felt it. The sunlight slowly creeping up on his darkness, getting closer and closer to where he was frozen on his place, brighter by each passing second. He felt his desired presence of the Sun Summoner. It was faint, but it was still there. He felt his senses slowly returning to their usual state, his vision starting to clear by each step the Sun Summoner took closer to him.

“I’m here.” He heard Yuchan whisper beside him, his fingers grasping Donghun’s shadow covered hands. “That's enough, Donghun.” He could feel a bright smile in the other’s voice. Yuchan’s brightness slowly balancing out his darkness. It took him few more minutes to fully recover and register the situation around them. He was standing in the middle of the village's common market, the Grisha Hunters nowhere in sight and completely swallowed by the shadows he had summoned, one of the small buildings gone half-way.

“Chan.” He whispered and felt the other’s warm hand on his face, laid gently against his cheek.

“You did well.” The Sun Summoner told him and Donghun opened his mouth to say something in return, but he caught the sight of blood dripping from the other’s arm, his white and yellow robes revealing a sharp cut against his skin, bloody red in contrast with his clothes.

“You are hurt.” He growled and felt Yuchan flinch by his tone.

“I am fine.” The other assured, withdrawing his hand. Donghun missed his touch as soon as the warmness against his skin disappeared.

“Jun will..” Donghun started but the deafening sound of explosion cut sharply through the sudden quiet surrounding them and rendered him deaf for a mere second.

“Byeongkwan! Jun!” He heard Sehyoon shout few steps away from them, reacting quicker than anyone to the situation. Donghun spun around to look at him, but the Heartrender was already gone from his previous place and running to where Byeongkwan’s and Junhee's heartbeats beckoned him. Donghun and Yuchan broke out into a run by the next second, trailing right after the other. _Byeongkwan and Junhee were in danger._

When they came to a halt the Healer and the Alkemi were nowhere in sight, but Sehyoon was already snapping his fingers at the two Grisha Hunters. Donghun reached his arm out, ready to land his lover some help, but Yuchan’s tight grasp held him back.

“Don’t.” The Sun Summoner warned and Donghun understood why. They couldn’t risk hurting Sehyoon in the process. It took Sehyoon only a few seconds to have the Hunters fall motionless on the ground in front of his feet.

“No! Help!” A distant scream of the familiar voice asking for help caught their attention. It was Junhee. Yuchan was first to dash to the other’s rescue, disappearing inside one of the buildings Junhee's voice had come from.

When Donghun made it inside the building Yuchan was hovering over a Grisha Hunter crouched on the ground in front of him, covering their face with his hands, their weapon thrown to the side. Both, Junhee and Byeongkwan were pressed against the wall by the corner, face pale, Junhee grasping the other’s arms in his hand as if his life depended on it. Donghun knew in some ways it did.

“Hun behind..” Byeongkwan cried out and as Donghun was about to react to the other’s words Sehyoon emerged inside the room and the Hunter standing by the doorway behind Donghun’s back fell motionless on the ground.

“Aren’t you going to kill him?” Sehyoon asked the Sun Summoner as if nothing had happened, gesturing to the Grisha Hunter by the other’s feet. Yuchan shook his head in return. He never killed them. He only used his powers to blind or distract them while the other Grisha did the job. This was also one of the reasons why he hated when Donghun’s powers got out of control and he ended up turning the dead into the Shadow Creatures, because no one could kill them besides the Sun Summoner. It was rare, only had happened twice before, but he still hated doing it. 

Sehyoon slashed his arm against the air and the crying man dropped frozen on the ground, his heart crushed to bits inside his chest.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?” Sehyoon walked up to where Junhee and Byeongkwan were standing, casual and unbothered. Sometimes even Donghun was terrified of the Heartrender.

“We are fine. You came right on time.” Byeongkwan assured as he pried Junhee’s fingers off of his arm, skin red and angry.

“I couldn’t feel either of your heartbeat for two seconds.” Sehyoon said simply, but Donghun could understand how terrified the other must have felt. It was enough to drive any of them mad if they couldn’t feel each other’s presence and he could only imagine how it would feel to not be able to hear the familiar sound of your lover’s heartbeat during the battle.

“You are hurt.” Junhee said as he stepped forward and grasped Yuchan’s arm in his hand, inspecting it closer. Before Yuchan could say anything Junhee’s other hand hovered over his wound and the split skin slowly started to close clean. Yuchan flinched at the feeling, but let the Healer take care of his wound. “Anyone else?” Junhee’s eyes roamed around the other two when he finished with Yuchan's wound, scanning their bodies for any sign of harm. Donghun and Sehyoon shook their heads in return and the Healer gave them a satisfied nod.

“Help the others outside.” Sehyoon gestured to the entrance with his hand and Junhee nodded before proceeding to leave the building, Byeongkwan trailing behind his back. Sehyoon glanced at him and Yuchan for a brief moment. “I’m going to look around and see if any of them are left alive.” He mumbled, referring to the dead Hunters with disgusted expression on his face, before following the other two outside.

Donghun and Yuchan stood in silence for a minute or two, eyes fixed on the entrance where three of their lovers’ had left from. The war had just started, but it was already taking a tool on all of them.

“Stay close to me please.” Donghun whispered after a while, inching closer to the Sun Summoner. Yuchan only smiled at him in return as he slipped his hand in Donghun’s and laced them together. The Shadow Summoner felt the world rearrange itself into a perfect balance once again – the light and the darkness.

 

**Chapter Two**

 

“Are you afraid?” Junhee asked no one in particular when five of them settled down around the fire in the middle of the thick, dark woods. They had left the village with the other Grisha after treating the wounded and helping some common villagers. They had set up a camp in the woods to spend the night before emerging on the travel to the capital with the others once again in the morning.

“For myself?” Donghun turned to glance at the Healer over the loudly burning fire. “I am not. For any of you? I am terrified.” He admitted and felt a familiar, warm hand gently nestling itself against his thigh. He glanced at the Heartrender next to him. Sehyoon was helping him relax. Donghun felt calming sensation slowly taking over his tensed body. He rested his hand over the other's, squeezing it in a grateful manner.“Are you?” The Shadow Summoner returned the question and Junhee hummed in return.

“Just like you. I hate knowing that I can’t help you battle the enemy. I hate to be a burden.” The healer whispered, voice faint and shaking. The other four turned to look at him, both Yuchan’s and Byeongkwan’s arms sneaking around his hunched shoulders and pressing him close to their sides.

“This is what you think you are, a burden?” Sehyoon asked. His voice sounded cold against the heat of fire between them. “I wouldn’t even bother to fight if I didn’t have you.” He started when Junhee said nothing in return and stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. “You know how I was before I met you. Knowing that I have you is enough to make me feel invincible in the battle, makes me want to fight harder than ever, not because I want to protect myself, because I want to protect you, I have to protect all four of you. And you are so valuable, Junhee. Besides being a lover of mine, a lover of ours, you are the most gifted and talented healer among the Grisha I have ever known. I would be long dead, there probably wouldn’t be anything of me left by now, if it wasn’t for you and your powers. Not being able to combat the enemy doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable and play no role in helping us. How many of us would be dead by now if it wasn’t you running after person to person after the fight to heal them? to put us right back again? You have risked your own safety for so many of us, for so many times during the fight, so don’t you dare to belittle yourself.” By the time sehyoon finished his sentence and took a deep breath to calm himself down, his hold on Donghun’s thigh was starting to hurt by the dead grip of the other’s hand, but he remained silent, gazing at Junhee across the fire. The Healer opened his mouth to say something in return only to close it again. He knew what Sehyoon was saying was the truth. He didn't have anything to argue.

“He is right, Jun. I should be the one saying this.” Byeongkwan muttered before grinning up at the others, trying to mask up his disappointment. Sehyoon directed his glare towards him. Donghun wasn't sure if they were trying to anger the Heartrender on purpose.

“The same goes for you. Was it not you who blew up the four Hunters today? I don’t want to hear any of you belittling yourself. I will crush your hearts with my own hands next time one of you say something like that.” Sehyoon growled, turning his face away from the others. He was angry. He despised when any of them talked about themselves in such manner, saying their powers weren’t strong enough, developed enough, useful enough. He hated when they made so little of themselves, when all five of them in fact where the best users of their own powers among the others, most experienced, most powerful, most talented, not considering Donghun and Yuchan who were the only possessors of their abilities. They were all so special and unique in their own ways and they had no reason to belittle themselves. Sehyoon wouldn’t let them. Maybe he was just overreacting, but he had heard enough of it already and he didn’t need his lovers saying the same about themselves.

“Sehyoon is right.” Yuchan chimed in, smile gentle and voice lively, in so much contrast with Sehyoon's. “You both are so valuable as our lovers and as Grisha. It would never be the same without you two, not in the battle and definitely not in life.” He said and everyone felt silent after his cheery voice faded away, lost in their own thoughts, some gazing at the fire, some looking around the small camp full of Grisha around them. They had a long way to go until they would reach the capital. The Grisha needed to form a united army and they needed to join the others to fight and win over the enemy. They had received the command by the Queen herself. They were needed in the capital. All Grisha were asked to gather in the capital as fast as possible. They needed to protect their own kingdom, their own kind and most importantly, their loved ones.

“You should sleep.” Sehyoon’s voice disturbed the quiet after a while, gathering their attention on him. Donghun felt the other’s warm hand slowly slipping away from his. “I will keep the watch.”

“You need to rest.” Byeongkwan argued. “You used a lot strength today. You need to recover.”

“I won’t be able to fall asleep yet. I will wake you up to change me in a few hours.” Sehyoon told him and nodded towards the tent with his head. Byeongkwan opened his mouth to disagree but decided against it. It would be better to let him rest when he was sure he needed it. They couldn’t let him waste his resting time tossing and turning inside the tent.

Junhee was the first one to push himself up to his feet. He was tired. Healing the others took a tool on him. It was nothing to heal one or two person, but it was tiring to heal the entire group of wounded. He gently run his fingers in Sehyoon’s dark hair as a sign of good night before disappearing inside their tent. Yuchan followed him in suit but only after he had left a lingering feeling of his soft lips against Sehyoon’s neck.

“You know what to do if you need anything.” Donghun told him as he slipping his fingers under Sehyoon’s chin and placed a gentle kiss against his lips before disappearing inside the tent like the other two had.

“This time I won’t accept you telling me that you forgot to wake me up again.” Byeongkwan grinned at him, squeezing the Heartrender in his embrace.

“What are you going to do? Blow me up with one of your explosives?” Sehyoon shot him a teasing look before ruffling the other’s hair in a gentle manner.

“I don’t know. Maybe I will this time.” Byeongkwan’s grin widened, playful. He placed a quick peck on Sehyoon’s cheek and run inside the tent, leaving him alone with comfortable silence and lingering feeling of his lovers' touches.

Sehyoon’s gaze trailed from the tent back to the fire, hushed whispers of the other Grisha filling the quiet around him. He tried to concentrate on the heartbeats of his lovers one by one. Donghun’s heartbeat was always steady, no matter what he was feeling, it never changed. Yuchan’s was always beating so fast as if it was struggling to fit inside his chest. Junhee’s heartbeat was faint most of the time, sometimes it took him couple more seconds to find it, to hear it well. And then there was Byeongkwan. He couldn’t exactly describe how the other’s heart worked, each beat felt like a rollercoaster.

Sehyoon changed the subject of his concentration after making sure that all of them were deep asleep. He turned his attention to the trees surrounding their camp, searching for any signs of unfamiliar heartbeat around the place. It was all quiet. The night had brought peacefulness along itself.

 

*******

 

The hours dragged slowly as Sehyoon tried to make sure everything was safe and there was no harm lurking around the camp. He must have been too concentrated on the outside world to not notice a quiet shuffling inside their tent. The sight of disheveled Junhee startled him as the Healer emerged outside of the tent.

“You haven’t changed with Kwan yet.” Junhee mumbled as he sat down next to him on the ground, displeased. “You need to get some rest.”

“I don’t feel like sleeping yet.” Sehyoon wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders and pressed him close to his side, keeping him warm from the sudden exposure to the chilly night despite the burning fire in front of them. “Why are you up?” He asked as Junhee rested his head on Sehyoon's chest.

“Nightmares.” The Healer murmured against the Heartrender's robes. Nightmares were common visitors of his dreamland, but it got worse after the war broke out.

“I didn’t feel it.” Sehyoon admitted as he squeezed the other’s shoulder in comfort. He had never missed it before. He could always feel even the slightest change of Junhee's heartbeat even in his sleep.

“You must have gotten very distracted by the night then.” Junhee told him, soft smile stretching out on his lips. He had wondered so many times how it felt to be able to constantly hear the other people's heartbeats and know every change in them. He could also hear it, but not to the degree Sehyoon did. He had to be physically in touch with the person and fully concentrated on hearing it. He was a healer after all and both he and Sehyoon came from the same order, both their robes crimson and their abilities in contrast. Sehyoon could cause demage, while Junhee could put the others right back. Yuchan and Donghun also came from the same order, both of them possessing the rarest abilities that had ever existed, both of them being the first and only users of their powers, their robes and abilities in contrast, but in perfect balance with each other – the light and the darkness. Byeongkwan was the only who came from completely different order, but it didn’t mean he was left out or less loved by any of them. Because of him not having someone from the same order as the others did gave him an ability to share a bond of the same strength with all of them. He loved and was loved by the others equally.

“Let's go. I will put you back to sleep.” Sehyoon spoke after a while, getting up and pulling Junhee up along. _Sehyoon’s abilities could do wonders._

“But who will..” He started, but the Heartrender hushed him, guiding him towards the tent with gentle hand pressed against his back.

“I think, it's time for Kwan to take charge.” Sehyoon said and a small laugh escaped Junhee’s lips. He pressed his hand against his mouth, trying to stifle the sound.

He felt at ease and he had a suspicion that it was all Sehyoon’s doing. He felt like there was no war happening and they were back to when they used to travel around the country and sleep together at the random places where the night managed to catch up with them, sometimes inside the tents, sometimes under the trees, sometimes under the clear, starry sky looking down on them. He wished they could go back to their peaceful routines soon. He wished the war would be over by the time he woke up in the morning. He hated living in such terror and fear only because he was different. Sometimes he wished he wasn’t born as Grisha, but then he remebered that if he weren’t the one he wouldn’t have met the others, people he had come to call his family. He was thankful to be born like that, that different, that unhuman, that strange.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> First of all, thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They are greatly appreciated.  
> This chapter is a bit messy, but I hope you will still enjoy reading it.  
> I didn't get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them. I'll try to fix them later (can't make any promises).  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Three**

 

 

Sudden increase in beat of a familiar heart startled Sehyoon out of his sleep. He was jolting up in a sitting position before his mind could even register what he was doing. Rough, abrupt activity coming from him caught Donghun and Yuchan, only occupants of their shared tent, by surprise. The Sun Summoner was comfortably seated on the former's lap, giggling to himself.

“Is something wrong?” Donghun asked as concern replaced surprise on his face.

“ _Oh_.” Sehyoon let out a half relieved, half embarrassed laugh. “Chan's heartbeat.” He mumbled sheepishly, gesturing to the youngest Grisha. Yuchan’s already crazily beating heart had increased in beats not because of danger, but because the Shadow Summoner had been kissing him senselessly. Donghun gave him a small, apologetic smile, while Yuchan tried to stifle his giggles. “I thought you were in danger.” Sehyoon muttered, feeling unusually embarrassed. This wasn’t the first time such thing had happened, but the war had made him more aware of the changes in the other four Grisha's heartbeats and emotions.

“I am sorry.” Yuchan crawled over from Donghun’s lap to him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“It's okay. Where are the others?” He glanced around the tent, looking for a sign that could give away Junhee's and Byeongkwan's whereabouts.

“They left early to help out with breakfast.” Donghun explained, blindly reaching for Yuchan, who had latched himself on Sehyoon's arm. The Heartrender understood the reason of the Shadow Summoner's selfisheness and greediness when it came to the youngest Grisha’s attention perfectly. It wasn’t because he loved the others less, it was because he felt safer with younger by his side, making sure to balance out Donghun’s darkness with his light, hold him back if he got too carried away with his powers and the war had made the feeling stronger.

“We were about to head out.” Yuchan told him as he released Sehyoon's arm and let Donghun pull him close to his side. The Heartrender raised a teasing brow at him, causing the younger to blush. “We were.” Yuchan protested, bottom lip jutting out. Sehyoon noticed dust of gold ghosting over his pink-colored cheeks. The Sun Summoner's childish display of protest stirred a hearty laughter out of the other two Grisha.

The morning had started nicely – all warm and peaceful, and Sehyoon couldn’t wish for more.

 

*******

 

They found Junhee and Byeongkwan by the small tables sat up in the middle of the Grisha camp, hairs tied up and sleeves of their robes rolled up to their forearms, completely engrossed in helping the others in preparations for breakfast. They had dozens of Grisha to feed. Junhee was engaged in a furious conversation with one of the elder women, who Sehyoon remembered to be a Durast. He smiled at the sight and walked up to them with the other two trailing behind him, bickering over something Yuchan had said.

Byeongkwan was busy brushing a fallen curl of his blond hair out of his face when Sehyoon sat down on the ground in front of him, lips pursed out in complete concentration. The Alkemi glanced up, looking slightly startled before breaking into a bright smile.

“Good morning. Slept well?” Byeongkwan asked and Sehyoon gave him a nod in return, gaze fixed on the other’s face. He wasn’t sure how it was possible for all of his lovers to be so breathtakingly beautiful, morning glow dancing excitely around them, putting onlookers in daze. Sehyoon had known them for almost six years, some longer than the others, but their different kinds of beauty never failed to leave him breathless. Every morning felt the same for him, falling in love all over again, with their small habits and gentle, heartfelt laughter.

Junhee paused his conversation with the woman before fully directing his attention to them, his significant cat-like smile dancing on his lips. Sehyoon felt his own heart picking up a beat. The Healer’s gaze remained on him for a few seconds, before trailing toward the other two lovers of his behind the Heartrender’s back.

“What happened to your robes?” Junhee pointed a finger at Donghun. He knew exactly what must have happened to the Shadow Summoner's clothes. It wasn't hard to guess. But he enjoyed seeing the older male being flustered by his comments, which was a very rare sight and they all loved to cherish it as long as it lasted. Donghun’s eyes snapped from Junhee to down at his clothes, confusion clear on his face. Sehyoon turned to look up at him. Some parts of Donghun’s dark robes were smeared in shimmering dust of gold he hadn't noticed earlier. _Yuchan must have gotten excited in the morning._

“Chan, I to..” Donghun turned his head to the side in search of the Sun Summoner, but trailed off when he noticed the younger male's absence. Yuchan was being dragged across the camp by the excited Grisha children, wide grin plastered on his face.

He looked brighter than the sun. He was its summoner after all.

 

**Chapter Four**

 

Byeongkwan watched as Donghun slipped beside Sehyoon on the ground, their shoulders grazing one another. Both of their auras felt so alike to him - strong, dark and overpowering. Donghun and Sehyoon were terrifying in their abilities. He scooped up a bite of meat wrap, he had been devoting on, with his fingers and reached forward to the Shadow Summoner’s lips. Donghun gave him a gentle, thankful smile before taking a bite of the wrap, nodding in satisfaction. Byeongkwan gave the remaining of it to Sehyoon, the same warm smile adorning the Heartrender’s lips. They were truly terrifying in their abilities, but not in nature. They were gentle and kind and Byeongkwan loved them for it. When he had first met them he wasn’t sure how such powerful beings could be so kind, so warm, so unbearably lovely. People born with such power usually weren’t and he knew it so well, he had seen it with his own eyes. Most Grisha were terrifyingly strong, but they were harmless unless you provoked them or presented some kind of danger to them or to their kind. He found it truly unfortunate how misunderstood they were. The world had completely different perception of Grisha - prejudiced and unjust, feared them for no reason, wanted to capture them to use their abilities for their own advantages, exact opposite of how Grisha were. They have had many chances throughout the history to conquer others’ lands, exert their control over the others, but they never did. They loved peace and were kind in nature. All they ever wanted was to use their powers for good, but Byeongkwan had come to learn that people never liked or understood different. The prejudice that others held against them was the reason the war broke out, was the reason why so many wars had happened in the history of Grisha. They were feared, hated, but wanted at the same time. Byeongkwan understood the reason. Who wouldn't want to have control over such powerful beings.

Looking at the two terrifyingly powerful Grisha, he called his own, in front of him, Byeongkwan realized just how much they could do with their powers. They could bring ruination to everything and everyone. Only if they wanted to. The Alkemi knew none of them had a desire of doing such a thing. Never once in their six year long relationship had they tried to use their abilities for their advantages. They mostly put them in use to protect themselves and their loved ones. They valued peace and kindness the most in life. Byeongkwan smiled at the sight, gaze unfocused, lost in thought, felt Junhee’s arm brushing against his from time to time. The world was cruel to the different for no reason.

“Back to earth, Kwannie.” Junhee sang song beside him. The Alkemi's gaze slowly focused on the Healer next to him, who was gazing back at him with a loving smile gracing his face, spreading warmness in Byeongkwan's entire being.

“Would do, if you weren’t so distracting.” He muttered quietly, slightly embarrassed. Six years had gone and Byeongkwan still struggled to not blush at the sight of the other four Grisha.

“Oohh..” Donghun let out teasingly, but before he could add anything else, Sehyoon suddenly shot up from the ground and swirled around on his heels, causing all three of them to go rigid on their places.

“Chan!” The Heartrender shouted and as in a clue, they heard a gun shot from the close distance followed after desperate crying of children.

Byeongkwan, Donghun and Junhee were up on their feet instantly, running after the Heartrender. The Sun Summoner was in danger, right in front of their eyes. _So much for protecting one another._

The whole camp was up and running by the time four of them made it on the edge of their camp, kids huddled together, screaming and wailing. Yuchan nowhere in sight.

“Where?!” Sehyoon growled at one of the children, frightening them more than they already were. The child pointed him with a trembling finger and Sehyoon was gone once again.

“Chan?! Chan!” The Heartrender shouted. The other three just a step behind his back. The Hunters couldn’t have managed to get far away in such a short time.

“Sehyoon! No! Sehyoon! No! Help me!” Familiar, terrified voice reached them a second later and Donghun was running ahead of Sehyoon by the time Yuchan’s voice faded.

“Can’t you hear his heartbeat?” Donghun shouted back at the Heartrender, who caught up with him in two long strides, looking around in a frantic manner. Junhee clasped his hand around Byeongkwan's in attempts to slow him down. It was better to fall slightly behind the other two and they both understood why.

“It’s too loud. I can’t distinguish where it’s coming from.” Sehyoon threw back as he turned right. The others trusting his abilities to find their youngest.

Byeongkwan heard foot steps behind them and it was enough to make him snap his head back, terrified of what might be following after them. He felt relief washing over him when his eyes caught the sight of familiar robes. Some of the Grisha had come after them, in case they would need help rescuing the Sun Summoner. Byeongkwan was sure they wouldn’t, looking at how furious both Sehyoon and Donghun were, how Junhee's hold tightened around his wrist. He suddenly felt useless, but Sehyoon’s words rang through his head as soon as the thought came to taunt him and he tried to push it away. He needed to concentrate on finding Yuchan.

“Sehyoon please!” Came Yuchan’s terrified voice again. Byeongkwan heard tears of anguish inside it and found himself running harder, Junhee’s grasp tightening on his arm, but following right after him.

“Why is he not using his powers!” Donghun screamed, desperate. It wasn’t a question. It was just a terrifying realization hitting him. Yuchan could have simply blinded his captors. _What was happening to him._

Sehyoon stopped suddenly and snatched Donghun back by the back of his robes before the other could run past a huge tree before them, holding his free hand up and signaling the others to stop running. Everyone came to a sudden halt, frozen on their spots quietly.

Few meters ahead Yuchan was being dragged by three Grisha Hunters, trapped inside what looked like a huge iron net, thrashing around in vain. The Hunters didn’t seem in hurry at all.

“They are planning something.” Sehyoon thought out loud. “Stay alert!” and warned.

“What is this?” Junhee asked over the Heartrender's shoulder, inching closer to get a better look, eyes blown wide and mouth ajar.

“I don’t know.” Sehyoon reached out his arm. “Free him.” He whispered and both his and Donghun’s powers were set in motion. Before anyone could count to three the men, who were busy dragging the net their youngest was caged in, were lying on the ground umoving. Yuchan thrashed and kicked harder, trying to set himself free.

Donghun was the first to step forward, caution completely forgotten, in hurry, only one thought in mind – get the Sun Summoner out of the net rendering him terrified and powerless, but Yuchan’s desperate wail stopped him.

“No. More.” The younger cried out and Byeongkwan was fast enough to pull Donghun back behind the tree. A loud gunshot later the same iron net, Yuchan was trapped inside, fell where Donghun was just standing a second ago.

“Step back.” Donghun ordered and Sehyoon was the first one to move back, tugging both Byeongkwan and Junhee along himself.

“No. Donghun, it’s dangerous.” Junhee let out a plea, trying to step closer to the Shadow Summoner, but Sehyoon held him back.

“I am not leaving him inside this thing a second longer.” Donghun growled at him, but Junhee continued protesting against the Heartrender's hold on his waist.

“Try amplifying Sehyoon’s powers. You will put Chan and yourself at risk.” Junhee begged and Donghun spun around to face him, incredulous look on his face, as if Junhee had completely lost his mind.

“They still have to be within his sight.” The Shadow Summoner sneered at the Healer, seething and furious. Sehyoon felt Junhee going rigid on his spot. He was sure, the Healer knew that much. He also knew that both of them were being reasonable in some ways, but the war was happening and they didn’t have much choices. Junhee needed to realize that they wouldn’t always be able to play it safe, kindness wouldn't save them, not when they were in war against such heartless beings. “Amplification will only make it possible for him to kill more than one at a time. He would have to run around looking for them. We don’t have time to waste, not when Chan is out there, hurt and terrified.” Donghun turned his back to them and stepped out in the clearing, arms spreaded out.

Sehyoon was quick to drag the Healer and the Alkemi back in the safe distance.

“What is he doing?” One of the Grisha behind them asked, catching Sehyoon’s attention. They had completely forgotten about them.

“You don’t have to worry about him.” Sehyoon dismissed the boy with a brief shake of his hand. “It’s better if you go back. In case something happens. We have this under control.” He instructed. The boy hesitated for a second.

“A.. Are you sure?” He asked, sounding concerned.

“Positive.” Sehyoon answered and the other Grisha were gone in a second.

Byeongkwan turned his attention from their retreating backs to Donghun in front of them. The Shadow Summoner was no longer visible, dark shadows had already managed to surround the entire area around the clearing, expanding sharply and speedily, looking for the subject of their interest - people who had tried to hurt the Sun Summoner, the only light unafraid to play with them. Sehyoon urged two of them back. The shadows weren't coming toward them, which meant Donghun was still in charge of himself, but it was for precaution. In case, he lost control of all the darkness he possessed. Sehyoon didn’t want to imagine what would happen to all of them if such thing were to happen. Donghun could destroy the entire forest, if not the entire country with just one uncontrollable outburst of his powers.

This wasn’t the first time they were seeing the Shadow Summoner display more than half of his abilities, but it felt so captivating, so terrifying every time. _Just how much more Donghun could do with his powers._

Byeongkwan had been wrong. Donghun was terrifying in his nature. It was four of them that balanced out his darkness, it was Yuchan whose light had soothing effects on him. He remembered Sehyoon’s words from yesterday. The Grisha were terrifying in their nature, not all of them, but the ones like Sehyoon and Donghun, powerful and destructive. However, that didn’t mean they were cold blooded and inhumane. The love had touched their hearts and had exposed them to so much beauty and kindness. Their lovers balanced their destructive nature out. They loved each other with everything they had, with their entire beings and knowing that was enough for them to fight with all their might in a battle, desperate for not their own safety, but of their loved ones. Donghun was doing exactly that in the moment, putting his ferocious nature in motion for the safety of his lovers. The Hunters were cruel to Grisha, to the ones like Yuchan, who brought nothing, but light and kindness to the world, who made flowers bloom by the slight touch of his fingertips, who made sun shone brighter and covered everything in golden dust whenever he felt uncontainable happiness inside him, who was made to be cherished and loved, so Donghun would show them how brutal a lover, who was desperate for the safety of his other half could be. Donghun wasn’t kind to people who wanted to hurt others on purpose, he would never be, especially to the ones thinking they could get away with hurting the Sun Summoner - pure, loveable, kind and blossoming human being.

Sehyoon’s grip on Byeongkwan's waist tightened pulling the Alkemi out of his trace. Byeongkwan noticed a slight flinch of Junhee’s shoulders. They couldn’t see anything past the shadows, but defeaning screams and pleas that managed to reach them were enough to give them an idea of what was happening inside. The sound of heartwrenching wails only lasted for a minute or two before everything suddenly fell quiet. It felt eerie. The deadly, unnerving silence continued to linger for few more seconds before a huge, tall tree was snapped into half not so far from where they had sheltered themselves. The three of them watched quietly as the scene unfolded in front of their eyes, frozen on their spots, mind busy looking for some kind of solution. The shadows continued to expand, searching for their prey, full of thirst and hunger.

“You have to do it, Jun.” Sehyoon was the first to find his voice. He released the Healer’s waist from his hold, turning Junhee slightly to face him.

“I.. I am not sure if I can.” Junhee said in a small voice. Byeongkwan noticed slight trembling of his hands.

“I know it's not easy, but Chan is inside. I don’t know why but he can’t use his powers. Donghun had lost control of himself on purpose. You are the only one whose abilities are closer to Chan’s. We don’t have another choice.” Sehyoon tried to reason with him, grasping the other’s shoulders in his hands. “He won’t hurt you on purpose, Jun. He will know it’s you. You have to do it.” He sounded unsure of himself, but this was the only comfort he could give the younger. He couldn't use his abilities to help him relax. He would only make him unable to concentrate.

“I.. I..” Junhee glanced from Sehyoon to the area surrounded by the shadows that looked like a bottomless abyss ready to swallow everyone and everything it came across.

“We can’t lost more time.” Sehyoon sounded urgent. His voice was trembling slightly. The Heartrender was firm most of the time, but he sounded helpless in this moment, clutching onto Junhee’s shoulders in desperation.

“I.. I will do it.” The Healer managed and Sehyoon released him slowly as if he was fighting with himself.

“Hun no!” They heard Yuchan’s terrified cry of plea. “No! No! You are hurting me! Donghun!” The younger sobbed out. It made clear to them that he was in so much pain and before any of them could say anything Junhee was gone from his place and rushing to the shadows.

“Chan is powerless against Donghun’s abilities.” Byeongkwan whispered, realization slowly hitting him. Donghun could not present any harm to the younger because of his powers, but right now Yuchan didn’t have anything to shield himself against the darkness surrounding him.

“I know.” Sehyoon said as he wrapped his arm around Byeongkwan’s shoulders and pressed him close to his side. “Don’t worry. Donghun will know it’s him.” He tried to reassure the younger, but it didn't come out very convincing.

“Can you hear Donghun’s heartbeat?” The Alkemi asked, gaze fixed on Junhee who stepped inside the shadows hesitantly and let himself be swallowed by the darkness.

“No.” Byeongkwan felt the other’s body tensing against him. He was concentrating on finding Donghun’s heartbeat. “I can’t even hear Junhee’s anymore.” Sehyoon tried to sound calm, probably for his sake, but Byeongkwan heard trembling in his voice. The Heartrender was scared, if not terrified.

“I have always wondered how hearing the others’ heartbeats felt.” Byeongkwan confessed, trying to distract himself and Sehyoon as they waited.

“Sometimes it feels so good, so comforting, but there are also times when I just wish I couldn’t hear it.” Sehyoon said in a small voice, eyes fixed on the shadows ahead, focused on nothing in particular. Byeongkwan could understand. He could only imagine how it would feel if he wasn't able to hear the others' heartbeats in a situation like this and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to endure it well. He took Sehyoon’s hand in his and squeezed it tightly in a desperate attempt of giving some comfort to the other.

“We are going to be fine.” He whispered and his words brought out a small smile on the Heartrender’s lips. Sehyoon gave him a slight nod, gaze still fixed on the shadows ahead. Byeongkwan understood him wordlessly. The Heartrender couldn’t promise him anything, but he would try his best to make sure they would be fine.

A loud cry of pain reached outside of the shadows. It was Junhee. Byeongkwan had to hold himself back from running inside. They heard him call Donghun, once, twice, then they heard Yuchan, who was still pleading Donghun to stop. Sehyoon had to force himself to stop hearing Byeongkwan’s heartbeat. He felt sick. He hated standing back, unable to do something to help and comfort his lovers, while they were terrified and worried for each other's well being. He understood how Junhee and Byeongkwan must have felt during the fights. He hadn’t really considered their feelings before. It felt unbearable for him. It must have felt just as unbearable for them. But he knew, they needed to understand that all of them were doing most of what they could do, what was within their abilities. Right now, Sehyoon couldn’t do anything, but wait, hoping that the shadows would clear and he would see three of his lovers, unharmed and alive.

They heard Donghun’s voice. He was calling Junhee, but it sounded distant, faded almost. Byeongkwan couldn’t distinguish the words, but it got louder by each passing minute. They heard Junhee again, then Yuchan, then Junhee and Donghun and a mere second later sheer cry of pain, as if life was being sucked out of someone. It was Donghun. The shadows disappeared before any of them could process what was happening. Junhee was holding Donghun in his arms, crouching on the ground, while Yuchan laid motionless inside the torn iron net.

Both, Byeongkwan and Sehyoon were by their side as fast as their shaking bodies allowed, Byeongkwan rushing to help Junhee with Donghun, while Sehyoon kneeled down next to Yuchan. The younger was covered in cuts, lips blue and face tear-stained. Sehyoon felt sick. _Their sunshine._ He felt the Sun Summoner’s heartbeat. It was faint, so unlike of him, but there. _They would be fine._

“Channie.” He whispered, grasping remnants of the iron net in his fingers. He tore the clasp open and as gently and carefully as he could, pulled the younger out of it. “Channie, can you hear me?” He cradled the boy close to his chest, brushing hair out of his face.

“H.. Hurts.” Yuchan choked out, pained and barely audible. Sehyoon noticed a single golden tear finding its way down on the Sun Summoner’s cheek, leaving faint trail of golden dust behind. Yuchan was in so much pain. He could both see and feel it.

“It will be okay, love. Endure a bit longer please.” Sehyoon pressed his lips on the younger’s forehead, hugging him close. He had never been so close to losing any of them, never this close, never so powerless about it. He wasn't sure and didn't want to know how he would be able to endure it if he were to lose any of them. He would go mad. They were the only family he had. “Jun... Jun...” He cried out for the Healer, but got no answer in return. He turned slightly to look at the other three behind his back.

Donghun was lying on the ground, passed out. Sehyoon could hear his faint heartbeat. Junhee was kneeling beside him, staring down at his frantically trembling hands. He looked pale, too pale, ghostly almost. He must have used most of his strength. They were all worn out and exhausted, both physically and mentally.

“Jun.” He tried again. His voice caught the Healer’s attention this time. Junhee gazed up at him with empty look in his eyes, as if he struggled to comprehend where he was and what he had done. “I need you here.” Sehyoon felt sudden wetness on his cheeks. He was crying. He didn’t remember the last time he had cried. “Please. We need you. He needs you. Please Jun.” The Healer shifted his gaze from Sehyoon to his hands. The Heartrender understood him wordlessly. “I know. I know, Jun. But he’s in so much pain. You have to try, Jun. Please. A bit more please.” He was desperate. They all were.

Sehyoon carefully picked up Yuchan in his arms and brought him to where Junhee was kneeling down on the ground. He gently lowered the youngest Grisha next to Donghun's unmoving body, within the reach of Junhee’s hands.

“Please.” Sehyoon whispered, brushing fallen curls out of the Healer’s face, knuckles gently grazing his pale skin.

Junhee reach out hesitantly, hands still going through frantic tremor and hovered over Yuchan’s face. He touched the Sun Summoner’s tear-stained, bruised cheeks and ever so slowly let his hands ghost over the younger’s body. Yuchan let out a cry of pain before both of them fell still - Yuchan on the ground, Junhee over the younger’s body, numb, exhausted and silent. The Sun Summoner had his eyes open, blinking. He wasn’t in as much pain as before. Junhee had given out whatever little amount of strength he had left in his body to numb the youngest Grisha's pain.

“We can’t stay here much longer, Sehyoon.” Byeongkwan squeezed his shoulder in comfort, pulling him out of his haze. “We have to leave. It’s dangerous.” The younger was right. Sehyoon was sure Donghun had managed to wipe all the Hunters lurking within his reach out of existence, but they had to be cautious. If they had been more careful this whole situation wouldn't have happened in the first place. He tried to pull himself together.

“Get Donghun. I will get Jun and Chan.” Sehyoon told him as he slowly hoisted the youngest Grisha up, lighter than a feather, limbs falling numbly on his sides, pained and beaten. It was hard to keep him up steadily with only one hand, but Sehyoon pressed him as close to his chest as it was physically possible. He couldn’t risk the younger slipping out of his grasp. He reached down for Junhee with his other hand, hooking his arm around the Healer’s shoulders and pulling him up. He pressed the other male on his side, leaned him against his body in attempts to steady him on his strengthless, shaking legs threatening to give out in any second.

“It’s going to be alright.” He whispered to no one in particular, hoping his words would reach the other four and followed after the Alkemi, who had Donghun pressed tightly against his chest and was finding his way through tree roots and bushes back to the Grisha camp. “It’s going to be alright.” It was a promise and the Heartrender never made promises he couldn't keep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> Few things to note before reading this chapter: 1. Tailors have the ability to change a person's appearance; 2. Squallers can manipulate the wind by raising or lowering air pressure, move objects using it and etc.; 3. Durasts can manipulate glass, steel, wood, stone or anything solid. I didn't see any fit to explain their abilities in this chapter, but you might want to know as they are mentioned quite a few times.  
> I didn't have anyone particular in mind while naming the original characters, so imagine them however you like. Besides Minjae maybe. We'll probably see more of him in the next chapters, but I can't be too sure. And, I probably don't need to say who the Queen is for you to know, right? There could be only one person. We will meet her in the upcoming chapters.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. I appreciate each of them.  
> I tried to fix mistakes, but got distracted by A.C.E, so I apologize for them.  
> Enjoy reading this chapter.

 

**Chapter Five**

 

When they finally made back to the Grisha camp everything was drowning in chaos – shouting of men and women, crying of terrified children deafening the entire forest, peacefulness of the previous night completely gone. Sehyoon urged Byeongkwan to stop for a minute, hiding behind one of the huge trees surrounding a small clearing they had sat up the camp to make sure it was safe to enter the area. He took the sight in, noticed bodies in unfamiliar clothing on the ground. The Hunters had come to the camp. The Grisha were busy trying to put everything back to normal, as normal as it was possible - some putting fire out, some tending to the wounded, some counting and collecting children, trying to soothe them. Sehyoon felt his hold tighten around Junhee and Yuchan.

“It’s safe. Let’s go.” He told the Alkemi, who had Donghun cradled in his arms, whispering something Sehyoon couldn’t fully comprehend to him from time to time.

Both of them stepped out of their shelter and emerged on the small trail, clear of tree roots and bushes. The sight of familiar robes immediately attracted the attention of the other Grisha.

“They are back!” Sehyoon heard the Durast woman Junhee had been having a conversation in the morning call out to the others before hurrying to them.

“I’ll help you.” She offered, reaching for Yuchan pressed against his chest. The Heartrender slightly loosened his hold around the younger’s body, but before she could take him away from Sehyoon's grasp the Sun Summoner started to flail his arms around in protest, pressing himself closer to Sehyoon, his weak, trembling fingers grasping the Heartrender’s robes. Sehyoon held him tighter in silent answer, afraid of accidently dropping him and pressed his lips on the younger Grisha’s cheek.

“It’s okay. I won't let go of you. You’re safe.” He tried to reassure the Sun Summoner and felt him go numb in his hold once again, head resting against Sehyoon’s chest heavily. “I will carry them.” He turned to the Durast. “I.. I need a healer. Two of them.” Sehyoon told her and continued walking after Byeongkwan to their tent.

“I will get them to you as soon as possible.” She gave him a kind, undersanding smile before leaving his side as hurriedly as she had come.

“Do you need some help?” Someone behind him asked and Sehyoon glanced at the person over his shoulder. It was the same boy he had sent back to the camp earlier. The boy moved around to face him, gesturing at the two men in his arms. Sehyoon shook his head in return. He could already see their tent. The boy nodded and followed after them silently, falling slightly behind.

Byeongkwan was the first to disappeared inside the tent with Donghun. He returned a second later, carefully taking Junhee out of Sehyoon’s hold and leading him inside with slow, gentle steps. Sehyoon adjusted Yuchan in both of his arms before ducking down and carrying him inside. He laid the younger next to Junhee on the ground. The Healer had gone completely cold, usually faint heartbeat harder to feel. Donghun had sucked out every bit of strength he could find in the other's body. Sehyoon tried to get up, but the Sun Summoner protested against the idea again as he clung onto him, Sehyoon’s robes clutched tightly in his fingers. Sehyoon rested his palm against the younger’s cheek, trying to soothe him.

“I’m not leaving you, love. You’re safe with us now.” He promised before pressing a delicate kiss on Yuchan’s pale lips. The Sun Summoner felt silent, gazing up at him quietly.

Sehyoon glanced up at Byeongkwan briefly. The Alkemi was rolling up the entrance of their tent, letting late morning air and sunlight inside.

Faint sunlight that reached inside the tent immediately yearned to play with Yuchan, shining down on him, caressing his bruised skin, dust of gold sparkling in his fading sunset hair he had asked the first Tailor they had met after leaving the town to color for him weeks ago. The sight brought out a small smile on Sehyoon's face, felt his heart wrench in pain. No human being – no Grisha - deserved such treatment, but Sehyoon had come to learn at a very young age that the world could be cruel to anyone, especially to the ones who carried nothing but light and kindness in their hearts. He brushed fallen curls out of Yuchan’s face, fingers gently caressing younger’s pale cheeks. Sehyoon remembered the promises he had made. He had made his very first promise to Junhee on the day the Healer had found him, second promise when he and Junhee had come across Donghun and Yuchan, third promise on the day Junhee had brought Byeongkwan with him and had become part of their small family since then - Sehyoon would protect them even if it cost him his own life. He had been struggling to keep his promises since the war had broken out and the realization of it hit him all at once when a small, broken smile slowly made itself visible on Yuchan’s bruised face, gazing up at him with tired eyes, familiar, comforting sparkling inside them gone.

“I will do better.” Sehyoon whispered, loosening Yuchan’s grasp around his robe and lacing their fingers together. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” He promised and he would keep this promise no matter how hard he struggled, how difficult it got. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt them. They had kept him safe for so long and it was his turn to keep them out of harm’s way.

“You don’t have to do better.” Sehyoon heard beside him. He turned his face slightly to look at Byeongkwan who had kneeled down next to him, pressing his shoulder against Sehyoon’s in comfort and rubbing Yuchan’s knee soothingly with his hand. “You are already doing most of what you can. We all are. You said it yourself yesterday.” Byeongkwan look up to gaze at him, eyes lit by the fire flames inside them. The Alkemi reached up and run his fingers in Sehyoon’s hair, combing it back gently. “Protect us, but let us protect you. Have our backs, but let us have yours, fight for us, but let us fight for you. This doesn’t go in one way, Sehyoon. This doesn't have to go in one way. If you aren’t safe, our own safety means nothing. If you aren’t with us, nothing, none of us, will ever be the same.” Byeongkwan’s fingers lingered on his hair before the Alkemi gathered Yuchan’s and Sehyoon’s intertwined hands in his own and pressed them together. “Our love doesn’t go in one way, it goes in five and when one is gone so are the others.”

 _When one is gone so are the others._ Junhee had once said those words to them, back when their first days together as five was just starting and it had become a source of courage to all five of them. They held his words in the most fragile, dearest parts of their hearts as a silent reminder of how much they meant for each other, how hard they had to protect each other, how much they loved each other. Without Sehyoon they wouldn’t be the same, without them Sehyoon would have been long gone. It had been risking his own safety for the others’ all along and Byeongkwan’s words, the situation they were in – three of his lovers injured, in pain, harmed, made him realize that it didn’t have to be that way at all, maybe he had been doing this wrong all along, maybe if he truly wanted to protect them, all of them, it didn’t have to be Sehyoon’s safety for the others’, it had to be five of them for one another. Safety meant nothing when one of them was hurt, missing, gone, because when one was hurt so were the others, when one was missing, so were their hearts, when one was gone so were the others.

Sehyoon looked at Donghun, then Junhee, then Byeongkwan before his eyes found Yuchan’s. When their gazes met the younger smiled, despite all the pain he had to endure, sunlight dancing around him, wrapping him under its warm glow, healing his bruises and cuts. Sehyoon felt time standing still and wondered how sun felt whenever its summoner smiled – brighter than the sun itself, bringing light to the world, bringing hope to hopeless hearts, carrying all the beauty the universe had to offer in single smile.

Junhee had been right. Byeongkwan was right. If the one was gone, so would be the others. It was five of them against the world and not only him against the world fighting for the safety of his lovers. He didn’t have to do this alone. He wouldn’t be able to do this alone, but five of them would. There was nothing five of them couldn’t do – invincible, powerful, five hearts united into one by love.

 

**Chapter Six**

 

Byeongkwan and Sehyoon watched silently, pushed up in the corner of their tent, as two healers hovered over their lovers, checking for any possible injury or source of pain visible or invisible for the eye. The Heartrender had managed to lull Yuchan in a deep slumber using his abilities on the younger when the healers had delayed their arrival, and he had somehow, in his sleep, managed to clutch Junhee’s pale fingers in his.

“Boys.” The Durast woman, they had come to learn was called Ha’un, called from the entrance of their tent, gathering their attention on her. “Yeongsu wants to talk with one of you if it’s alright.” She informed and waited patiently for their answer. Byeongkwan and Sehyoon looked at each other, communicating wordlessly.

“Stay with them.” Sehyoon freed his hand from Byeongkwan’s hold and had to fight an urge of taking it back. “I will be quick.” The Alkemi gave him a slight nod before returning his gaze to the healers tending their lovers. Sehyoon took one last glance of them before joining the Durast by the entrance.

“They will be fine.” She reassured as they left the tent behind. Sehyoon gave her a small smile in return, nodding his head. _They will be fine._

The camp was no longer in chaos, the bodies of Hunters were gone, fire was out, children were no longer crying. It was quiet and it suddenly felt eerie. Sehyoon hardened his concentration on the outside world, looking for an unfamiliar heartbeat around the camp. There was nothing for him to listen. It was safe. At least, for a little while.

Some of the Grisha had gathered in the middle of the clearing, where they had been supposed to have breakfast together, in peace, while some of them moved around on the edges of their camp. Sehyoon looked around for Yeongsu and found the man engaged in a furious conversation with one of the elder Grisha.

Yeongsu was a Squaller and a head of one of the small villages five of them had come across while on the move to the capital. The man had asked them to join his group of Grisha. It would be safer to go together he had said, and even though five of them had known perfectly that it wouldn’t they had still agreed. They couldn’t leave their own kind behind. It had been safer when it was only five of them, they moved faster, acted faster, did things faster, had less to protect, less to lose, less to think about, but they were in war, a war that was against their own kind and they – as Grisha – were obliged to protect each other.

“Sehyoon, son.” Yeongsu beckoned him closer when he caught a sight of them approaching. They had been on the move with Yeongsu and his group of Grisha for barely two weeks, but they had taken five of them in as if they were their own children. “How are they?” He asked when Sehyoon came to a halt just a step away from them, concern clear on his face.

“They will be fine.” He said and it came out as a reassurance, not for the elder Grisha, but for himself.

“Of course, they will.” Yeongsu patted him on the back as a fatherly gesture of comfort, nodding at his own words. “Have you seen this before?” The Squaller asked, crouching down and grabbing the same iron net Yuchan had been trapped inside with his fingers, pulling it up from the ground to inspect closer.

“Never.” Sehyoon said, bending down beside the other and running his fingers across the net. The sensation hit him right away, as soon as his fingers grazed the iron. It carried some kind of strangeness, some kind of darkness inside its iron-made knots.

“I asked Minjae to look for it and bring it back here.” Yeongsu told him, gesturing to the same boy from before standing few feets away from where they were crouching on the ground. “He said Yuchan couldn’t use his powers because of it.” The man explained. It was clear on his face that he was doubting the boy's words. Sehyoon returned his attention to the net, clenching it tightly in his fist.

“He couldn’t.” He confirmed, pushing himself up. “Did he only find this one?” The Heartrender asked and Yeongsu beckoned Minjae closer.

“Yes. We couldn’t find the second one.” Sehyoon nodded at the boy. He and Byeongkwan had forgotten to look for them, had had no time to look for them, but there had to be the second net, the one that had been aimed for Donghun. Sehyoon inspected the net closer. It was destroyed half-way, as much as the shadows had managed to feed on it. He tried to push the thought of what could have happened to Yuchan if Junhee hadn't stopped Donghun on time away. He didn't need to imagine. He had imagined more than enough today. He turned the net inside out and noticed dust of gold covering some parts of it, a sign that Yuchan had tried to use his powers, a sign that Yuchan had been terrified, a sign that the simple iron net could render them powerless if they were caught inside.

“Are you sure he couldn’t use his powers? Can we assume that it might have happened because he was afraid?” Yeongsu asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. Sehyoon glanced up at the man.

“Yuchan isn’t someone to be easily scared.” He said, fingers coating in golden dust covering the net. “He wasn’t, isn’t afraid of Hunters, he was afraid because he couldn’t use his abilities. If he had had a chance to use his powers, he wouldn’t have shed a single tear.” He had known Yuchan long enough to have learned that much. Tears didn’t come easily to Yuchan, fear couldn’t last longer than a second against Yuchan. Yuchan was made to be full of life and unafraid. He must have felt, must have realized, something so terrifying for him to cry for help, and Sehyoon knew that nothing terrified a Grisha more than inability of using their abilities.

“What are you trying to say, son?” Sehyoon heard slight hint of worry and anxiousness inside the other Grisha’s voice.

“This thing was made to make us unable of using our powers.” His words caused hushed murmurs to break out around them immediately and spread through the entire camp. “I can feel it. There’s something sinister about this net. Something each of us should fear.” He rolled up the net into a small bundle of iron forcibly and tucked it under his arm.

“The queen needs to know.” Yeongsu declared loudly and every Grisha's attention turned on the man, hushed whispers slowly dying down. “If what you are saying is true and if they have more of this, we are all in great danger. Our army is going to be completely powerless against the enemy.”

“If they had more of this, they would have used it on us by now.” Sehyoon forced himself to stop hearing the others’ heartbeats. It was deafening. Yeongsu’s words had a terrifying effect on everyone. “And even if they have more, they won't be able to do anything from a long distance. We will be safe as long as we are alert and careful of our surroundings.” The Heartrender told them and the waves of whispers broke out once again. “Someone still has to inform the capital.”

“It’s dangerous to send someone ahead alone.” Yeongsu interjected immediately.

“I know. You and your people can stay back and continue with your usual route. I will leave with the others as soon as they wake up and will be stable enough to move.” Sehyoon said turning on his heels to go back to his tent. He caught the sight of Minjae wanting to say something, but deciding against it when Yeongsu protested. 

“It could be dangerous, son. We can’t risk sending you ahead. You saw what happened today.” Yeongsu told him, worried. Some of the Grisha around them nodded at the elder’s words.

“Someone has to do it.” Sehyoon turned slightly to look at him, tone firm and colder than he had intended to sound. “I don’t know what these things are and how they work,” He gestured the Grisha to the net under his arm. “But one thing is for sure, there’s a Grisha who can destroy them and the Queen needs to know.” He didn’t name the Grisha. The others' didn’t need to know. All they needed to know was that they were not completely powerless against the machanism enemy had designed against them. They needed hope and Sehyoon was giving it to them, because there was someone so terrifyingly powerful inside his tent, someone who could destroy the iron net with no traces of it left behind.

The only thing they had to worry about was time. If they had enough time to make it to the capital, to inform the Queen, to plan out the right strategy and win the war.

 

**Chapter Seven**

 

Junhee came back to consciousness by the feeling of familiar lips ghosting over his cheek. Strength was slowly starting to return inside his numb body as he struggled to open his eyes for a few times before they finally fluttered open. It was Donghun. The Shadow Summoner smiled down at him when he noticed that Junhee was awake and gazing up at him, mind and body still heavy to function properly. Donghun didn’t say anything and just continued caressing the Healer's face with his fingertips, running them up and down on his cheeks. Junhee let coldness of Donghun’s fingers comfort him. It felt soothing against his numb skin. His body was starting to ache, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t bear. He felt familiar, warm hand grasping his and glanced down on his side. Yuchan was still unconscious, face slightly illuminated by the dim light of fire reaching inside the open entrance of their tent. Younger’s body felt warm against his, his cheeks were dusted in familiar shade of pink and Junhee felt relief washing over his aching body, replacing lingering pain inside his bones. _Donghun was fine. Yuchan was fine._

“Where..” He started, voice coarse and throat dry.

“They are alright. Don’t worry.” Donghun understood him wordlessly. His hand stopped to rest on the side of Junhee’s face. “They will be back in a minute.”

Junhee closed his eyes again and leaned into the other’s touch. _They were fine. All five of them._

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Donghun whispered and Junhee heard so much more than an apology in his voice. Donghun was pained by the thought of having hurt Junhee and Yuchan, worrying Byeongkwan and Sehyoon more than they already were.

“We all did what we had to do.” The Healer reached up with his other hand to the other’s face and let his fingers wander over it. They were still trembling, he still had no power in his arm, but Donghun needed to know that it wasn't his fault. None of this was their fault. “Don’t worry about it please.”

The Shadow Summoner took his hand in his and pressed their palms into one another. “I know, but I hate knowing that I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. You will never hurt any of us on your own will, on purpose. All you did was to protect us.” Junhee gave him an assuring smile before pressing a kiss on the back of Donghun’s hand. “You did well. All five of us.”

“Thank you for coming after me.” Donghun said, faint and low and pressed his lips on Junhee’s. It was brief and simple, but spreaded warmness inside their exhausted bodies.

“I will always come after any of you.” Junhee promised and he knew he would. Donghun was sure he would. The Healer would die and still go after them. They had become a whole part of him and he had become theirs. There wouldn’t be him without them and there wouldn’t be them without him.

_When the one is gone so are the others. A heart can’t function when a part of it is missing._

Donghun kissed him once more. Yuchan turned in his sleep and pressed his warm face against Junhee’s arm. Byeongkwan’s and Sehyoon’s voices reached inside the tent, soft and comforting.

The universe had aligned itself into a perfect balance again.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> There goes a new chapter. I've been feeling very frustrated with my writings lately, so it wasn't easy to write something, but I hope it's better than I think it is.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They're greatly appreciated.  
> I didn't get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them in advance.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Eight**

 

Yuchan was the first to wake up in the morning, pressed tightly between Junhee and Byeongkwan, their arms thrown around him in a protective manner. He lifted his head slightly up to look for the other two of his lovers. Donghun was still asleep on the other side of Junhee, hugging the Healer to his chest, face buried in between his neck and shoulder. The sight was enough to fill Yuchan’s drained body with warmness and delight. He turned to looked for Sehyoon, but the Heartrender wasn’t in the tent. Yuchan carefully freed himself from the Healer’s and the Alkemi’s tight hold and headed to the entrance, impatient to bathe under the sunlight, expose his aching body to the sun, fill his energy and strength to the fullest. He was about to pull the tent open when he heard Sehyoon’s voice from the other side. The Heartrender was talking to someone. He sounded exasperated. Yuchan’s first instinct was to go outside and help the older Grisha settle whatever the matter was, but he decided against it when his hazy mind finally comprehended the dialogue.

“I want to go with you. I can protect myself. I won’t be a burden to you. I just want you to teach me. I’ve heard stories. They all say you’re the strongest Heartrender ever known. I want to learn from you. I will help you protect them. I won’t burden you, I promise.” A familiar voice was pleading. Yuchan recognized it as Minjae’s. He had talked to the boy for a few times before. He sounded desperate, but Yuchan knew Sehyoon wouldn’t agree to his request. What he couldn’t understand was, to where Minjae wanted to go with Sehyoon. Was Sehyoon going somewhere? Alone? Without them? He pushed the upsetting thoughts away and tried to concentrate back on the ongoing dialogue outside.

“We can’t take you. The less the better. You need to understand. I can’t guarantee your safety. We can’t be responsible for you.” He heard Sehyoon say. _We? Where they leaving the camp?_ “I can’t teach you anything. Nothing you have heard of my heroic doings is true. If you want to learn something, stay here and protect your own people. You can only learn from your own experiences.” Oh, but Yuchan knew they were true. He had seen most of them unfold with his own eyes. Sehyoon was the strongest Heartrender the Grisha history had ever known, which also meant he was one of the most feared Grisha even among their own kind. Two of his lovers were - Sehyoon and Donghun. He would have been in the same list as them if it wasn't for his bright and harmless nature.

“I can pro..” Minjae started, but Sehyoon cut him off, tone firm. His decision was final. There was no point in arguing with him.

“You can protect yourself, huh? Good, good, then stay here and protect your own people.” Sehyoon's voice was chilly and Yuchan felt his arms prickling with goosebumps. “We don’t need extra help to make it to the capital, but they need as much of it as they can get. There is no place safe for us anymore. If you want your own heroic story that much stay back and protect them. If you aren’t willing to protect them who will? Why don’t we give up right at this moment? Why fight? We can all just run away and protect ourselves. Why waste our energy on saving and protecting the others.” The older Heartrender sounded furious. Yuchan could hear strain in his voice. He knew how much Sehyoon valued the lives and the safety of other Grisha, even though they had abandoned him once when he had needed their help the most. Sehyoon didn’t hold grudges, not against his own people, no matter how many times they had left him behind in the past. He was faithful to others.

“I didn’t me..” Minjae’s voice sounded so small in comparison with Sehyoon’s.

“I know you didn’t and I know you are afraid. We all are, each of us. Some of us just know how to mask it better, but running away is never a solution. Stay here and protect them. We will meet in the capital again and we will win this war.” Yuchan heard a smile in Sehyoon’s voice, gentle and comforting, complete opposite of how he had sounded seconds ago. They were going to win this war. Yuchan heard a silent promise in the older Heartrender's voice. They would win this war, for their own kind, for each other.

“Channie.” He heard a faint murmur of his name from behind and he turned to look at one of his lovers. Junhee was smiling up at him, sitting up. “Is everything alright?” The Healer asked, reaching out to Yuchan with his arm.

“It is. Don’t worry.” Yuchan reassured him as he gently pulled Junhee up to his feet, coming face to face with the elder. He smiled back at the Healer. Junhee looked pale and tired, yet so beautiful. “Do you feel better?” The Sun Summoner asked, painting Junhee’s face with his fingers, leaving traces of golden dust along his soft features. It contrasted enchantingly with the paleness of Junhee’s face.

“I love you.” Junhee whispered, smiling under his touch. Yuchan's own smile widened at the other's words, heart trembling excitedly inside his chest. The entrance of their tent splitted open and the morning sunlight came rushing inside, wrapping them under its warm glow.

“You’re awake.” Sehyoon said from where he stood, loving smile breaking out on his face. Both, Junhee and Yuchan turned to look at him.

“Come here.” Junhee reached out for the Heartrender with his arm, beckoning him closer and Sehyoon did, embraced both of their waists in his arms and pulled them to his chest.

Sehyoon kissed their faces, soft, tender, his lips ghosting over their skin, it was there and wasn’t. The morning felt magical and Yuchan wondered if he was still asleep, if he could never wake up. He hated the war. It was against everything he was made of. His nature sought happiness, warmness, kindness, light, love, life, while the war brought nothing but ruination to everything and everyone, destroyed villages, families, lives. He hated it, as much as his nature allowed him to hate something. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to spend his life in peace, with the four other Grisha he called his own, his life, be the light for them, bring nothing but happiness in their lives. But they were in war, it was happening no matter how hard he wished for it not to, it was real and he had to fight and he would. He would do anything within his abilities to protect his people, keep the four men he loved safe. He would fight, while bringing the light to everyone even in the times of war, especially in the times of disastrous, merciless war. They needed his light more than they ever had and Yuchan would bring it to them, warm their aching bones with sunlight, let sunshine dance against their skin, comfort their heavy hearts and soothe their restless minds.

He felt familiar pair of arms snaking around his shoulders. He turned his head slightly up to look at Byeongkwan. The Alkemi was smiling back at him, sleep still obvious in his eyes, pressing his chest close to Yuchan’s back, sharing their own different kinds of warmness with each other. He looked back at Sehyoon and found Donghun behind the Heartrender, burying his face in the other’s neck. Donghun’s fingers found their way inside Yuchan's hair, combing it back gently before disappearing around Junhee’s shoulder, pulling all five of them in a tight hug, five hearts united into one.

_They would win this war._

**Chapter Nine**

 

“Do you have everything you might need?” Yeongsu asked as he walked them to the edge of their camp, other Grisha following behind.

“We do. Don’t worry about us and take care of your people.” Donghun told the older man, holding out his hand for a shake. Yeongsu glanced at his outstretched arm before pulling him in a hug, patting him on the back like a father sending off his son.

“Take care of each other. We will meet you in the capital.” The older Grisha promised as he pulled each of them in an embrace one by one, the other Grisha standing behind and sending their silent wishes and prayers to them.

Ha'un gave them her blessings as she thanked them for accompanying her people this far and promised to meet them in the capital. Some of the Grisha children cried as they clung onto Yuchan's robes, not wanting to let the Sun Summoner who used to play with them go, asking repeatedly if he would come back soon, if he would remember them. Yuchan kissed their foreheads before returning to his awaiting lovers, sadness obvious in his sparkling eyes. They bid the others a final goodbye before stepping out of the clearing and emerging on a rough, thorn covered path, bodies brushing against each other as a silent gesture of comfort. They had never been part of a community before. It had always been five of them against the world and they were enough, more than enough, but it felt nice to have someone thinking and worrying about them as one would about their family, accepting them as their own sons.

“Wait! Wait!” Before they could disappear out of the sight of other Grisha, someone called after them, running up to them with hurried strides. “Wait.” It was Minjae. He stopped a feet away from them, face flushed and reached his hand out to Sehyoon. “I will protect them and bring them safely to the capital.” The younger male promised as Sehyoon took his hand in his, nodding.

“Let’s meet in the capital.” Sehyoon told him and the boy broke into a grin.

“And win this war.” Minjae added, confident and sure.

“And win this war.” All five of them chorused back in unison and the Heartrender boy retreated back to the camp, to his own people.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, eyes fixed on the young Grisha. _Win this war. Win this war._  They would win this war for Minjae, with Minjae, for their own kind, for each other.

“Let’s go.” Junhee told them, turning back to the path ahead and all four of them followed after him, silent, thinking, wondering, planning, searching for the ways to win the war.

Donghun reached for Yuchan’s hand, grasping it tightly in his own, a silent promise. Yuchan reached for Byeongkwan’s in front of him and another promised was made. Byeongkwan’s fingers found Sehyoon’s and laced them together, pressing their palms into one another, sealing the promise none of them could afford breaking. Sehyoon reached for Junhee’s hand and the Healer intertwined their fingers together, leading the way to the capital. The war was happening, threatening lives of their people, of their loved ones, but they knew they would be find as long as they had each other, looking out for them, having their backs, making sure they were safe, there was no harm lurking around, clearing rough, thorny path for one another.

 

**Chapter Ten**

 

“I think it’s better if we stay here over the night.” Junhee said as he sat down next to Sehyoon on the ground, leaning against the same tree as the other. The sun had already started to set down, tinting the sky in orange, clouds glowing in the last rays of sunlight.

“It’s too open. We can be easily targeted if enemy is lurking around.” Sehyoon told him, gaze fixed on Donghun, Byeongkwan and Yuchan beside the river, laughing over something, heads bent together closely over the water. They had walked for the entire day without any breaks and had only stopped few minutes ago after coming across to the river to refill their supply of water and wash some dirt off of their skin.

“We can’t keep going day and night, Sehyoon.” Junhee leaned forward to look at the Heartrender. “I know, we have to reach the capital as soon as possible, but we can’t push ourselves too much. We will be useless by the time we arrive there.”

“I know.” Sehyoon directed his attention to him. “I know, you’re right. You also need to fully regain your strength. I’m worried for Donghun. He won’t admit it, but he’s exhausted.” Both of them turned to look at the Shadow Summoner at the same time. Donghun was gazing into the river, mesmerized by Yuchan’s work of covering everything in golden dust. Despite having a content expression and a gentle smile adorning his face, the hunching of his shoulders, the paleness of his skin, the dullness of his eyes were obvious. The Shadow Summoner had been pushing himself too much for their sake. They all had been pushing themselves too much. They were exhausted both physically and mentally.

“Let’s walk in a bit further inside the forest and find someplace small that could be easily overlooked. We can get some rest after.” Junhee suggested and Sehyoon gave him a slight nod in return before pushing himself up from the ground.

“Hey, it’s time to leave. Let’s go.” The Heartrender called out to the other three as he helped Junhee up to his feet, palm placed on his waist for support.

“I thought we were going to stay here.” Yuchan said as he run up to them, hands glittering in golden dust.

“It’s not safe here. We’ll walk for a little while.” Sehyoon told him and tried to dodge out of Yuchan’s grasp, but the younger Grisha cupped his face in his hands before he could slip away, laughing at his reaction like a child that had no care in the world. Sehyoon didn’t say anything in return, falling still and letting the Sun Summoner have his way with him. Yuchan rubbed the elder's cheeks with his palms, smearing golden dust everywhere before pulling away and examining his work with a proud smile on his face.

“You’re like a fairy.” The youngest Grisha grinned, wild and bright. Sehyoon shook his head at him in return, biting back a loving smile, bending down to gather his things.

“Are we leaving?” Byeongkwan asked as he slid beside Yuchan, wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist and pulling him closer.

“Yes. It’s better if we don't stay here much longer.” Junhee explained, following the Heartrender’s actions and gathering his belongings. “Are you tired?” He asked, concerned. He, himself, didn’t feel fully refreshed and was silently wishing for a place to put his head on and sleep for a little while. He still hadn’t manage to fully regain his strength and energy back, unlike Yuchan, whose remaining cuts and bruises had disappeared completely as soon as he had stepped out in the sunlight and the warmness of it had replaced aching of his bones. The younger had taken care of the others' conditions too, but Junhee's body was still asking for some rest. His strength had gone to zero yesterday and he had to restore as much of it as possible for the future. They could never be sure of what might happen. They needed to be fully prepared, in their best conditions, in case something unexpected happened. They were in war. They couldn’t risk being distracted and slackened.

“We’re fine. Don’t worry.” Donghun answered in place of Byeongkwan, coming up behind the two and pulling them against his chest, arms around their shoulders.

“Let’s go then.” Junhee told them as he emerged back on the rough path, leading the way, while the others followed closely behind, their murmurs and whispers filling the quiet evening, distracting Junhee from his worries and troubles.

 

**Chapter Eleven**

 

“We will have to sleep outside.” Byeongkwan said as he sat his backpack on the ground. “Setting up the tent and taking it down in a few hours is going to be too much trouble.”

“We don’t need it.” Donghun put his own backpack beside Byeongkwan’s, plopping down on the ground with a heavy sigh. He was exhausted, almost on the verge of passing out.

“I will start the fire.” Byeongkwan said, digging into his bag and pulling out some chemicals. It was his and Yuchan’s job to take care of the fire.

“You should eat something and sleep.” Sehyoon told Donghun as he reached for the Shadow Summoner’s backpack and proceeded to untangle the older Grisha’s sleeping bag on the ground.

“Sehyoon.” Donghun placed his hand over Sehyoon’s arm, stopping him. The Heartrender looked at him. “I’m fine.” Donghun reassured and sounded convincing, but his face spoke otherwise. His dark, usually intense eyes were dull, lips pale and hands going through tremor from time to time.

“I know.” Sehyoon gave him a gentle, understanding smile before leaning down and pressing his lips against the elder’s. It was simple, just enough to show his love and care. Everything they had shared with each other in the past few weeks had been simple. They didn’t have enough comfort to afford getting distracted by one another.

The fire was already on when Sehyoon pulled away from Donghun and returned his attention to setting up their sleeping bags. Junhee quietly lowered himself on the ground beside Donghun, gathering the Shadow Summoner’s attention from the Heartrender to him.

“Do you need, Chan?” Junhee asked in a small voice, barely keeping his eyes open. He was looking at Donghun with concerned face despite being just as exhausted himself. “We can give you some time alone.”

“No, no. I don’t want to absorb his energy when he had just recovered himself. He doesn’t show it, but I can feel how tired he is. He isn’t made for war. We all know it.” Donghun wrapped his arm around Junhee’s shoulders and pulled him against his chest, burying his face in the Healer’s hair. “Stop worrying about me. It’s time you start worrying about yourself too.”

“I will sleep it off.” Junhee murmured against the elder’s robes, stirring a quiet laughter out of him.

“So will I. Don’t worry.” Donghun reassured, smiling.

“But if you ne..” Junhee started, but Donghun cut him off, tightening his hold around the younger’s shoulders.

“I’m not shy, Jun.” Donghun pressed his lips on the Healer’s hair. “If I need some extra energy from any of you I will ask. Stop worrying. I’m fine.” He said and Junhee felt silent, listening to Donghun's heartbeat, trying to distract his mind. They had grown familiar with Junhee's habit of worrying too much about the others, he forgot about himself and his own well being. But Donghun still couldn't help, but hate how selfless he could be sometimes. This was one of the reasons why they were so perfect for each other, all five of them, they balanced out one another.

“Hey, you two over there.” Sehyoon called for them, standing over the fire, face still covered in golden dust. He looked captivating glowing in the dim light of newly started fire. “Come eat and then I don’t want to see any of you awake.” They just nodded in return, moving closer to the others, seated between Byeongkwan and Yuchan, Sehyoon’s observing, concerned, but warm eyes gazing at them over the fire flames.

They knew, they were all worn out, none of them were fine, but they also believed that they would be, as long as they had each other. It would get better. They would win the war and everything would go back to how it used to be. They would be fine. But first they had to reach the capital and win this war.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> Here we go. I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter. This was supposed to be longer, but I couldn't decide which idea out of two I have I wanted to go with, so I decided to cut it short.  
> Thank you so much for taking your time to read this story and leave kudos and comments behind. I appreciate it a lot.  
> I didn't get to fix mistakes as usual, so I apologize for them.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Twelve**

 

 

The way to the capital was wearing and strenuous. They kept going with barely any breaks, pushing hard against the thron bushes, rough land and enormous tree roots. Two days passed without coming across to any other living being. It was quiet, too quiet for their comfort, silence tended to draw evil out of their hiding, attracted their curiosity, woke them from their slumber. Air felt thick and tense around them, pressing against their skin as if it had only one desire - to crush them. Yuchan’s hearty laughter and lively chatter started to die down slowly, hushed whispers of encouragement and comfort, of pushing themselves a bit harder, a bit longer so they could finally take a break started to grow more frequent, _a bit longer, we will take a break soon, it will be okay,_ palms were placed and pressed against each other’s backs in support more often than usual, in attempts of saving some energy, landing each other some strength. And then quiet finally fell upon everything, on Yuchan, on the high trees surrounding them, the air above stood still, strained.

Something inside Junhee’s chest churned. Something was about to happen, but he didn't have a clue and it scared him. Byeongkwan’s whispers of comfort did nothing to soothe his mind, so he kept going, determined to reach the capital, to not let his worries distract him.

“It will be better.” Byeongkwan would whisper. He knew it would, but he wanted to know when. He could see exhaustion on their faces, pale and drained of energy. Yuchan’s eyes kept twinkling, sunlight playing in his hair, but his smile no longer reached his eyes. It had lost its power of being contagious. A Sun Summoner without its true light.

Junhee wondered how Yuchan felt, trying to be the beam of light in wartime, in the darkest of moments when he felt nothing but dread, wished nothing more than to be somewhere else. But Junhee didn’t have to ask to have his answer, he could see how the youngest Grisha pressed himself closer to Donghun’s side, how the Shadow Summoner kept whispering words of comfort to him. He didn’t have to ask, because he felt the same way, all five of them did, but it was easily noticeable on some of them because of their nature, because light of their aura started to falter faster than others', gloomy clouds passed over them more frequently than they ever had.

The Healer glanced at Sehyoon. He seemed the most composed out of five of them. Junhee would feel calming sensation running through his body whenever his thoughts got too much, when he got lost inside his head, when his usually faint heartbeat started to beat madly against his chest, when he felt like a terrified rabbit hiding from its chaser inside a hurriedly found hole. Sehyoon was pushing himself more than any of them, using his powers for their comfort, silently, head held high, pushing against the nature without faltering.

He couldn’t tell how Donghun felt. The Shadow Summoner looked like he could faint at any given moment, but his aura felt the same as it always had, overpowering, booming and blooming. He wondered if it was feeding off of Yuchan’s, if it was the reason why the younger’s energy had started to decrease, but he remembered Donghun telling him he wouldn't absorb his energy when the Sun Summoner was as exhausted as them and the older didn’t look any better than any of them. It was only his aura, unchanging, terrifying, alert. Donghun was ready to rip anyone who dared to present any threat to them to shreds.

Byeongkwan kept going silently beside him, offering words of comfort and encouragement once in a while when he caught a quiet sigh leaving any of their lips. His intense eyes burned in concentration, but his hands kept trembling. Junhee noticed how they would go through tremor from time to time. His and Donghun's hands did too, as if they had found mind of their own. He took Byeongkwan's hand in his and grasped it tightly, returning the other’s soothing whispers in a silent manner.

For two days nothing happened, nothing changed besides the path ahead. It was only them and their silent gestures of comfort. The world felt silent around them, sleeping the passing days off, saving its energy, quiet, still. On the third day, a late afternoon, they caught a glimpse of village, barely outside of the edge of the forest. Yuchan was the first to notice, pointing it out to them, trying not to show too much excitement.

Junhee felt hopefulness rushing through him at first, quickening his pace, before something inside him snapped, held him back. The feeling, kind of like a promotion, that started to rise inside his chest scared him. Something told him to stay away from the village, take his lovers' hands and run away. He tried to ignore it, pushed it back and followed after Sehyoon and Yuchan who had pushed themselves up front, the Heartrender’s palm resting on the Sun Summoner's back.

They started to walk faster and as they grew near the edge of the forest pleas for help became noticeable, grew closer and finally fell within their hearing distance, all screams and gunshots. Junhee didn’t know what came over him, but he was running before he knew, ready to come to the rescue of whoever was asking for help.

Byeongkwan was fast enough to hold him back before he could run out into the clearing, forcing him down on the ground behind the bushes. Junhee felt blood rushing through his head, he was trembling in anger. The sight in front of him blurred his vision. He felt furious.

“Let me..” He growled, thrashing in the other’s hold. Byeongkwan's arms around him only became firmer in response and he felt still, silent, eyes fixed on nothing in particular ahead.

The village was drowning in chaos and the sight of now familiar despicable robes of Grisha Hunters forced them into quiet hiding.

They watched in silence as the scene unfolded in front of them. The Hunter threw a young boy on the ground, hair gathered in fist, pulling and twisting, laughing as the boy begged for mercy and help.

“Do something.” Junhee gritted through his teeth, twisting in Byeongkwan’s hold to look at the others.

Yuchan was the quickest to react and the Hunter let go of the boy, crying out in sudden anguish, pressing a palm over his eyes. He glanced at Sehyoon, a silent sign that he was not going to kill him. The Heartrender nodded, snapping his fingers against one another and the Hunter fell on the ground, silent and unmoving.

Byeongkwan loosened his hold around Junhee, getting up. Before he could understand what was happening, Junhee was scrambling up to his feet and dashing to the boy, whose face was twisted in horror and confusion.

“Jun, no!” Donghun called and then all four of them were after the Healer.

The boy’s face broke into hopefulness at the sight of Junhee, arms reaching up to him as an instinct, murmuring something quietly. _His own kind._ The Healer cupped the boy’s face in his hands, eyes frantic.

“Are you injured?” Junhee managed, his voice sounded strange, strained, pained.

“N.. No. My momma..” The boy started, crying, hysterical, before trailing off, eyes frozen on something ahead. All five of them snapped their heads back, alert and ready.

Junhee heard it before he saw it – a gunshot, a scream, a wail, a shriek of horror, a body falling on the ground, white-golden robes flailing in front of his eyes. Someone growled beside him and he watched in frozen state of shock, eyes blown wide and heart pounding in his ears, as Sehyoon tore a beating heart out of the Hunter’s chest with his bare hand, crushing it in his fingers, red robes and pale fingers painted in bloody red.

He was snapped back to reality, out of his shock and confusion, by a faint cry of pain and Donghun shaking him, Junhee's shoulders clutched tightly in his hands, pointing at someone beside him, shouting at him in desperation. He looked back and he wished he hadn’t. He wished to never see something like this ever again, something he had feared, all five of them had feared, had come true, in front of their own eyes and because of his recklessness. He had let his emotions get a hold of his clear sight and judgment.

“Channie, baby, oh no...” He was crying, but his mind didn't register when tears had started streaming down on his horror-stricken face. “Oh, baby, no.” There was no blood. Yuchan was lying in a bath of gold, ground under him was gold, his robes were gold, his hair was gold, his skin was gold, tears on his cheek were gold, Junhee’s hands roaming on his body, looking for the wound were gold.

Yuchan choked out, trying to say something and nothing came out, but gold. Yuchan was gold, all the beautiful, precious things in the world and Junhee, as he found the wound and instructed Donghun to hold the younger down, whispering promises to Yuchan that he could fix it, he would fix it, wondered what would happen if Yuchan were to die, would sun bring wrath and disaster upon the cruel world that had brought nothing, but pain to its Summoner? If Yuchan were to die would all the things beautiful die with him? Would happiness disappear with his last, faint breath? And Junhee, as he pressed his palms against Yuchan’s stomach, knew that if Yuchan died all the light in the world would die with him. Their world would shatter.

No one said anything for a few minutes, screams and shouts reaching them from within the village deafening the world around them. Junhee’s hands shook uncontrollably as Yuchan gasped for air and his body went through continuous convulses before falling numb all together, head rested on Byeongkwan’s lap, Donghun clutching his hands in his, kissing Yuchan’s gold stained cheeks.

“He will be fine.” Junhee whispered, wiping his tears away. “He will be fine.” He reassured and he knew Yuchan would, lying under the sun, covered in gold, he looked unreal, ethereal, something holy, something untouchable, something made of beauty and happiness, and light, and love and life, something the cruel, unjust world had tried to ruin, but Junhee wouldn’t, they wouldn’t let the world ruin him, ruin any of them.

He glanced back expecting to see Sehyoon standing behind them, but the Heartrender wasn't there, a heart of the Hunter he had crushed with his bare hand left behind. The boy they had saved was nowhere in sight.

He straightened up, looked around, eyes desperately searching for the familiar red robes, but he couldn’t find them anywhere.

A cloud passed over the sun and the village went silent, as if life had went out of everything. It prickled his skin, his heart churned in agony, telling him something was wrong, something wasn’t right.

“Do.. Donghun.” He whispered, faint, full of horror. He felt sick. _This couldn’t have happened. This couldn’t be happening._ Repeating the words inside his head like a mantra, wishing to speak them in existence.

Donghun’s head snapped up at him, face stained in gold, eyes red and sorrowful. “What?” The Shadow Summoner asked, “Junhee, love, what...” Before falling silent, taking in the absence of the Heartrender beside him, and the sudden, eerie silence.

“Sehyoon... Can you feel him?” His eyes landed on Byeongkwan’s lowered head. The Alkemi was distracted, cradling Yuchan in his arms, whispering something to him. He hadn’t felt it yet.

Donghun got up and shifted his concentration from Yuchan to Sehyoon, eyes fluttering close, Shadows reaching out to feel the Heartrender. There was nothing. No familiar feeling of Sehyoon’s warmness. The village was devoid of him and the Shadows roared and roamed, confused, mad, scared, looking and digging in the smallest of corners. But they couldn’t find him. There was nothing for them to find. He didn’t feel Sehyoon.

Donghun’s eyes snapped open, locking gaze with Junhee’s and the Healer understood him wordlessly, heart bending and twisting, ready to break any moment. Their gazes turned to the two younger Grisha on the ground. Byeongkwan looked up at them.

“W.. Why? What is it?” The Alkemi asked, glancing between the two of them. He laid Yuchan’s head carefully on the ground, getting up, his questioning eyes fixed on their faces. They didn’t have an answer to give him. Byeongkwan turned his head around, mouth open to say something and then he felt it, emptiness, coldness, something familiar missing and he was running, the Heartrender’s name leaving his lips.

Donghun reached out, shadows quick and ready and pulled him back, cradling the Alkemi in his arms, pressing his trembling shoulders against his chest.

Byeongkwan kicked and screamed until he realized his attempts of freeing himself were all in vain and fell numb in Donghun’s arms, tears staining his grief-stricken face.

Yuchan’s eyes fluttered open, his fingers moving so slightly it was almost unnoticeable, as if he was beckoning someone closer to him, and Junhee felt the first drop of rain on his cheek. It was raining and it was gold. Just like everything else Yuchan came across, Yuchan touched, Yuchan held dear, Yuchan loved, Yuchan was. It rained gold over them as they stood still, quiet, shattered under the grieving sky.

They had lost him, a part of their heart, of them, of everything they loved and had.

They had lost their Heartrender.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> I think I've finally made up my mind on which direction out of two I have this story should take. I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. I appreciate it a lot.  
> I didn't get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Thirteen**

 

 

Donghun tried to restrain himself and keep every instinct inside him that demanded him to kill, tear, destroy under control as he held Byeongkwan close to his chest. The Alkemi had stopped crying, but his shoulders kept trembling no matter how hard the older Grisha tightened his arms around them. Donghun himself was shaking, from head to toe, from inside out. His insides burned not from sorrow and grief, but from ferocity. Anger was running through his body like a poison, blinding his sight and playing with destructive darkness confined inside him, wishful to set it free, burning in desire of letting it take over Donghun’s body and mind until the Shadow Summoner turned the whole world into a bottomless abyss, dig every corner of it until he found the Heartrender, until he found the people who had taken him away from them, until he crushed them with his own hands like Sehyoon had crushed the Hunter’s heart. He was furious at everyone and everything. He was furious at the world, at its cruelty and he wanted to hurt it as it had hurt them, crush it as it had crushed them, take everything it held dear away from it as it had taken from them, turn it into an eternal abyss, where only the darkness and standing still silence reigned.

The darkness inside Donghun kept whispering to him quietly, _destroy it, destroy them, destroy it, it had hurt you, destroy it before it hurts one of them again_. Donghun tried to silence it, concentrated on Byeongkwan’s uneven breathing in his arms, on Yuchan lying on the bed inside one of the villagers' house, still in tears, asking for Sehyoon, crying for Sehyoon, begging them to bring him back, on Junhee who tried to soothe the younger, wiped his golden tears away, while trying to hold himself whole, stay strong for them, not let himself shatter completely, once and for all. They needed him and he needed them more than any of them ever had.

But Donghun knew he couldn’t destroy it. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, let the darkness inside him convince him, take over him. If he tried to take out his anger on the world, he could, he would destroy everything beautiful in it, his darkness would swallow all the light inside it, including Yuchan's and he would rather die than hurt Yuchan on his own will. He would rather die than take Yuchan's light, beauty, life out of him. He was stronger than the darkness inside him, the love he carried in his heart for the others, the love he felt from the others was stronger, blooming and growing inside his veins, thriving to turn his darkness into a garden of colorful flowers made of memories, love and life.

The Hunters had taken Sehyoon away from them and Donghun would find them. He would find them even if they tried to hide themselves in caves, under the rocks on the mountains, inside the earth. He would dig them out with his bare hands. He would make them regret ever thinking that they could lay a finger on him, take him away, tear their hearts apart, tear their family apart, tear them apart. Donghun wouldn’t forgive them and he would hurt them as much as they had hurt the Grisha. He wouldn’t forgive the world for its cruelty, but he wouldn’t dare to hurt it, because he loved Yuchan and hurting it would mean hurting Yuchan, hurting it would mean taking Yuchan’s happiness and light away, something he couldn’t let himself do, something he would never think of doing. He wound find the Hunters, and destroy them, wipe them out of the earth until there was no trace of them left and he would bring Sehyoon back, to them, to his home, to where he belong, to where he should have never been taken away from. The Hunters had taken what was his, what was theirs and Donghun would make them pay for it, make them regret ever thinking that they could break the Grisha, conquer their land, break their families apart, enslave them.

Donghun was going to win this war. They would win this war – him, Yuchan, Byeongkwan and Junhee, even if they would have to fight alone and they would bring Sehyoon back, back to his home, back to them, until the void his disappearance had left behind was refilled, until their hearts mended back into whole, five of them united in one.

“What.. What are we going to do?” Byeongkwan was the first to find his voice and enough courage to ask, Donghun’s robes clenched in his fists, voice strained from crying.

“We have to go to the capital.” Junhee turned from Yuchan to look at them, his fingers caressing the younger’s hair. Yuchan was still crying, quietly, grasping Junhee’s robes in his pale, trembling fingers. He had stopped asking for Sehyoon out loud. 

“We can't. We have to find Sehyoon first.” Byeongkwan freed himself from Donghun’s hold, staring at Junhee, eyes lit in anguish and anger, fists clenched on his sides.

“We have to go to the capital.” Junhee repeated, trying to sound firm and composed. “We need to warn the Queen. We will look for Sehyoon after we have ta..”

“Are you hearing yourself, Jun?!” Byeongkwan stepped forward, sneering at the Healer, startling him. Junhee flinched at the other’s tone, but Byeongkwan seemed to not notice the reaction his actions had forced out of him. “Forget the Queen! Forget the capital! We have to find Sehyoon! We have to bring him back! Do you not understand what has happened?! Warn the Queen, huh? What is she gonna do, help us? Don't kid yourself. She is not going to bring Sehyoon back and you.. You..” Byeongkwan trailed off when Donghun placed a hand on his shoulder in a silent warning, _don’t say things you will regret._

“Sehyoon will be fine.” Junhee whispered. It came out as a reassurement even he, himself, seemed to struggle to believe. “He is fine.” He repeated, glancing between the three of his lovers in the room.

“But how long? How can you be..” Byeongkwan started, voice rising once more. Donghun tightened his hold on the other’s shoulder. “Do you not feel it? The emptiness? Lack of him? Do you feel nothing, Junhee?” And then he was crying again, his overpowering posture gone as fast as it had come. Donghun leaned the younger’s back against his chest, cradling him close.

“I.. I do..” Junhee said, head lowered, voice faint and quivering. “Of.. Of course, I.. I do.” The Healer looked up at them, wiping a single tear away with the back of his hand, eyes full of pain. “I feel it. It’s hurting me as much as it’s hurting you, as much as it’s hurting Sehyoon to be taken away from us, as uncertain of our well being as we are of his, but I know that it’s lack of his presence we feel, it’s lack of our presence he feels, and not lack of him, not lack of us. He is alive and this is the only comfort we can have right now, this is the only comfort that can keep us going. Sehyoon is strong and I believe in his ability to protect himself, hold on until we will come to save him, to take him back. He told me that we should to go to the capital no matter what happens and we are going to the capital. We will bring the iron net to the Queen, tell her everything we know and then we will leave to find him. We will find him, Byeongkwan. As for now, we can only hope that he will be alright. I know, it’s not much, but it’s still something, it’s better than nothing.” Junhee pushed himself up from the bed and walked closer to them, brushing his knuckles against Byeongkwan’s cheek. “In our current condition we won’t be able to find him, we will only put ourselves in danger. In this condition, three of us are no use and Donghun is still blinded by his rage, I can feel it, I am too, you are too and Channie is in so much pain. Going to the capital is the best option we have right now and we have to hurry. The faster we reach the capital, the faster we will be able to start looking for him. I promise Byeongkwan that we will find him, we will find him no matter what. He is ours and we will bring him back to where he belongs and we will never let him go ever again. I will never let any of you go ever again.” Junhee said and he sounded firm, determined, eyes lit by the fire.

Donghun remembered the Healer’s words from few days ago, _I will always come after any of you_ , and he believed he would, he believed every word of his. They would go to the capital, warn the Queen and leave to look for Sehyoon. They would move mountains, cross the whole world, burn and hurt, dig through hell and fly through heavens, if it meant finding Sehyoon, if it meant they could bring their Heartrender back.

“Jun is right.” Donghun said and both, the Healer and the Alkemi turned to look at him. “Sehyoon is strong, stronger than anyone we have ever met. We must keep our faith in him. He knows we will go after him, he knows we will come and he will wait, he will hold on until then. I know we are hurting, we are mad from rage, but now is the time we remain faithful of each other.” He slipped away from them, his fingers brushing against their robes and sat himself beside Yuchan on the bed, smiling down at the younger, caressing his gold-covered cheeks. The Sun Summoner had stopped crying. The sun would shine on their sky again.

“We will find him and bring him back.” Donghun told him and Yuchan nodded, leaning into his touch, letting his eyes flutter close and rest. “It’s a promise.”

“It’s a promise.” Yuchan echoed back, sealing their promise. _They would find Sehyoon and bring him back._

The mattress dipped behind him and Donghun felt warmness of a familar body pressing against his back. Junhee rested his head on the Shadow Summoner's shoulder, taking one of Yuchan’s hands in his, thumb rubbing over the younger’s knuckles. Byeongkwan lowered himself on the floor beside the bed and leaned his face against Donghun’s leg.

“What are we going to do with him?” The Alkemi asked and barely heard his own voice. He reached up and laid his palm over Yuchan’s chest. The Sun Summoner’s heart was beating faintly under it, offering hope to the hopeless.

“We are taking him with us.” Donghun told him, running his fingers in the Alkemi’s hair. “We aren’t leaving him behind. We already lost one and we can’t leave another in someone else’s care. It will destroy him and it will destroy us. We will carry him one by one until he feels well enough to walk on his own.” Junhee and Byeongkwan hummed in response. Leaving Yuchan behind meant leaving another part of them behind. It was already unbearable with one missing, and leaving another in uncertainty could destroy them completely. Yuchan would recover quickly. His healing process always took less time than the others. He just needed to bathe himself under the sunlight.

“We will go to the capital, bring this damned thing to the Queen and then we are going to get Sehyoon back.” Donghun said some time later and his voice repeated itself inside the others' heads.

“It’s a promise.” Byeongkwan whispered.

“It’s a promise.” Junhee said.

It was a promise.

Sehyoon never broke his promises and it was time they kept theirs.

They would bring him back, no matter what it took.

He was theirs. He belonged to them. There was no them without him.

 

**Chapter Fourteen**

 

Sehyoon came to consciousness trapped inside the similar iron net Yuchan had once been. He couldn't remember how he had ended up inside it, but it didn’t matter much to him. He was already here and he didn’t have a clue of where his lovers were, how his lovers were, if they were safe, if Yuchan was alright, if the boy he had run after had made it alive, if his lovers had manage to escape from the Hunters inside the village. He tried to kick the net open, but no matter how hard, how many times he pulled and pushed, it closed back on him every time. He grasped the clasp of the net in his fingers and tried to rip it open from inside, but before he could do anything, a Hunter he hadn’t noticed entering pointed a gun on his face.

“Stay still, Grisha.” The man sneered at him, voice full of venom, wicked smirk stretching out on his face.

Sehyoon growled back at him. He felt anger filling him. He wanted to rip the Hunter’s chest open and crush his heart to bits, show him how the emptiness spreading inside his own chest felt, how it felt to have your heart tore apart, but for different reasons, in different ways.

“Don’t try anything funny, Grisha.” The man crouched down beside him, pressing the tip of his gun against his cheek. “You are harmless like a newborn puppy in there and I’ve an order to shoot you at the first sign of threat.”

Sehyoon thrashed inside the net, clenched and unclenched his fists, tried his utmost to concentrate on the Hunter’s heartbeat, but nothing happened. He couldn't hear anything. He was powerless. He fell still on the ground, closed his eyes for a while to arrange his thoughts and clear his sight. _So this was how Yuchan had felt - trapped and helpless._

“Where are the other Grisha from the village?” He asked some time later, blinking up at the man.

“I don’t know. Dead, I hope.” The Hunter laughed on his face and the Heartrender had to force a growl down in his throat, fists clenched tight, knuckles white, trembling in rage. “You vile creatures should be executed with no mercy. You are lucky that chief scientist of ours had given out an order to bring you here alive. But I assure you it won't be for long. No one has survived the experiment they are subjecting you to. Let’s see how long you will go before you lost it. You are going to be put out like a dog that has gone bad on his owner.” The man continued, but Sehyoon wasn’t listening to him anymore.

 _Experiment_. They were experimenting on Grisha. They were planning to experiment on him. _No one has survived before._

He needed to get out and he needed to do it as fast as possible. He needed to find the other Grisha held captive and lead them out in safety. He needed to let the capital know. He couldn’t let them hurt any more of his kind. He wouldn’t let them hurt Grisha anymore. He would stop them until they could reach his lovers, until they could put everyone in danger, until they could experiment on more of them, until they could develop something more vicious than the iron net he was trapped in.

“Come closer, Hunter.” The Heartrender whispered, holding the devilishly grinning man’s gaze and beckoning him closer. _He had to get out of this place._

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.  
> Here is the new chapter. I'm borrowing another term from Leigh Bardugo's wonderful mind - Jurda Parem, which is a drug that modifies powers of Grisha by changing their perception of the world. It's extremely addictive to them and slowly weakens the body of the user. To put it simply, it kind of drives them to insanity. However, I'll be using it in altered ways to fit the storyline.  
> Oh, and a little warning before you move to the chapter: there's a slight, almost unnoticeable implication of past suicide attempt.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They're greatly appreciated.  
> Traditionally, I didn't get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them.  
> I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Fifteen**

 

“Come closer, Hunter.” The Heartrender whispered, holding the devilishly grinning man’s gaze and beckoning him closer. _He had to get out of this place._

“Oh, little Grisha.” The Hunter laughed, leaning back and distancing himself from the net. “I’ve seen enough of your kind and know your tricks very well. Be quiet and don’t try anything funny. They will come for you soon.” The man told him and even though he sounded sure of himself, Sehyoon could see slight glimpse of uneasiness in his eyes, gun pointed at him, ready to shoot at the very first sign of threat.

A self-confident smirk stretched out on Sehyoon’s lips as he turned inside the net to look at the man, who stiffened at the sudden change in the mood of a Grisha.

“Come closer, Hunter.” Sehyoon repeated, gaze locked with the Hunter, eyes lit and beckoned him closer.

“Be still, I warn you.” The man threatened, but Sehyoon saw him falter for the slightest moment. He just had to push harder.

“Just come closer.” He grasped the net in his fingers, pressing himself against it. “Come closer, Hunter, come closer.” He sang song, sweet and intoxicating, calling the enemy closer and a few seconds later it finally broke the man, gun still pointed, stepping closer to the net with hesitant, unsure steps. “Come, come closer.” Sehyoon continued, chanting it sweetly like a spell, enticing smile gracing his red, winey lips and the Hunter did, lowering the gun down slightly, leaning closer to the net.

Sehyoon turned once more, lying on his back on the ground, eyes holding the Hunter’s and wrapping him under the daze, his honeyed voice filling the silent tent. The man put the gun down on the ground, crouching down beside the net, reaching out to touch Sehyoon’s jaw behind it, but before his fingers could come in touch with the Heartrender's iron covered skin the tent split open and the sunlight revealed four shadows hovering over the entrance. They came for him as the Hunter had promised earlier.

The men stepped inside the tent and for a second Sehyoon’s heart trembled inside his chest in desire, hoping for a miracle, for something impossible to happen. But then they came within his sight and Sehyoon’s heart hardened instantly, jaw clenched, body rigid. The Hunter retreated, pulled out of his trace and glared down at him.

The men observed him for a few seconds before turning to the first Hunter and saying something among each other, in a language Sehyoon couldn’t fully understand. It was not his own, it was the language of the enemy. A low, throaty growl left his lips, fingers tightening around the net, trying to pull it apart, tear it open, but all in vain. One of the men laughed at his attempts of freeing himself, bending down and eyeing him closer.

“Fierce one, aren’t you?” The man asked in his language, wicked smirk stretching out on his face. Sehyoon remained silent, deadly gaze trailed on the man, wishing to hear his heartbeat, praying for his gods to help him hear the man’s heartbeat for the smallest second, but they didn’t hear his silent pleas. He had learned in the toughest way possible that they never did. No one would hear his silent prayers. He stopped praying and hissed a curse at the man in his own language, stirring a laugh out of him. “Not for long.” The man said, standing up and gesturing his companions to the net. Sehyoon pushed and pulled, trying to not let them closer, but there was only so much he could do. One of the man held his legs down on the ground, while another forced his head still.

He growled at them, gritted his teeth, thrashed and kicked, but all in vain. Before he could understand what was happening, his sight started to blur, consciousness was slowly slipping away from him, fingers starting to feel numb and then he lost it completely, vision black and body strengthless. He heard voices, but couldn’t comprehend anything.

They were taking him somewhere. 

They were going to experiment on him.

He felt fear creeping inside him, taking over his heart and then slowly, painfully settling down inside his head.

He was afraid.

_Helpless and afraid._

He couldn’t do anything, but let them have their way with him, toy with him like a puppet.

 

**Chapter Sixteen**

 

Sehyoon came back to consciousness inside another tent, all covered in white, iron rods of the net still trapping him and rendering him powerless. He was no longer on the ground, but laid on a hard, wooden bed, figures wearing the same robes that had become to carry the meaning of everything evil to the Grisha moving around him, speaking in a language he couldn’t understand.

He tried to move around, but leather straps on his legs and chest were holding him down. A growl of frustration escaped him and gathered attention of the people inside the tent, turning to him, poised and alert. Hushed whispers started to spread among his captors before a commanding voice said something in a foreign language and everyone felt silent.

“Grisha.” A face appeared above him seconds later, jaw sat tight and eyes blank. Sehyoon felt like he was staring inside a void. “We’re glad to have you here.” The woman told him in a mocking politeness and the entire tent erupted into laughter. Sehyoon’s body was starting to ache in uncontainable, compressed, boiling anger inside him. He wanted to free himself and tear their hearts, wipe their mocking smiles away from their faces, replace it with fear and terror. He resisted against the tight hold around his body, but nothing changed besides the laughter around him growing louder. He fell still. He wouldn’t entertain them with his futile attempts of setting himself free.

“Ever heard of Jurda Parem, Grisha?” The woman asked and Sehyoon forced himself into silence, not giving her the satisfaction of hearing his trembling voice. It was not trembling in fear, but in frustration and anger, in his inability to protect himself, use his powers, hear their heartbeats and crush them to bits inside their chests. He had swore, years ago, that he would rather die than be a puppet of someone else ever again, but he was being handled like one right now, trapped inside the net and tied on the bed, unable to do anything, fear slowly eating him away, mocked and laughed at for being caught, for being helpless, for being nothing, but just another subject the enemy could experiment on.

He hated the feeling and he hated himself. He was stronger than this. He had to be stronger than this. He tried to cling onto the last hope his heart offered. They would come. His lovers. His strength. His power. They would come. Junhee had given him a promise. They all had given a promise to each other before emerging on this journey together. He had to hold on, a while longer, a little longer, and they would come. He believed they would. He knew they would, but when? He had asked Junhee to lead the others to the capital no matter what happened and it was important that the Healer did as he had asked. It was important for the capital to know, especially when such things were happening to the abducted Grisha, when the enemy was doing such cruel things to them. He knew had to hold on, but how? How could he do something when he was so helpless, so vulnerable, so powerless. How could he hold on much longer?

“I’ll take your silence as a no.” The woman said few minutes later, holding something between her fingers and lowering it down to show him. “This is Jurda Parem, Grisha. We are working so hard on its development. None of your little friends had brought any success to us so far, but we have heard such thrilling stories of you.” The woman was grinning down at him, devilish. Sehyoon felt sick. He wanted to reach up and steal air out of her lungs with slight move of his fingers, just by a single wish of it happening. It drove him mad that he couldn’t, teeth grinding together in uncontrollable rage.

_Success._ He would die and take their success with him. He wouldn’t give them a joy of it even if their experiment worked, even if he lost all control of himself. He would die and take it with him. he would die and take them with himself.

“It will be easier if you don’t resist. There is nothing you can do, Grisha.” The woman said and forced his head to the side, her palm pressing down on his cheek.

Sehyoon felt a cold needle come in touch with his burning skin and he let her inject it in his neck. He didn’t resist. He remained still, quiet, heart breaking into pieces. Something inside him protested, screamed and crashed, _fight back, don’t stay still_. But what he could do? There was no pointing in fighting back. He was one and powerless. They were six and powerful.

Few minutes after the Parem was injected Sehyoon’s vision started to blur, his heart rate slowed down. He was starting to drift in and out of consciousness, in between reality and dreams, in between desires and memories, in between regrets and wishes and then it started, like a vision, ever so slowly. He was walking through his memories, reliving them one by one, bit by bit, one followed after the other.

He was standing on a cliff, much younger, red robes tattered and face stained in tears, then he was jumping, feeling as free as ever, arms spreaded out, content smile on his lips, and he was drowning, forcing himself under water, trying to restrain every instinct of survival that awoke inside him and end the pain, once and for all, set himself free forever. And then there was Junhee, smiling down at him, looking relieved, telling him something he couldn't comprehend, seeming like an angel, his face haloed by the sunlight. Sehyoon had thought that after life was beautiful back then, more beautiful than he had imagined, more beautiful than he had ever expected it to be.

Then they were kissing, their very first, innocent kiss. Then they were meeting Donghun and Yuchan, confessions were being whispered and shared, too quiet for the world to hear, but the only sound that had existed in that moment for them, and then there was Byeongkwan trailing after Junhee, shy and timid, introducing himself quietly. The memory passed and confessions were shared again, promises of loving each other, protecting each other until their last breath were made. They were beautiful, and happy and full of love and Sehyoon missed them more than ever, wondered if he would see them ever again, smiling at him, kissing him, holding him, loving him, the heaven he had once so foolishly had mistaken to have found, the after life he would jump from the cliff once more to find.

He wished he could see them one more time, tell them how sorry he was he could not keep his promises, tell them how much he loved them one last time, promise to meet them again in another life, in some other time, there would be no wars, only peace and happiness, they would spend entire days loving each other, spend their entire lives with each other, carefree, happy and in love. Them in their own paradise. He wouldn’t break his promise this time. He would keep his promises in this other life. 

Everything suddenly went white and his heart stopped beating, last breath leaving his parted lips. This was the end he couldn't imagine having, not after meeting the others. This was how he was going to die - alone, afraid, regretful, without knowing if his lovers were safe, if they were alright, without bidding them a final farewell, telling them how much he loved them, them telling him how much they loved him.

It lasted a second, for a Heartrender’s one missing heartbeat - the whiteness, the blankness, the feeling of nothing, emptiness and then as suddenly as it had fallen upon him it cleared and he was jolting upright, tearing the iron net, the leather straps binding him on the bed, keeping him still and powerless, gasping for a breath, fingers twitching, heartbeat frantic. He felt something strange, something uncontainable, something dangerous and frightening inside him, growing stronger and bigger, taking over him. 

Someone screamed and he was setting himself free, tearing the straps around his legs apart and throwing the net aside.

He was furious. Something inside him went mad with hunger, in thirst.

Sehyoon heard himself laugh.

They wanted success, but he would bring them ruination, destroy them with their own experiment.

And he was tearing the place apart.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. I appreciate it a lot.  
> I didn't get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Seventeen**

 

Byeongkwan watched silently as Yuchan stumbled over the tree roots few meters away from where he stood. The Alkemi had unconsciously come to a stop and was observing the Sun Summoner and the Healer ahead of him. Junhee was helping the younger steady himself on the ground. Yuchan had refused every offer to carry him until he was fully recovered from the impact of the gunshot, forcing a bright smile and trying to convince them that he was already feeling well enough to walk on his own, but it wasn't difficult to notice that he wasn’t. They just had to look and they would see it. However, Byeongkwan was sure Yuchan being strengthless and seeming ill wasn’t caused by the wound, the Sun Summoner would have managed to fully heal himself by now, but by the sudden loss of their Heartrender.

He gazed at them and took in how Junhee’s calm and Yuchan’s bright auras faltered, slowly, but obviously fading away. The Healer’s aura was normally faint and it was harder to tell what had changed, but Yuchan's never was, never had been before and it felt heartbreaking, it felt bizarre to see it falter, as if all the bright colors had gone out of life. The scene in front of him felt like he was looking at the old, fading photograph worn out by the time. It was killing them, to exist without Sehyoon was killing all four of them, slowly and painfully, and Byeongkwan wondered how much longer they could carry on until one of them completely broke down, until one of them completely lost it, until the hollow inside their chests finally ate them away. He could see how much they were trying, he knew how much he was trying to hold himself together, concentrate on their mission of reaching the capital, but the pain inside his chest kept growing, the void, the absence, the coldness slowly crept upon him, upon them and fed on their energy, on their fading hopefulness and their will of life. There was so much they could endure, but existing without Sehyoon wasn’t one of them. They needed him. The feeling of incompletion destroyed them slowly, tore them piece by piece, setting different parts of their beings in fire, burning in anguish, in missing of their loved one. They kept burning and Byeongkwan was afraid one of these days one of them would completely burn out.

“Don’t stop.” A familiar low voice behind him said as the hands came to rest above his hips. He felt Donghun’s breath ghosting over the side of his neck.

“I don’t want us to burn out, Donghun.” He whispered and leaned back to rest against the elder’s chest.

“We won’t.” Donghun told him and released him from his hold, walking around to face him. “Endure a bit longer, love.” The Shadow Summoner reached up and laid his palm over the Alkemi's cheek, thumb rubbing over his skin soothingly.

“But look at them…” Byeongkwan said and his voice broke. He felt tears stinging in the corner of his eyes, his lips quivered just by the thought. He felt something heavy pressing down on his chest, full of desire to crush his heart to bits.

Donghun didn’t turn to look at the other two, his sad, exhausted eyes remained on Byeongkwan’s face.

“I know. I noticed it too, but don’t say anything.” Donghun wiped the first tear that fell on Byeongkwan’s cheek away. “Let them grieve. Let yourself grieve. Don’t hold back. Cry until there are no tears left, but don’t give up. Endure a bit longer please. We will find him, Byeongkwan. I promise we will, and I promise that they won’t burn out. We were born to burn, love, not in pain and sadness, but we were meant to burn, for each other, for love, for life. We’re stronger than anything life throws at us, Byeongkwan, because it has tempered us like the steel in the fire, it has tempered us by the blows of its own hammer, and we know we can endure this, for Sehyoon, for each other, for us. They won’t burn out. I’m not going to let any of us burn out. I’ll bring Sehyoon back to us, so just endure a bit longer.” Donghun told him and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Byeongkwan’s lips. There was a small smile on his face when he parted away from him, gazing at him with mix of sorrow and the fire of determination in his eyes.

Byeongkwan opened his mouth to say something in return, comfort the elder as he had comforted him, but before the words could leave his mouth Junhee’s voice caught their attention.

“Is everything alright?” The Healer had his arm snaked around Yuchan’s waist, younger leaning some of his weight on him for support as they gazed at him and Donghun with tired eyes, as if the storm had gone through them and had destroyed everything beautiful, everything bright inside them, leaving nothing but pain and emptiness behind.

“Yes, we’re co..” Donghun turned to look at the Healer and the Sun Summoner, but before he could finish the sentence a loud gunshot cut through the quiet around them and Byeongkwan was dragged down on the ground, Donghun’s body covering his, providing shelter from the danger.

“Jun? Chan?” Donghun called out as he tugged Byeongkwan behind the tree, crouched as near to the ground as possible.

“Fine.” Came Junhee’s voice a second later and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

“There!” An unfamiliar voice of woman reached them from the distance and Byeongkwan felt Donghun’s hold on his shoulder tighten. “Two of them are here!” The voice called again as rustling of the tree branches and bushes got closer.

“Stay here.” Donghun warned him as he released Byeongkwan from his grasp and moved around the tree.

“Wha..” Byeongkwan started to protest but Donghun hushed him, motioning him with his finger to stay still and silent. Byeongkwan nodded and let the elder do whatever he had planned in mind.

Donghun pushed himself up from the ground, peeking around the tree, trying to see where the enemy was and how many of them had come.

“Chan?” Donghun called out for the youngest and they heard the Sun Summoner’s muffled voice seconds later. “What?”

“At the count of three.” Donghun gave out an order and without waiting for the younger’s answer started to count from one to three. Byeongkwan didn’t wonder much about it. He was sure Yuchan already knew what Donghun was asking him to do. He pushed himself up slightly to see what they were about to do.

Just as the word three left Donghun’s lips, Yuchan was up to his feet and beams of light were rushing forward, swift, chased after the dark shadows Donghun had released. The Shadow Summoner was still half hidden behind the tree, eyes fixed on the enemy ahead. Yuchan started to retreat towards them and Byeongkwan saw him nudge Junhee behind his back, half concentrated on the enemy few meters away from them and half getting himself and Junhee safely to their side.   

It took Donghun and Yuchan only a few seconds to have the enemy wailing on the ground, some shocked, some scared, some already still and silent. It took Yuchan few more seconds to get himself and Junhee to where Donghun and Byeongkwan had sheltered themselves, sliding up next to the elder, pressing his back to his and peering at the enemy from the other side of the tree, waiting to see if there were more of them coming, if it was already safe to move out.

Junhee kneeled down beside him on the ground, resting his palm in between Byeongkwan’s shoulder blades.

“Are you alright?” The Healer asked, voice faint and gentle. He looked pale and exhausted, as if he had not been exposed to the daylight in years.

“I am, don’t worry.” Byeongkwan reassured him, leaning back and taking Junhee’s hand in his as they waited for their lovers to try and make the world safer place for the four of them again.

Few minutes later everything returned back to the quiet it had previously been. Byeongkwan could hear Donghun’s and Yuchan’s uneven breathing from where he sat on the ground. The Shadow Summoner and the Sun Summoner moved around the tree and directed their gazes from the enemy to them.

“It’s safe now.” Donghun said, reaching his arm out to Junhee for support and pulling him up to his feet. “We should go.”

Yuchan reached down for Byeongkwan and he grasped the younger’s hand in his tightly, letting the Sun Summoner lift him up. Yuchan gave him a small, reassuring smile when they came face to face with each other and Byeongkwan tried to return it back. Donghun's words still in mind. _They were meant to burn, not to burn out._

“Le..” Yuchan started, but his eyes focused on something over Byeongkwan’s shoulder and the words died down in his throat. Byeongkwan turned to follow the other’s line of sight. There was a Hunter trying to steady himself up, leaning against the tree for support. Donghun was quick to reach out, shadows making its way to where the man stood, but Yuchan held onto the elder’s wrist and put his arm down.

“Don’t.” He said and all three of them turned to look at the younger. “He can’t see us.” Yuchan added and walked past Byeongkwan, making his way over to the man.

“Chan.” Junhee called after the younger and both Byeongkwan and Donghun reached out to hold him back at the same time.

“What are you doing?” Donghun asked and Byeongkwan heard a strain in his voice. The elder sounded angry, but was trying to hold himself back.

“He..” Yuchan turned his head slightly to glance at them, shrugging their arms off of him. “He may know where Sehyoon is.” He said and continued walking closer to the Hunter, leaving the three of them in silence and glancing at each other.

They watched as Yuchan placed his hand on the man’s shoulder, stirring a cry of terror out of him. The man tried to shrug him off, but Yuchan didn’t move. Junhee was the first to make his way towards the youngest and Donghun and Byeongkwan followed after him.

“Tell me where you take the captured Grisha and I will spare your life.” Yuchan was telling the man, who had fallen on his knees and was holding onto Yuchan’s robes, pleading him for his dear life.

Byeongkwan caught the sight of Donghun’s clenched fists. The Shadow Summoner was trying to restrain himself from tearing the Hunter apart.

“Tell me, Hunter and I might give you your vision back.” Yuchan repeated, unfazed by the man’s cries of help.

“I.. I don’t know. I.. I..” The man started, but Yuchan crouched down on the ground and grasped the Hunter’s jaw tightly in his hand, staring into the man's unfocused eyes he had blinded by the sunlight.  

“Tell me where you take the captured Grisha!” Yuchan demanded and he sounded impatient and furious, hold tight on the man’s jaw, eyes lit in fire. “Tell me or I will burn you inside out.” He threatened and in that moment, Byeongkwan was sure he would. Yuchan who hated hurting anything alive or dead, would set this man in fire without considering his decision twice. He was heartbroken, exhausted, worried about the well being of his lost lover. He was desperate. They were desperate for the answer.

“I.. I don’t..” The man stammered out and Yuchan smacked him across the face. It was so sudden, so unfamiliar, so unexpected that it drew a gasp of surprise out of the three of them. Junhee reached out to touch the younger, but decided against the idea in the end, arm hanging numbly on his side and let Yuchan do what he wanted to do, what he needed to do.

“Tell me!” Yuchan’s voice rose and echoed between the high trees surrounding them. The Sun Summoner was fuming in anger, shoulders shaking, delicate jaw sat tight. He bent down on the ground where the man had fallen from the impact of his hit and wrapped his fingers around the man’s throat.

“I gave you a chance.” Yuchan whispered quietly and the man started to thrash around on the ground, desperate fingers trying to grasp onto Yuchan's arm, mouth open, but no sound coming out, heels kicking against the tree roots, gold covered eyes blown wide in silent anguish. Junhee turned to avert his eyes from the sight. Sehyoon and Donghun killed fast, without the person feeling much pain, but the way Yuchan could kill was brutal. He burned them from inside out, slowly and painfully, fire eating them away little by little, making its way on the façade as agonizingly as it could. Yuchan’s abilities were so lovely, so full of light and life, but they could be so cruel and gruesome if he wanted to, if he had to.

The sight made Byeongkwan wonder how something so beautiful could be so terrifying and the voice inside his head didn't delay to give him an answer, whispering the sentence he had once read somewhere repeatedly, _“beauty is terror”, “beauty is terror and we quiver before it”._ Beauty was terror and Yuchan made everyone quiver before it.

“So.. Sou.. South..” The man chocked out in between his desperate gasps for air and Yuchan’s fingers loosened slightly around his throat. “We.. ta.. take them to the..” The Hunter trailed off for a few seconds, inhaling sharply. “To the base we built on.. on the so.. south border.” Yuchan released the man’s throat and pushed himself up. He was trembling from head to toe. The Sun Summoner turned to look at them, eyes blank and full of ache, previous fire completely gone.

“Fix him please.” Yuchan whispered to Junhee as he brushed against the Healer and moved away from them, hiding his face in the sleeve of his robes. He was crying. Byeongkwan’s heart burned in ache. Yuchan, their lovely, bright, sweet, delicate Yuchan, was not made to be doing this like things. Byeongkwan wanted to scream at the world, blame it for everything, for its cruelty, for all the cruel things it had done to them, scream at it for the answers, why would it try to make them this way if people like them were meant to hurt, why would it be so cruel to someone it had taken its time to make, why would it be so cruel to someone it had made full of kindness and light, to someone it had made to be sweet and lovely, why did it put all its beauty inside someone if it was going to treat them so badly, break them at any chance it got, taint their innocence with all the ugliness the world held within it. He hated how he could do nothing to protect Yuchan, shelter him from the cruelty of the world. Yuchan deserved to spend his life with flowers and clear blue skies, in happiness and light, he deserved to be loved and held dear, casting dust of gold and bringing happiness to everyone and everything he came in touch with, and not in the middle of the war, with death, pain and anguish. He hated how he could only stand back and let the world break him in the cruelest way possible. He could do nothing, but bear Yuchan’s pain, his own pain, their pain in silence, let it eat them away little by little, destroy them until all the beauty they carried was replaced by the pain and hatred. 

“I’ll talk to him.” Donghun’s voice brought him back to present and he glanced up at the elder with unfocused eyes. He gave him a slight nod and Donghun was already making his way over to where Yuchan had crouched down on the ground, face rested on his knees, fingers tugging onto his fading sunset colored hair.

“Hold him down please.” Junhee’s quiet voice caught his attention and he turned back to look at the Healer. The older male was hovering over the Hunter, trying to heal the damage Yuchan had caused.

He hated the idea of helping the enemy, helping the man who had killed their own kind, who had wanted to kill them, but he was not like them. He was a Grisha and he wouldn’t let the cruel world turn him into a heartless monster. He bent down and held the man’s legs firmly on the ground.

 

**Chapter Eighteen**

 

“Look at me, Chan.” Donghun said, trying to hold the younger’s face in his hands, but Yuchan refused to look at him.

“No. I.. I hurt him, Donghun. I did something so cruel to him, Donghun. I.. This isn’t me. I wo.. would never.. I..” Yuchan tried to move away from him, shaking his head from side to side, entire body trembling, golden tears staining his pale cheeks. 

“Look at me, love, please.” Donghun grabbed his hands, pleading and Yuchan still, brought back to his senses by his tone. He blinked up at the elder and Donghun’s heart ached by the amount of sorrow he saw in the younger’s eyes. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt him, but remember that he came here with the intention of killing you, killing us. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you if he had a chance, so don’t blame yourself for hurting him. We are in war and it’s a cruel place to be. Sometimes it doesn’t give us any other chance, but to kill, to harm, to destroy. If you don’t, then they will and I know you have already learned that by now, so stop blaming yourself for doing what you had to do. He and his people had hurt us more than once, he has killed our kind more than once, while you have done no harm to his people. They had taken our lover from us and all you are doing is to find a way back to him, find a way to bring him back to us, so don’t blame yourself for anything. You didn’t kill him. You didn’t let me kill him. Yes, you hurt him, but you let Junhee heal him, end his pain, bring him as much peace as he can. Don’t blame yourself for doing something they themselves had given you no other choice but to do. They started this war, the rest of us are just trying to survive, to save our loved ones.”

Yuchan went numb in his hands and Donghun pulling him in his embrace, resting the younger’s head against his chest, gently running his fingers though his hair, desperate to offer him comfort, soothe his pain as much as their situation made it possible.

“I’m tired.” Yuchan murmured against his chest and Donghun knew he was. He tightened his arms around the younger and buried his face in the Sun Summoner's hair, finding his own comfort in the closeness of their bodies.

“I know, love, I know, but endure a bit longer, just a little longer please.” He said and the silence wrapped itself around them. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, maybe for a few minutes. Donghun had lost the understanding of time. They remained still and quiet for a little while, finding peace in the warmth of each other.

Yuchan shifted in between his arms, blinking up at him, golden tears gathered in his exhausted, half-hooded eyes. “I just want to be led back to home, Donghun.” The Sun Summoner whispered, soft and faint and Donghun had to swallow back a scream of unbearable pain pressing against his mouth, had to force his tears back, had to restrain his shadows desiring to tear the whole world apart. Oh, how much he wished he could lead him back home, how much he wanted to be back home, with all four of them, together, in peace, lying near the lake, limbs tangled and breath in sync, looking at the cloudless, endless blue sky, basking in the warmth of the day and of each other, carefree and in love.

“I do too, love, we all do.” He pressed Yuchan as close to his chest as he could, leaned down and let his lips ghost over the younger’s skin, caressing his tear stained cheek with his quivering lips. “But there is something we should remember, danger will follow us everywhere we go until this war is over and until we have won. Right now, there is no home, Channie, there is no safe place for us, only danger and it’s waiting quietly in every corner we turn to, eager to catch us off guard. If we want to find our way back home, we have to win this war, so endure a bit longer, my love.”

Yuchan nodded and stopped fighting against himself, letting his eyes close and rest. “I miss Sehyoon.” He whispered and Donghun could no longer hold his tears back. He let them find their way on his face and their home inside Yuchan’s colorful hair.  

“I miss him too.” He managed seconds later, voice broken and quivering. He missed Sehyoon so much it hurt. It hurt more than anything ever had, more than anything ever would. The emptiness, lack of Sehyoon inside them, beside them, drove him mad, ripped his heart to shreds, broke him in every possible way. “I promise we will find him, Channie. We will find him, we will win this war and we will go back to our home, all five of us, together and find that happily ever after of ours, but until then battle, my love. Don’t let the war break you, stand for what you were meant for, what you were made for, bring the light to us, guide us to Sehyoon and after we find him, lead us back home, help every lost soul find their way back to home once the war is over.” Donghun said and Yuchan’s breath evened out with the last word that left his lips, exhaustion finally taking over him. Donghun picked him up in his arms, pressed him close to his chest and turned to look for the other two of his lovers.

Byeongkwan and Junhee were sitting on the ground, shoulders leaned against each other, conjoined hands rested in between their legs, gazing at the unmoving Hunter in front of them.

“We should go.” Donghun said, loud enough for them to hear and their eyes snapped to his direction, landing on his face before fixing on the motionless Sun Summoner in his arms.

Junhee nodded and got up, saying something to Byeongkwan he couldn’t hear from where he stood. The Alkemi helped the Hunter up and nudged him forward, hand on his shoulder, guiding him through the bushes. Donghun moved his fingers slightly and the shadows snaked themselves around the man’s upper body, restraining him and making sure he could present no harm to them.

Donghun glanced down at Yuchan in his arms, smiling gently at the sight of the sleeping younger. He wished he were taking him home. He wished they could be back home when Yuchan woke up, all five of them, without having to worry about the war.

“Let's go.” Junhee whispered to him as he passed over them and Donghun turned around and followed the Healer to the capital.  _They had to endure a bit longer before he could lead them back home. When the time would come, he would lead all four of them back to their home._

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> Here we go with a new chapter. I hope you will enjoy reading it. I've the following chapter planned out in my head and if my mind continues to cooperate next update will be probably up in a day or two.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They're greatly appreciated.  
> The usual goes for the mistakes, couldn't concentrate on fixing them, so I apologize in advance.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Nineteen**

 

Sehyoon could no longer control himself. Something inside him had gone blind in rage and hunger, in thirst and desire of bringing destruction to the people who wanted to hurt him, who wanted to hurt his lovers, his people. The Parem spreading in his blood made him feel invincible. There was nothing and there was no one that could stop him. He was going to make the Hunters regret everything they had done to Grisha, make them regret ever thinking of hurting Sehyoon's own kind.

He tore the tent he had been kept captive in apart, emerging outside in the sunlight that reminded him of Yuchan, screaming, starving and furious. He felt like he could tear the whole world apart. He felt like he could eat the whole world raw, crush it between his fingers, make it bleed in as much pain and agony as it had put him through, leave nothing of it, but pitiful shreds.

The Hunters had already surrounded the area around the tent, guns aimed at him, ready to fire at the first sign of threat.

“On the ground, Grisha!” Someone ordered and Sehyoon turned to look at them, fingers twitching from the uncontainable energy and uncontrollable power inside him. He heard his own teeth chattering, grinding against each other in anger. “On the ground, Grisha!” The man repeated his command and Sehyoon tilted his head to the side to look at him, smirking at the man with the same devilishness they had shown him when he had been trapped inside the iron net. He saw the man’s eyes waver for the briefest of moment before straightening up from his bent position and turning away from Sehyoon to the Hunter beside him. Sehyoon’s fingers twitched again and the unexpected sound of gunshot startled everyone around him. The man shot someone of his own. Everything felt silent for a second, the armed Hunters in front of him glancing between the dead body on the ground and the Heartrender. The moment of confusion among them gave Sehyoon enough time to move. He reached his tremoring arms out, hearing various sounds of heartbeats inside his head, loud and clear and easy to stop. He clenched and unclenched his fists and a second later he could no longer hear anything. The Hunters surrounding him laid on the ground, still and quiet, their heartbeats already gone.

Sehyoon turned away from them, finding his way through the tents, looking for the familar heartbeat of a Grisha, rendering anyone that dared to cross his path silent for eternity just by a slight move of his fingers.

“Grisha!” Someone behind his back demanded and Sehyoon spun around on his heels, coming face to face with few dozens of enemy, all kinds of weapons aimed at him. “Kill him!” The same voice ordered and the Heartrender laughed, laughed and the sound of his own laughter scared him. He sounded manic, like a blood thirsty monster excited to devour his prey after playing with it for hours, like a destruction starved creature about to destroy everything, entertain itself by the pain of others, by the suffering of everyone around him. Something was wrong with him. Something had gone wrong with him, but he couldn’t care. He couldn't bring himself to care. He was going to destroy the enemy and he was going to free the captive Grisha. He was going to end this war before it had really started.

“No one hurts my people and lives. Do you hear me? No one.” He screamed and didn’t bother to reach his arms out, snapped his fingers together and watched with pleased expression as life went out of the Hunters’ faces, watched as their eyes turned blank, heard them gasp in shock, in terror, in pain.

Sehyoon stood in the middle of the base Hunters had built for their experiments, for keeping Grisha captive, for keeping themselves entertained and watched as everything fell in chaos around him, watched as enemy turned against each other, destroying themselves slowly, man by man, just as they had tried to destroy Grisha, manipulated them like puppets they had tried to make of him, of his people, crushed their hearts to bits one by one, until the sounds of their heartbeats inside his head disappeared, until everything went completely quiet, until there was no living soul roaming the base left, until he was the only being breathing free.

He turned on his heels, walking straight to where the familiar heartbeats of Grisha beckoned him, asked him for help. He found them kept inside a large tent at the other end of the base, on the ground, still trapped and rendered powerless inside the iron nets.

Someone cried out in relief at the sight of him, of his familiar crimson robes. He bent down next to a young boy on the ground and tore the clasp of the net apart, setting him free, helping him out of it and up to his feet. He was wearing the same robes Junhee wore. _A young Healer._

“Don’t go outside.” He told the boy clutching onto his hands tightly. Sehyoon could hear his heartbeat even without trying, frantic and furious, complete opposite of Junhee's. He must have been terrified. He pried the boy’s fingers off of his hands and turned to free the others.

He moved from net to net, from person to person, until everyone was free, until he had sat each of them free, until he had made sure there was none of his kind held captive and forced into being powerless left.

“Who are you, son?” One of the women asked, stepping closer and taking his hands in hers. Sehyoon didn’t give her his name, simply gestured her to his robes and she nodded in understanding, not questioning him any further. “Thank you for saving us.” She said, full of sincerity and gratitude and let go of his hands, stepped back and closer to one of the children among them.

“We’ve to leave.” Sehyoon told the whispering Grisha and turned to leave the tent. Everyone followed silently after him. He heard few gasps of shock and cries of horror when he threw the entrance of the tent open and it revealed the ground fully covered with unmoving bodies of their captors, of their enemies, of the Grisha Hunters.

“What are you, son?” One of the men behind him asked, looking around the destroyed, eerily silent base.

Sehyoon didn’t say anything, walked away from the tent and out of the base, others trailing behind him, huddled together, still frantic from the fear that enemy would appear any second out of nowhere. But they wouldn't, not when Sehyoon was here and heard things no one could hear, not even the other Grisha, not even the other Heartrenders.

_Who are you, son? What are you, son?_ The voices repeated themselves inside his head. Sehyoon was no longer sure who he was, what he was, what was becoming of him. He tried to fight against the creature slowly waking up inside him, fighting against him, full of desire to take over him, overpower him, take control over everything that was Sehyoon, that remained of Sehyoon inside him. His fingers didn’t stop twitching for a moment, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't still the tremor in them. They kept moving on their own, looking for something to destroy, someone to kill, to satisfy their hunger, their thirst.

The Grisha were unsafe with him. He could lose control of himself any moment. He knew he was already on the verge of losing it. He was on the verge of losing himself. He had to bring them out in safety as fast as possible and part away from them. He couldn’t keep going with them. He couldn’t follow them to the capital. He was dangerous, for others, for himself, for his lovers. _His lovers._  

 

**Chapter Twenty**

 

“No, Donghun, no. You said, you promised that we wouldn’t leave each other.” Junhee sounded desperate, trying to convince the Shadow Summoner otherwise, trying to change his mind, his plans, the insane idea he had suddenly come up with. _Part ways. Go to different directions._

“I know, Jun, I know, love, I do, but time is running out, it's running out faster than it should and we can all feel it. I can feel it aching deep in my bones, setting me ablaze and I can't bear it anymore. He’s in danger and we can’t wait any longer.” Donghun told him, holding Junhee’s hands close to his chest, grasping them tightly, trying to explain, trying to reason with his worried lover.

“Bu.. But how can we do it, Donghun? I don’t want to.. What if something goes wrong? I.. I don’t want to lose any more of you. I can’t lose any of you.” Junhee struggled to free himself from the elder's hold, but Donghun held him closer, reached up with one hand and took his face in, giving him a smile of reassurance, a smile of silent promise.

“You won’t, love. I’ll make sure you won’t. Trust me one more time and we’ll return back to you unharmed with Sehyoon by our side. Trust me this once. I won’t ask for more.” Donghun stroked his cheek gently, smile not faltering even once, before wrapping his arms around the younger’s shoulders and pulling him against his chest, breathing him in. “We promised Sehyoon that we would go after him and we promised him that we would go to the capital and that’s what we are going to do. We are going to keep all the promises we have made to him, we have made to each other. I only need you to trust me, trust us. We’re going to fine, Junhee, we're going to be fine, love.” He rubbed Junhee’s back in comfort. He understood why he was upset, he was worried, he was afraid. He was all of those things himself, but they had no other choice. They had to bring Sehyoon back and time wasn’t kind enough to wait for them. It wanted them to separate, to find their ways back to each other once again, as they had before and Donghun knew, Donghun believed they would, he believed in them, in their abilities, in their love. They would find their way back to each other, no matter how hard, how many times life tried to pull them apart, separate their ways.

Junhee slowly pulled away from his embrace, meeting his gaze and holding it, teary eyes lit in fire.

“Go, and find him, but remember that you have to come back, together, because we will be waiting.” He said, quietly, in his usual calm tone and pressed his lips against Donghun’s, leaving bits of himself against it, for Donghun to remember that someone was waiting for him to return, for Donghun to know who to come back to, for Donghun to find his way back, to him, to them.

“We will, my love. Wait a little longer and we will.” Donghun whispered against his lips, parting away from the younger. Their bodies separated from each other physically, but their hearts remained together, mended in one, beating in the same rhymes.

 

**Chapter Twenty-One**

 

“I think it’s safe from here.” Yuchan said, seated on the ground, back pressed against the rough tree trunk. He opened his eyes, welcomed light inside them again and looked up at his lovers standing just a step away from him. “We haven’t seen them in two days and we should be near the capital by now, maybe two or three days away.”

“Don’t worry about our safety.” Byeongkwan told him, and placed his hand on Junhee’s shoulder beside him, squeezing it in comfort and encouragement. “We can manage.” The Alkemi gave him a self confident, reassuring smile and Yuchan knew they could. He would never doubt their abilities. He had seen what they could do. He knew what they could do and he believed in them. They would manage, both Byeongkwan and Junhee and him and Donghun.

“We should leave before the sun sets.” Donghun said and held his hand out for Yuchan. The Sun Summoner took it and let the elder pull him up to his feet. “The shadows will remain on him until I come back.” Donghun turned his attention back to Junhee and Byeongkwan and gestured them to the Hunter on the ground. “Bring him to the Queen and get everything he might know out of him.” He said and they nodded in return, in unison, eyes trained on the Hunter by their feet.

“His vision won’t return until I decide to give it back.” Yuchan added and leaned in closer to them. “Don’t let them kill him please.” He whispered and Junhee gave him a nod as a sign of silent promise.

“We will try to pro..” Byeongkwan started, but Yuchan didn’t let him finish, shaking his head.

“No, you have to keep him alive. You have to, okay? For me, please.” He gathered Byeongkwan’s and Junhee’s hands in his, asking them to promise him, pleading them to keep the Hunter alive, a Hunter who would kill them, their own kind, without any hesitance, without considering his decision twice. But they were not like their enemy. They were Grisha and they were kind and forgiving and they would not become like them. They wouldn’t let the enemy make them as heartless, as merciless as they were. They were different, in all means, in all ways, and they were better.

“We promise, Channie. Don't worry.” Junhee told him and Byeongkwan nodded at the other's words in agreement. Yuchan released their hands, but pulled them in an embrace instead.

“Stay safe please.” He whispered, head rested between their shoulders, arms tight around them, breathing in their fragrance, remembering warmth of their bodies to last him as long as he would have to be away from them, keep their trace on him, his trace on them. “We will bring Sehyoon back.” He promised and he was sure they would. He and Donghun would turn the universe upside down and find him. They would go through hell and beyond and bring him back. They would bring their Heartrender back.

“We’ll be waiting for you.” Byeongkwan whispered, pulled them closer to himself, fingers clutching onto their robes tightly. “We will be waiting for you to return.”

“And we will return.” Donghun said behind them and a second later his arms founder their way around them, gathering them in a single embrace, uniting them into a one, whole being, with only one part of them missing, with only their Heartrender gone, but they were going to bring him back, they would feel the growing void between them with him again.

“I love you.” Yuchan whispered and his lovers echoed it back. _I love you. I love you. I love you._ One was missing, but not for long, not much longer. They were going to find him and bring him back.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

 

“You have to go alone from here.” Sehyoon said as he came to a halt on the edge of the forest, turning back to face the Grisha following him. “I can’t go with you anymore.” He told them and felt a shudder run through his body, shaking him with so much force, turning his insides upside down and into a complete madness. He couldn’t hold much longer and they needed to get away from him as fast as possible.

“Why? We can’t leave you behind alone.” The young Healer he had freed first said, coming up to the front and looking at him with pleading eyes. They probably saw someone who could protect them in him, someone who could lead them to safety, back to their homes, to their loved ones, but Sehyoon only saw something terrifying, something dangerous, something hungry in rage inside him. He could protect them from the Hunters, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to protect them from himself. He was losing control and the destruction thirsty creature inside him was taking over his senses, taking over him, over everything he was, over everything he knew, over everything he had become after meeting them, his lovers, his Junhee, his Yuchan, his Donghun, his Byeongkwan, the only happiness he knew, the only love he had come to learn and live with.

“You have to.” Sehyoon said and took the boy by his shoulders, trying to restrain his strength to not crush him in his iron grip. “Go to the capital an.. And if you ever find a Healer called Junhee, a Sun Summoner called Yuchan, a Shadow Summoner called Donghun or an Aklemi called Byeongkwan tell them.. Please, I beg you, tell them that their lover is sorry for not keeping his promises and that he thought of them even after the last breath had left him.” Sehyoon pleaded, took the boy’s hands in his and repeated the names of his lovers, the names that brought him so much pain and peacefulness in this moment, the names he would utter with his last breath, the names he would think of even after the life had left his body forever.

“No, what are you saying? You’re co..” The boy started, worried, frustrated, but Sehyoon didn’t have enough time to hear him, to argue with him. It was running out and they needed to get away from him, he needed to get away from them.

“I can’t go with you.” He gritted through his teeth, jaw tight, trying to resist the furious creature inside him. “Something is wrong with me and I can’t control it anymore. You have to go. Go and take everyone to the capital, and please, please find them, my lovers, find them and tell them what I told you, tell them that I’m sorry and I love them more than I have ever loved anyone, more than I have loved myself, more than I have loved my life. Please find them. This is the only thing I ask of you.”

“Is there nothing we can do do help? There should be a way.” A woman behind the boy asked him, stepped forward and placed her hand on his arm, squeezing it firmly, but gently, in comfort and sorrow.

“No. I don’t know, but you have to leave, please, you have to go.” Sehyoon pleaded as another harsh wave of tremor run through his body, shaking him from head to toe, from inside out. The woman nodded, moving back, kind eyes still trained on him.

“Thank you, Heartrender.” She said, bowing in gratitude. “We will find your lovers.” The woman promised and walked past him, her warm hands grazing against his arm in a silent farewell.

Sehyoon watched them leave one by one, heard their _thank yous_ and promises of finding his lovers. He felt at ease. He felt comforted. He knew they would find his lovers and bid them farewell in place of him, they would find them and tell them that they were everything Sehyoon ever had, they would be everything Sehyoon would ever have, in any life, in any time, in any universe. His heart knew no one, but them, loved no one, but them, would love no one, but them.

He watched the Grisha go, one by one, listened as their heartbeats and hushed whispers faded away before turning back to where they had come from, returning to the base he had destroyed, to the base that had destroyed him, that had brought him to his end.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> here goes a new chapter. It was supposed to be better (or I'd say I had it planned to be better), but I suddenly fell ill and ended up with this. I thought about waiting until I felt better at first, but I don't know how long this will last and I need to finish this story by the end of August, so I couldn't really keep waiting. I still hope you will enjoy reading it.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. I kind of got to talk with some of you through the comments and everyone seems so sweet. I appreciate each thought left behind on the chapters.  
> I apologize for the mistakes in advance. It was harder than usual to concentrate on fixing them, but I did try.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

 

“Channie.” Donghun whispered, trying to shake the younger Grisha awake. “Channie, wake up, we have to go.” Yuchan mumbled something incoherent in his sleep and turned on his other side on the rough ground, ignoring the elder’s voice calling him back to consciousness. “We need to leave, love.” Donghun shook him harder, squeezing his shoulder tightly, and watched as Yuchan stirred awake slowly.

The Sun Summoner turned to lay on his back and blinked up at him, eyes half-closed, dirt and tree leaves stuck in his fading sunset colored hair. Donghun reached out and gently combed the younger’s hair back and out of his face, offering him a sad, but a warm smile as a greeting.

“Wh.. Wha.. Where are the others?” Yuchan sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand, looking around the clearing and dying fire sleepily, mind still hazy and struggling to catch up. The sun had barely appeared on the horizon, its light weak and lacking of warmth.

Donghun’s weak smile faltered and vanished from his exhausted face. He opened his mouth to say something to the younger, but the huge lump forming inside his throat made it impossible for him to talk, choking him slowly, from within, threatening him to remain silent. Yuchan blinked for a few times, looking up at him expectantly, waiting for him to give explain, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to say. He had nothing to say. He no longer knew where the rest of their lovers were. He watched as blankness and confusion inside Yuchan's eyes cleared, and the sadness and pain took its place inside them. He turned his face away and straightened up, gripping his dark robes in his clenched fists tightly.

“I’m..” Yuchan said, voice breaking, and pushed himself up from the ground. “I’m sorry, Hun. I.. I was dreaming about.. We were at home by the lake and we.. I.. Donghun.. I..” The Sun Summoner reached up and cupped Donghun’s face in his trembling hands, leaning in closer and resting his forehead against the elder’s. “I’m so..” He started, but the Shadow Summoner cut him off by pulling him in a hug, wrapping his arms around the younger and pressing him against his chest, one arm around his waist and another around his shoulders, fingers caressing Yuchan's hair soothingly, trying to give him some comfort and gather some of it from him.

“A little more.” Donghun whispered and Yuchan heard his voice waver. He didn’t want the Sun Summoner to see him crying, but Yuchan could feel the intense emotions bottling up inside the elder, heard silent tears inside his trembling voice, felt them through their connected bodies. Donghun had tried to hold himself together for so long for the sake of his lovers, but he had finally reached his limit. They all were finally reaching their limits. There was so much they could endure, they could take and they could feel each other's limits nearing closer and closer each passing second, by each breath they had to take without the Heartrender, without the Healer and the Alkemi. “Wait a little longer, my love.” Donghun said and it wasn't meant only for Yuchan to hear, but for the five of them, for him, for Donghun himself, for Sehyoon, for Byeongkwan and Junhee.

_Wait a little longer, my love._

Yuchan would wait. He was waiting. He had been waiting. They were waiting, had been waiting, but time wasn’t. It didn't wait for anyone and it wouldn't wait for them and knowing that scared him, terrified him, let his thoughts run loose and torture him. All he could do was hope that Sehyoon was alive, heart still beating and waiting to hear their heartbeats, waiting to hear the familiar melodies of his lovers' hearts. All they could do was hope that Sehyoon had been waiting, for them to come, for his lovers to come and take him back. All they could do was hope and Yuchan hoped their love was strong enough to win over the time that couldn't be stopped, win over the endless cruelty the world put them through continuously, only letting them breath once before putting them through pain for hours, for days, for weeks all over again. Yuchan could do nothing, but hope, hope that their love was enough, that they were enough to win one more battle against life.

“We’re going to find him.” Donghun choked out as Yuchan wrapped his arms around the Shadow Summoner’s waist and buried his face in between the elder's neck and shoulder, squeezing him tightly in his embrace, trying to share his hope and warmth with his lover through their bodies. “We’re going to find him.” Donghun repeated and Yuchan heard it then. The doubt. Donghun was unsure of his own words, unsure of their promises, of finding Sehyoon, of having their lover back. He was unsure of returning to home they once had, full of happiness, full of light, full of memories, full of life and love. This was the first time he was hearing it in Donghun’s voice and it broke something inside him, shattered it to pieces. Their hopefulness, their faith was slowly slipping away from them, from their depserate fingers still trying to grasp onto the remnants of it. Donghun was no longer sure of finding Sehyoon. He had already lost his hope, his faith and Yuchan tried to dig deep inside his own heart, tried to find and gather as much of hope as he could find, as much of it as it somehow, someway, had remained inside him, tried to find something he could offer Donghun, something he could offer himself, something to last them for a little while, to help them keep going until they found Sehyoon, until they found their lost lover and their way back home, to Byeongkwan and Junhee.

He pulled away from the elder’s chest, gripping Donghun’s arms with his hands, holding his gaze as he spoke.

“We will find him.” He started, firm and clear, trying to convince not only Donghun, but himself, making sure he himself believed each word he said. “The world can try to keep us apart all it wants, but it will never win, not against us. We will never let it win. It can try to rip us apart as many times as it wants, but it won’t succeed, because what we have is stronger,what we have is so much bigger than anything it can possibly hold against us. Our love can overcome anything life throws at us. And, no matter how hard, how impossible it gets, we will always find our ways back to each other. There is only one destination for us, Donghun, only one. Maybe the road each of us have to take to get there is different, is longer than the others' or rougher than the others, but our destination will always be the same - each other. Every road leads back to home, back to where our memories lay, back to where our love has begun, back to where our story is meant to be written and completed. We will find Sehyoon, then Byeongkwan and Junhee and we will go home, five of us, because no matter where we are, what we are going through, there is one thing that never changes, our love, and it will always guide us back home, back to each other, back to where we are meant to be.” Yuchan told him and watched as fire slowly stirred back to life inside Donghun's dark eyes, grew stronger by each word that left his lips and hang in the air between them.

Donghun gazed at him for a few more seconds before taking Yuchan's face in between his hands and kissing him, kissing him with all the pain, all the anguish and sorrow inside him and Yuchan felt him, heard him, understood him wordlessly.

Love was hope and their guide back home, and it didn't matter where they were, what they were going through, in the end it would always guide them back to each other, because it was always five hearts united in one, always five mended in one, always five turned one. They were the only way their love knew and no matter where life tried to throw it, it would always drift back to them, it would always return to where it had begun.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

 

By the late afternoon of the second day since they had separated with Donghun and Yuchan, high walls of the capital appeared on the horizon and fell within Byeongkwan’s and Junhee’s sight, their heavy chests starting to find some relief with each step they took towards it, closer and closer, the walls surrounding it growing higher and higher. It had seemed unreachable for weeks, but not anymore. It was closer than it had ever been.

“We’ve arrived.” Byeongkwan said and Junhee heard relief in his lover's voice. They had gone through a lot to come here, to reach the capital of their land. They had risked so much and had lost the most important parts of themselves on their way to here and they hoped that the capital would be able to help them find what they had lost, return what was theirs back to them, somehow, in some ways, by winning this war, by bringing an end to this war.

“Finally.” Junhee whispered and took the Alkemi’s hand in his, linking their fingers together and squeezing it in hope, in comfort, in relief. They had finally reached the capital.

The road got busier and louder as they grew closer, mingling inside the crowds of Grisha, busy discussing, searching, preparing. It didn't take long for people to start directing their attention to them, their interest piqued by the sight of the restrained Hunter walking slightly ahead of them, guided by the firm hold of their own kind, by the other Grisha. The hushed whispers grew louder around them, fingers pointing at them, air tense and standing still. The word spreaded fast among them, from Grisha to Grisha, and to the Queen. They had brought a Hunter in the capital.

They were half way to the palace when the Queen’s guard appeared within their line of sight, walking towards them in hurried, but steady steps.

“Healer,” One of the guards said as they came to a halt two steps away from them, bowing their head slightly in a greeting, “Alkemi.”

“Heartrender.” Junhee and Byeongkwan nodded back to the woman wearing the same robes Sehyoon wore, both of them gripping the Hunter’s shoulders in their hands. Yuchan’s words ringing through their heads. _Don’t let them kill him please._

“Where are the other three?” The woman asked, glancing around in search of the rest of their lovers. Byeongkwan and Junhee remained silent, staring in the distance over her head. They wished they knew. They wished they had an answer to give. She nodded in understanding before turning on her heels and gesturing them to follow. “The Queen has been waiting for your arrival.” She said and walked back to the palace as hurriedly as she had come. The rest of the guards moved around to stand in different positions, ready to escort them to the Queen.

Byeongkwan and Junhee followed them silently, holding and squeezing each other’s hands, in courage, in reassurance, as a silent form of communication between them, guiding the Hunter on his way and to the palace. They were going to meet the Queen, bring the captive to her, make sure to keep the promises they had made and wait for their lovers to return, safe, and unharmed, and together.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

 

Sehyoon leaned heavily against the tree trunk for support before slipping down on the ground strengthlessly, breath shallow, heart beating in an irregular, unfamilar manner, in a way he had never heard it beat before, playing a melody Sehyoon didn’t know, a melody that wasn't his.

He had destroyed everything, papers, documents, samples, recordings, any kinds of evidence of experiments that had taken place there, after returning to the base. He had erased everything the enemy had collected and learned of the Grisha. He had killed everyone and he had destroyed everything. The Hunters wouldn’t be able to hurt them anymore. They wouldn't be able to hurt his lovers, his own kind ever again. Sehyoon had made sure that he would take everything with him in the after life, out and away of the harmful, merciless hands of the enemy.

He had made sure that the Grisha would win this war. The Grisha were going to win this war, without him, but they were, with his help. Sehyoon hoped he had somehow managed to guarantee the safety of his lovers. He hoped they were safe, they were together and alright. He hoped they would find a way to warm their home again after the war, fill his place in their hearts, in between their arms with each other. He hoped they would be happy even after he was gone, hoped they would be happy without him, with each other, spending their days only in love and happiness, and looking forward to the day they would be reunited once again, in another time, in another life, five of them, together, again and for forever.

Sehyoon gazed at the base ahead, fully engulfed by the fire, and watched it burn and crumble into ashes bit by bit. It made him think of himself, how the life inside him was slowly starting to fade away along with the fire flames in front of him, all the power, all the energy he had felt earlier disappearing as fast, as unexpectedly as it had come. Twitching of his fingers and grinding of his teeth started to get less frequent and were replaced by the continuous tremor running through him, making it impossible to move, impossible to do anything, but lie on the ground, against the tree and wait for his end to come. He had no strength left to fight. There was nothing inside him left that could fight, that wanted to fight. He was tired. He felt tired. His entire being asked for rest. He wanted to rest. He wanted to sleep and hope everything would be fine when he woke up, everything would be better when he woke up. He wanted to believe that he would see another sunrise, he would wake up and see his lovers, around the lake near their house, chattering and laughing loudly, laying together, feet touching, legs and arms tangled, feeling and hearing no one, but each other, wanting and loving no one, but each other, being happy and in peace because of each other, for each other.

Sehyoon laid against the tree and watched the untameable flames of fire engulf the base in their arms, hoping for a miracle, for the miracle that was being with his lovers, for the miracle that were his lovers. He wished to see another day, another sunrise, wished to be together with them, laughing with them, cooking with them, sleeping with them, caring for each other, loving each other. He wished he could see them again, one last time, even for the smallest of moment, feel their presence around him, next to him, inside him, feel their gentle touches burning against his numb skin, whispering confessions and making promises of meeting each other in another life, in another time, where there would be no wars and only them, where they would have all the time in the world to love each other, free and unafraid, five hearts beating for each other, five hearts mended into one by love and playing five different melodies in a perfect harmony.

Sehyoon tried to fight the numbness off, keep himself awake, but he no longer could. He felt heavy, as if he was back in the water, drowning, but this time there was no one to help him, there was no Junhee to save him. He was underwater, sinking deep, life slowly slipping away from his grasp and there was no one to guide him to heaven, guide him to the place he had once so foolishly had mistaken as his beautiful after life.

His eyes felt too heavy for him to keep them open, his chest felt too heavy to move, he was too strengthless to try and fight for another take of breath and the promises of peaceful sleep, wishfulness of seeing his lovers in his dreams felt too good to fight against, to resist, to push away. He wanted to see Junhee laugh once more, soothing and healing, he wanted to see Yuchan dance under the sunlight, casting dust of gold on everyone and everything around him one more time, he wanted to look into Donghun's dark, but warm, clear eyes once more, find himself being reflected inside, he wanted to feel Byeongkwan's fingers in between his one more time, offering him strength and courage before he would have to say goodbye, bid them farewell for a little while. 

Sehyoon couldn't fight any longer. He no longer wanted to fight and as his consciousness was about to finally slip out of him, he caught something in the distance, coming towards him, getting closer and closer to where he laid, hopeless, powerless, dying. He heard familiar voices calling him, repeating his name over and over, again and again. _Sehyoon. Sehyoon_. He heard them cry his name, plead him to stay awake, to say something and he forced himself to resist one last time, put up a final fight. For the smallest of moment his vision cleared and he saw him, beaming with light and hope and beauty and he stopped struggling, let himself rest, let the eternal sleep take over him, mind, heart and soul suddenly feeling at peace. An angel, angel so similar to Yuchan, as beautiful and bright as Yuchan, as warm and golden as Yuchan, had come to guide him, keep him company in another world, in his other life as he would wait for his lovers to come, until his lovers would come to join him.

 _“Don’t leave us please.”_   Sehyoon heard the angel whisper as the blackness finally took over him and he saw and heard nothing.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> Here goes a new chapter. This update was supposed to be only around 3000 words, but it somehow ended up being over 6000 words, which probably explains why it turned into a complete mess, but I hope it gives answers to some of your questions.  
> There's only a chapter or two of this story left and I'll try to get working on them as soon as possible.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They're greatly appreciated.  
> I apologize for all the mistakes in advance. I tried to fix them (I did), but I'm sure there are still plenty of them left, because if it's not a very obvious or a huge mistake, my eyes tend to read them correctly and they slip away just like that.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

 

The Queen’s Guard led Junhee and Byeongkwan first through the crowds of murmuring Grisha and then inside the palace, only coming to a stop when they reached high, closed doors deep within it. The Heartrender pushed the doors open and went in to warn the Queen of their arrival, a minute later she was back and leading them inside the room, a round table placed in the middle of it, the Queen herself and few others were sat around it. Every occupant of it turned to look at them, their gazes intense and heavy on the Healer and the Alkemi.

Junhee and Byeongkwan bent their heads slightly to greet the Queen. It was a very simple gesture. The Grisha didn’t bow to the Queen, a sign of equality among them, only the people of other nations had to bow or bent in front of her. The Heartrender pushed the Hunter they had brought with them to the capital on his knees and her sudden harsh movements stirred a startled cry of fear and shock out of him. Junhee opened his mouth to say something, but Byeongkwan’s tight squeeze on his hand held him back.

“I’ve been informed that the only two of you have come.” The Queen said, hands placed on the table's white surface, leaning slightly forward to get a better look of them. “Why is that?”

“Something happened on our way to here.” Junhee started and his mouth felt dry suddenly. The Queen had especially asked for five of them. _The five of them must come to the capital_ had been her order that had reached them in their little town on the other end of the Grisha land, so far from the palace where the Queen resided, but her words had still managed to reach them even from all the way from the capital to their little, forgotten town. The Grisha knew each other well and it was easy for the news to travel from person to person and from place to place, especially in case of the emergency, especially when the nation needed their help. “They will come soon as you have asked of us.” The Queen hummed to herself, leaning back in her chair, her gaze still fixed on the two of them.

“Tell me, Healer, what could be more important than coming to the capital in the situation our kind is currently in?” She asked, her voice calm. It didn’t hold any malice. She was asking because she needed to know, because they were her people.

“Sehyoon... Our Heartrender got captured by the enemy. They went after them to get him back.” Junhee explained and Byeongkwan’s hold on his hand turned iron strong. He glanced at the other male beside him. The Alkemi had his head hung low, staring at the floor silently. Junhee couldn’t decide if Byeongkwan was angry or sad, or maybe both at the same time. He wanted to console the younger, but first they had to get their meeting with the Queen over.

“Your Heartrender..” The Queen repeated, getting up from her seat and walking closer to where Junhee and Byeongkwan were standing, avoiding the kneeling Hunter with a brief glance. “Have you been coping well?” She asked, craning her neck slightly. Junhee caught the sight of various kinds of emotions flickering in her eyes when their gazes met. They were full of some kind of motherly love, care and concern. They were indeed her people and their Queen cared for her people greatly.

“We have been trying to endure the lack of their presence within us as best as possible.” Junhee told her, glancing at Byeongkwan by the corner of his eye for the briefest of moment. The Alkemi had finally raised his head and was gazing at the older woman in front of them.

The Queen nodded before turning on her heels and walking back to her chair on the table.

“Come, take a seat.” She gestured them with her open palm to the vacant chairs in the room after she had lowered herself into her own. “Tell me what you need and show me what you have brought.”

Junhee led Byeongkwan to the table, pushing their seats closer. He laid out the damaged iron net they had brought with them on the table, attracting every occupant’s attention to it immediately, before taking his seat beside Byeongkwan and taking the younger's hand in his.

“What is this, Healer?” One of the men around the table asked, leaning forward to examine the net closer, thick brows furrowed in concentration.

“We aren’t sure.” Junhee started hesitantly and told them everything he knew, everything he and his lovers had seen on their way to the capital and he considered to be important enough for the Queen to know. Every person in the room listened to him attentively, their focus fully on him, leaning forward on the table’s surface, their shoulders tense and gazes heavy on the Healer. They asked him few questions in between his story, some he had answers for, some he didn’t know what to say. Neither him and Byeongkwan knew much. They could only tell what they had seen with their own eyes, what they had gone through themselves. Junhee felt disappointed by his lack of ability to answer each question that came to his direction, but he still hoped they had brought something useful for them, they had told something useful to win the war. He still hoped they hadn’t risked everything, their lives, their loves, each other for nothing.

“Thank you, Healer.” The Queen nodded in his direction, expression pleased. “And Alkemi. Shall we hear what your companion has to say?” She gestured behind their backs and Junhee found himself lost for the briefest of moment, before he remembered about the Hunter they had brought to the capital with them, turning on his seat to look at the man. He was still kneeling on the ground, seeming small and pitiful, the Queen’s Guard sending invisible daggers in his lowered head.

“Heartrender.” The Queen turned to the woman that had assisted Junhee and Byeongkwan to the palace. She stepped forward and closer to the Hunter on the ground and placed her palm on the man’s head. The Hunter let out a loud gasp of surprise before inhaling sharply.

“He will tell anything you need to know, my Queen.” The Heartrender said and everyone on the table turned in their seats to observe the Hunter.

“Tell us everything you know on the war.” The Queen ordered and the man did. He told them everything he knew about the war, its reasons, the plans his own nation had, what they were doing to the Grisha, had been doing to the missing Grisha, wanted to do to the Grisha without taking a single breath, his body and mind out of his control, completely obeying the Heartrender standing behind him, eyes glazed and shoulders slightly slumped. The air in the room changed from being tense, to being furious, to being cold and back again. It repeated itself in cycles and as Junhee took a look of the Grisha around him, he realized that everyone was on the edge of their seats, fingers clenched in tight fists, trying their best to not kill the Hunter before he could finish sharing the stomach-churning plans of his nation. Junhee shared a brief glance with Byeongkwan, communicating silently, with their eyes, Yuchan’s words coming alive inside their heads. Neither of them was sure if they could keep the promise they had made to the Sun Summoner, not anymore, not when even their blood boiled in anger, worry and frustration. _Sehyoon._   _What was happening to him now? Was he also being forced into a cruel experiment? Was he treated like a toy for the Hunters’ entertainment? Were Donghun and Yuchan safe? Would three of their lovers be safe? Would they see them ever again?_ Junhee felt Byeongkwan’s body go stiff, his eyes, burning in anger, fixed on the Hunter in front of them who kept talking, who kept going, unaware that with each word that left his mouth he digged his own grave deeper, brought his own end upon himself.

Junhee pulled Byeongkwan closer to him, their bodies touching, and tried to comfort the younger silently. He needed Byeongkwan on his side. He couldn’t break his promise to Yuchan. They couldn’t break their promise to their youngest. He wasn’t sure how he, how they, would be able to convince the Queen or her advisers to not kill the man, but they had to try their best. They had to make sure the man was kept alive, only because Yuchan had asked of him, of them, only because Yuchan had seen something in the Hunter worth saving, had seen something human inside this cruel, despicable man, who was probably nothing, but a toy in the hands of his own nation. Maybe Yuchan was able to see his true nature. Maybe Yuchan saw something they didn’t, something behind the façade all Hunters carried. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t know, but Yuchan did and Junhee trusted his lover with everything he had, everything he was and he would try his best to keep his promises.

The Hunter felt silent after a while and the air in the room stood still, heavy and angry above them. Everyone turned their attention from the man to the Queen, waiting for her final decision, what she had to say.

The Queen rose from her seat, paced in the room for a few seconds before coming to a stop behind her chair, hands placed on the headrest, gazing at the Hunter with cold, but pained eyes. But the pain wasn't caused by the decision she had made. They were full of pain for all the Grisha who had to suffer because of this man, because of this man's nation.

“Public execution.” She said and her audience suddenly came alive, heads nodding, comments of satisfaction made and shared among them.

“You can’t kill him!” Junhee found himself jolting up from his seat, surprising even himself from his sudden, unexpected outburst.

“What are you saying, Healer?!” One of the man around the table turned a chilling glare to his direction and Junhee felt himself shudder. _What was he saying?_ He didn’t know, but he had to keep his promises.

 “You can’t kill him.” He repeated and tried to sound firm, turning his pleading eyes to the Queen.

“Why not, Healer?” She questioned, gazing back at him, eyes clear with no notable emotion inside them. Junhee heard someone behind his back whisper, _“is he even hearing himself?”_. He wasn’t, he could only hear Yuchan inside his head. _Don't let them kill him please._

He opened his mouth trying to come up with a reason, something worthy enough to make the Queen change her mind, something reasonable, sound enough to keep the Hunter alive. As he struggled to form a coherent answer Byeongkwan beside him spoke for the first time since they had arrived, gathering everyone’s attention on him.

“It’s an order from the Sun Summoner.” He said, voice calm and steady and his words caused the room to fell back in silence for a few seconds.

“Ah, the sweet, sweet terrifying boy of yours.” The Queen clasped her hands together, smiling. ”And why has he ordered such a thing of us?” She asked, walking around the table to come up closer to them. Byeongkwan pushed himself up from the chair, returning her gaze.

“He didn’t have enough time to give his reasons. It’s an order that must be kept.” Byeongkwan said as his hand came up to rest on Junhee’s waist, giving him a support he didn’t know he needed and the Healer felt relief suddenly wash over him. _Why had he not thought of it earlier?_

“What does a young boy of his age know?” One of the man stood up from his chair, seemingly angry. “An enemy must be ex..” He started, but the Queen raised her hand, gesturing him to remain silent and the man did.

The Queen glanced between Junhee and Byeongkwan for a few seconds before nodding her head in understanding and turned to look at the Hunter.

“Put him in the dungeons.” She ordered the Heartrender, not paying any mind to the protests that broke out behind her back. “Make sure he stays alive until the Sun Summoner arrives and assist the Healer and the Alkemi to their tent.” The Queen instructed her guard before returning her attention on Junhee and Byeongkwan. “Get as much rest as you may need tonight. I want you, Healer, to take a charge of the Healers from tomorrow afternoon and you, Alkemi, must join the others in the labs, work on this net and give the right directions to the others. You will be given anything you two may need. Inform me the first thing when the other three come back. They have duties to fullfil that can't be delayed much longer.” She told them and Junhee and Byeongkwan gave quiet ‘yeses’ in return before the guard led them out of the palace and to the tents scattered in the heart of the capital where a common market once used to be located, while the Hunter was taken to the dungeons built below the palace.

“They are fine.” Byeongkwan whispered a reassurance for himself and Junhee. _Their lovers were fine._ It was something they wanted to believe. It was something they hoped was true.

“They are.” Junhee told the younger and managed a small, comforting smile in return. _They were fine. They would be fine. They would._

 

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

 

“What are we going to do?” Yuchan asked as he wiped off the cold sweat of Sehyoon’s forehead by the hem of what once used to be his golden-white robes. It had been a day since they had found Sehyoon lying under the tree, gazing at the enemy's base completely engulfed by the fire, consciousness slowly leaving him as Yuchan tried to shake him awake, as Yuchan begged him to stay awake, to stay with him, to not leave them.

“I don’t know, love.” Donghun said and passed him a hard as stone piece of bread they had taken with them from one of the villages they had passed through three days before. “All we can do for now is to remain calm and get him to the capital as fast as possible. Junhee and Byeongkwan should know. They should know, right? It’s something they should know, Channie. They will know what to do. They will, but we have to bring Sehyoon to them first.” Donghun’s voice slowly faded away as he tried to convince himself and Yuchan that the other two of his lovers would know what to do, would find something to help Sehyoon, something to bring him back, return him to his usual composed self.

The Heartrender had only come back to consciousness once, few minutes prior they had been forced to take a little break, entire body spazzing, eyes blown wide in monstrous hunger, bloodshot and terrified, screaming something about Jurda Parem neither Donghun and Yuchan had heard of. They had held him firmly down on the ground, restraining their thrashing lover, trying to calm him down, bring him back to his senses, tell him that he had been found. His lovers had finally found him and they would make sure he would be fine, they would make sure he could make it, he would make it. Their Sehyoon was stronger than this and there was nothing he couldn't do, he couldn't overcome, he couldn't fight off. Yuchan and Donghun believed in him, kept their faith in him, that he could, that he would. Their Sehyoon would be fine. He was no longer alone and his lovers were with him now.

Sehyoon had only recognized them for the smallest of moment when his eyes had suddenly cleared and he had clutched onto their arms tightly as if his life had depended on them. And Yuchan, knew Sehyoon’s life depended on them. He knew their lives depended on him.

“I killed the scientists.” Sehyoon had said to them, frantic, as if he was running out of time, as if he had only few seconds of life inside him left. “I destroyed everything. They won’t hurt you anymore. They won’t hurt you. I won’t let them. I won’t let them hurt you ever again. The war will be over and we will go home. We will go home. Promise me that you will go back home. Please, promise me that you will, promise me that you will take me back home. Please Donghun, please Chan, promise me, I want to go home, please.” And he had gone cold in their arms again, heartbeat faint and barely noticeable, almost impossible to hear, almost impossible to feel. A Heartrender whose heart was about to fell silent, whose heart was about to stop beating. Their Heartrender. He wanted to go home and they would take him home. All five of them would go home once the war was over, once all five of them were reunited, once all five of them were mended back into one, whole, complete being. Sehyoon wanted to go home. They all did and they would. They would go home no matter how the universe, how the life tried to stop them, no matter how far they tried to push five of them away from home, they would always find their ways back. They would always be led back to home no matter which road they took, because there was only one destination for them, their separated ways had only one end – home. Their home. A home made of five hearts, five minds and five souls. A home made of their love and memories. A home made of them for each other.

They would go home, soon, because home was the only way they had, the only way they knew, the only ending they wanted. Sehyoon didn't have to wait much longer. They were going back home. 

 

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

 

A week had passed after Donghun and Yuchan had found Sehyoon, a week since they had sat back on the journey to the capital, a week since they had last taken a proper break, had eaten something or drank any water, but neither of them felt anything, no fatigue, no thirst, only one thought in mind – get Sehyoon to Junhee and Byeongkwan as fast as possible. They walked and walked and walked, pushed against the tree roots and branches, against the thorn bushes, against the waters, and rivers and stones and mud, robes torn, faces sunken, eyes devoid of any kinds of emotion. They barely talked, barely looked at one another. Their minds repeating the same sentence all over again. _Promise me that you will take me back home. Promise me that you will take me back home_. _Take me back home. Take me home. Home._

Their home was anywhere five of them were together. Their home could be any place with five of them inside it. They were each other’s home and home was anywhere they went if they were together, all five of them and Donghun and Yuchan were taking Sehyoon home, they would take Sehyoon home, back to Junhee and Byeongkwan, who were waiting for them to return, waiting for their home to shape itself back, no longer quiet, no longer empy, full of their presence, their memories, their love and them. They were taking Sehyoon home. They were going home. Home was anywhere as long as five of them were together, as long as five of them found their ways back and Donghun and Yuchan were finding their way to home with Sehyoon by their side, they were finding their way back to Byeongkwan and Junhee, back to their home, back to a place that had five of them together, five, five hearts, five minds, five souls, turned into one home, one loving, warm, beautiful home.

A week had passed and the sun was about to sat, hid away behind the high mountains on the wide horizon ahead, when they saw it, when Yuchan’s agile eyes caught the glimpse of the high walls appearing and rising high on the horizon as the sun slowly slipped away from its place. _The capital._ They had finally reached the capital. A place that had Junhee and Byeongkwan. A place they could make home in until the war was over. A place they had gone through so much to reach. The capital stood high and proud in front of them, calling them closer, bringing relief to their heavy hearts with each step they took towards it.

“We’re going home, Sehyoon.” Yuchan whispered as he leaned down and pressed a gently kiss on Sehyoon’s forehead, their Heartrender still cold and unconscious in Donghun’s arms.

They were far from the actual place they called home, but home could be anywhere as long as five of them were together, as long as it united five of them, kept five of them together, because they were each other’s home, because they would make home out of each other no matter where they were, where they went. They carried their home within themselves and it only shaped itself if five of them were together.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

 

Byeongkwan was returning to his and Junhee’s tent long past after the dinner time, lost in thought and oblivious of the world around him. He and Junhee barely had had any time to see each other. He had been locked up in the lab for days, working on the chemicals, trying to find something, make something that could destroy the iron net without harming a Grisha inside it. It was harder than he had thought, but he was trying his best and he was advancing faster than he had ever done before. Junhee, on the other hand, was busy tending the wounded, caring after everyone in need, making sure the Healers were in order, knew what to do, where to go, who to help. They had been overworking themselves and Byeongkwan knew the reason behind it, understood the reason behind it. They were both trying to take their minds off of worrying over their missing lovers. Two of them spent most of the nights awake, sitting on their bed, wondering how they were, if they had found Sehyoon, if they were already on their way back, if the day they would come was getting closer.

“Alkemi.” Byeongkwan was pulled out of his thoughts by a young man wearing the same badge the Queen’s guard wore on his shoulder, gasping for air and holding onto Byeongkwan's arm for support.

“What happened?” Byeongkwan asked and felt his heart skip a beat. _Was Junhee alright? Did something happen to the Queen? To the Hunter?_

“Your..” The boy managed, breathing heavily. “Your lovers... They are... You lovers are here.” The boy said and Byeongkwan was running before he could say anything else to him. He was running to the only place he knew, he had grown familar with, to his and Junhee’s tent. _His lovers were here. His lovers were here. His lovers. His lovers had finally come. They had finally reached the capital._

“Junhee!” He screamed, almost tearing the entrance of their shared tent apart and felling still and silent right away, wide eyes fixed on the familiar frames of two people he had come to love more than his own self. They whirled towards him at the sound of his voice, relieved, exhausted smiles breaking out on their faces.

“Kwannie.” Yuchan whispered, shakily and it was enough to pull Byeongkwan out of his frozen state of shock. The Alkemi threw himself in his lovers’ arms and Donghun and Yuchan pulled him as close to them as it was physically possible, their hearts willing to rip their chests apart and unite with one another in the same manner their owners had.

“You’re here.” Byeongkwan whispered, trying to assure himself that they were here, trying to make himself believe that they were finally here and he wasn't dreaming. They were real and here. “You are back.” He kept repeating, breathing in their scent, their presence filling him, his entire being hungry of them, no longer devoid of them, no longer missing them.

“We are back.” Donghun told him and pulled away slowly, taking in the sight of Byeongkwan’s face hungrily. They had missed him as much as he had. Of course, they had. Of course, they would.

“Seh.. Sehyoon?” Byeongkwan asked seconds later and Donghun and Yuchan stepped aside to let him in further.

Sehyoon was lying on the bed, still and silent, Junhee hovering over him, his hands pressed against Sehyoon’s chest, body tense and shuddering, whispering something to himself. Byeongkwan stepped closer and lowered himself on the other side of his lover, reaching up and caressing the other’s face with the back of his hand. Sehyoon looked pale, skin ice cold, as if his body was completely devoid of life, but Byeongkwan noticed the slight, almost unnoticeable rise of his chest, offering him a silent comfort and reassurance that Sehyoon was alive.

A loud cry of frustration coming from Junhee beside him startled Byeongkwan out of his thoughts and the Alkemi’s eyes instantly snapped up at him, tense and alert.

“Wha.. What’s happening?” He asked, standing up, glancing between Junhee who was pulling on his hair in frustration and anger and Sehyoon who laid still, serene, peaceful, as if he had somehow felt that he had been returned to his lovers, as if he had somehow felt that they had been united once again.

“Calm down, love.” Donghun said, coming up to Junhee and pulling him in his arms. The elder tried to sound calm, but Byeongkwan heard slight hint of panic in his voice. Something was wrong. So seriously, frighteningly wrong.

“I.. I can’t do anything.” Junhee started, shaking his head, angry at himself, frustrated at himself, disappointed in himself. “I.. Donghun, I don’t think I can heal him. I don’t.. I don’t think this is something I can fix.”

“How is such a thing possible?” Byeongkwan asked, walking around the bed to join Donghun and Yuchan in their attempts of pulling Junhee together. “There’s not an injury you can’t heal.” He said and gripped Junhee’s shoulder in comfort. There was nothing Junhee couldn’t heal, there was nothing Junhee couldn’t put right back. “You have been overworking yourself, Junnie, take it ea..” He tried to reassure the Healer, but Junhee shook his head, cutting him off.

“There is something in his blood.” Junhee said, freeing himself from the tight hold of his lovers. “It resists against me. No matter how hard I push, it pushes back.”

“Could it be some kind of poison?” Byeongkwan asked, turning to look at Sehyoon’s calm, pale face.

“Ye.. Yes. It’s similar to a poison, but it’s not one. It’s something I have never seen before. Something so strong and alive. It keeps moving inside him as if it wants to escape his body, but refuses to leave it at the same time.” Junhee explained and lowered himself next to Sehyoon on the bed, taking the Heartrender’s hand in his and caressing it gently.

“He said something about Jurda Parem.” Yuchan remembered suddenly and Byeongkwan turned to look at the younger. His eyes were glazed from tears, but he was holding them back. Byeongkwan himself felt like crying, screaming, he felt like turning the world upside down, demanding the answer from the universe.

“Jurda Parem?” Byeongkwan and Junhee said at the same time and it finally clicked together. The Hunter had mentioned it in the palace when he had been talking about the experiments. _Jurda Parem. What was Jurda Parem and what had it done to thier lover?_

“I need to take him to a lab.” Byeongkwan was rushing to Sehyoon before his mind could register his actions and pulled the Heartrender up in his arms.

“Wha..” Donghun stepped forward, arms outstretched, but Byeongkwan was already making his way out of the tent.

“I.. I think I can help.” Byeongkwan told them as the three of his lovers caught up to him. “I wi.. I will do everything I can to help. I.. This is the only thing I am good for and what kind of Alkemi would I be if I can’t help my lover?” He said and he was dashing through the curious crowds of Grisha, Sehyoon pressed tightly against his chest.

He hoped it was something he could do. Something within his abilities, within his reach. He was an Alkemi and he had been useless to his lovers for so long, but he finally had a place where he could fully use his abilities and he was going to do exactly that. This was something he could do, he had to do, for Sehyoon, for his lovers, for himself. He was going to find a cure of whatever was trying to take over Sehyoon, whatever was resisting against Junhee, whatever was trying to take their lover away from them. He was going to find it. He would find it no matter what it took, no matter how difficult, how impossible it get. Byeongkwan would find the cure.

“You’re going to be fine, my love.” He whispered to Sehyoon as Junhee pushed the main doors of the laboratory open to let him in. “Everything is going to be fine.” He promised and he would make sure it would. He would make everything fine for five of them.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

 

“The Queen has asked to see you.” The Heartrender from the Queen’s Guard said as she walked inside the room Byeongkwan had brought Sehyoon in, her stern gaze fixed on Donghun sitting in the corner of the room, observing Byeongkwan and Junhee, who were trying to find out what was happening to Sehyoon and how they could help him, silently.

“Is it something that can’t wait?” Donghun asked as he rose from the chair, hand rested on Yuchan’s shoulder, squeezing it in comfort.

“She understands the difficult of the situation you are in, but it’s something we can’t delay any longer.” She told him, her eyes briefly flickering on another Heartrender lying on the operating table in the middle of the room, two other Grisha hovering over him.

“I’ll go.” Donghun said and every moving soul in the room felt still, turning to look at him. “I’ll be quick. Take care of Sehyoon.” Donghun told Junhee and Byeongkwan and turned his attention back to Yuchan after he had received two firm nods from them. “Don't leave their side, Channie and try to remain calm no matter what happens.” Yuchan gave him a quiet 'yes' and Donghun walked to the waiting Heartrender by the door. He took one last glance of his lovers before closing the door behind his back. They were finally back together and Sehyoon was in good hands, in his lovers’ hands, in the best care one could ever be in and he would be fine, all five of them would be fine, everything would be fine as long as they were together.

“What happened to the Heartrender?” The woman asked as they went out into the dark street, full moon hanging off the sky and bringing light to the world. It was that time of the day his shadows loved the most, creeping through the darkest of corners, the darkest of places the universe had to offer.

“They’re trying to find out.” Donghun told her, curt. He didn’t like talking to the Queen’s guard or to the Queen herself. He didn’t want to do anything with the capital or the palace or them. He wanted to go back to their small town, surrounded by the lakes and mountains, as soon as possible and continue living peacefully with his lovers separated from the rest of the world.

The woman didn’t say anything as they continued walking through the quiet streets before coming to a stop in front of the marble staircase that lead to the palace. Donghun remembered standing in front of the same stairs years ago, when he had been barely a teenager, Yuchan’s hand clutched into his. Their parents had died in the war two months prior, first Yuchan’s, then Donghun’s, and they had been left with no one, but one another and the same Heartrender that stood beside him right now had brought them to the palace, to decide the fate of two parentless boys, who possessed the powers no one had seen before, who were dangerous than anyone their kind had ever seen. Neither Donghun or Yuchan had fully understood their abilities before, not until their parents had died and Donghun had ended up destroying the entire village of theirs with just a single outburst of his powers, while Yuchan had sat the entire wheat fields in fire. The Queen had decided that they were to stay in the capital under the supervision of her guard back then, but they had run away after just two weeks of being held captive in the palace. Such life was not made for them. They were not meant for such life. And the Queen had been kind enough to give up on the idea of keeping them in the palace, giving them a choice to decide how they wanted to live, giving them their freedom back and after years of searching for the right place, for the right people Donghun and Yuchan had stumbled upon Sehyoon and Junhee and their lives had bloomed into something new, something beautiful, something warm, something kind, and then they had met Byeongkwan and their lives had bloomed into another flower and they had finally found their home. They had finally completed the home they had been meant to have and Donghun wouldn’t trade it for anything else. It had taken him, them, years to find each other, to say the words they needed to say, to finally find the home their hearts had always long for, they knew they had somewhere, but couldn’t find before.

“Shadow Summoner.” The Queen said when Donghun walked past the doors the Heartrender held open for him, rising up from her chair. Donghun looked around the room, catching familiar faces among the few and gave them a curt nod as a greeting. “Thank you for coming despite the circumstances.” She gestured him to the unoccupied chair around the table before lowering herself back to her own.

Donghun did as he was asked, his chilly, intense eyes roaming from face to face around the table, some tried to hold his gaze, some turned their eyes away. The Queen gave him a kind smile in return.

“Their base on the South Border had been destroyed. No one and nothing survived.” Donghun informed them, jumping straight into what he had to say and they needed to know. He didn’t have much time to spare. His lovers needed him and he needed them.

“Are you sure of it, Shadow Summoner?” The Queen asked and Donghun’s cold gaze found itself on her face.

“My lover had brought it to ruins.” He told her and the Queen nodded, gesturing him to continue, unaffected by the coldness of his tone and eyes. “Their scientists are dead. This is all I saw and my lover had managed to tell us.”

“It’s true then.” One of the women sitting on the right side of the Queen stated. “The news had travelled to the capital that someone had destroyed the base and had freed the captured Grisha. They had found shelter in one of the villages and the Queen’s Guard is leading them to the capital as we speak.”

“The enemy had started to retreated back to their borders in the past two days.” Someone else on Donghun’s left side said, but he couldn’t see their face properly, covered by the bodies in between them.

“We haven’t met anyone on the South Border or the areas surrounding it.” Donghun said, leaning on his elbows on the table. “We only came across few of them when we got closer to the capital. They must have been informed that the South Border is dangerous for them.”

“That’s right.” The Queen said, getting up and walking around her chair. She stood behind it and placed her hands on the headrest, gazing at the Grisha around the table one by one before her eyes came to rest on Donghun's face. “The main reason you were brought here is that we have decided to strike against the enemy once and for all, but now on their territory, on our terms. We have no understanding of what your Heartrender have done on the South Border, but the enemy is confused and now is the right time we take what’s our back.” She said, receiving nods of agreement from every occupant of the room, except one, Donghun’s.

“And where do I come in here?” Donghun asked, but he already knew the answer. He wished he didn’t, but it was hard not to, he heard it in her tone, read it in the gazes trained on him.

“We want you and the Sun Summoner to lead the army.” She told him and Donghun could only hear the Sun Summoner and the army. _Not Yuchan, everyone, but Yuchan_. This wasn’t something Yuchan could take. Yuchan wouldn’t be able to take seeing more death than he had already seen. He wouldn’t let them force their Sun Summoner into doing something he wasn’t made for, he wasn’t meant for, not anymore, not ever again. No matter what, who they saw in the younger male, he was none of it, he was not a terrifying child they had made out of him, he was nothing near it. He was a Sun Summoner, he held light inside his heart. He was made of life and light and happiness, and beauty and gold and everything kind in the world and Donghun wouldn’t let them ruin him more than they already had. He wouldn't let them turn him into something he wasn’t, make him do things he wasn’t meant to do. Yuchan had to stay in the capital. All four of his lovers had to stay in the capital. They had nothing to do in the war, on the battleground, among the bloodshed and death and cruelty.

“I will go, but the Sun Summoner stays here.” He said and pushed himself up from the chair. “I will go, but only in one condition, all four of my lovers will be kept safe in the capital while I’m gone.”

“But the boy’s abilities can be..” One of the man started in disapproval, but felt silent when Donghun turned to look at him.

“You accept my condition or I’m abandoning my duties as a Grisha and I’m taking them with me.” Donghun said, his cold eyes boring into the man’s, his dark aura looming over the table.

“I accept your condition, Shadow Summoner.” The Queen walked up to him and held her hand out. “Your lovers will be protected by all means, but you must bring victory to the Grisha.” She said and Donghun took her hand, his hold firm, carrying more meaning than any of his words could say.

He would bring victory to the Grisha. There was no war he couldn’t win if he was sure his lovers were safe.

Donghun could win every war knowing they were safe and together.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter. There's only one more update of this story left and it will be coming up as soon as possible.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments behind. They're greatly appreciated.  
> I apologize for the mistakes in advance.  
> Take care.

 

**Chapter Thirty**

 

“I’d beg you to take Chan with you, but I understand why you are doing this and I know it’s for the best of him, for the best of us, but how about me? Consider taking me along, Donghun.” Junhee told the older Grisha as they stood outside of the laboratory room where Sehyoon laid still unconscious, Byeongkwan doing everything within his abilities to develop an antidote, while Yuchan slept on a chair, the Heartrender’s hand in his, head rested on the elder’s chest, peaceful and waiting for him to wake up, waiting for Sehyoon to finally return to them. The younger refused to leave the Heartrender's side no matter how much the others tried to persuade him to rest in their tent and neither of them had a heart to move him while he slept, hesitant of upsetting the Sun Summoner. 

“I know you are more than capable of leading the war, love, but I want you to stay with them. I don’t want any of you separated ever again. It’s best if you look over Sehyoon with Byeongkwan and Chan in case something changes, something you can help him with. I don’t want to leave him in some other Healer’s hands. I want to know he’s with you while I’m out there, I need to be sure all four of you are together and safe from the cruelty of war while I’m out there. This is the only assurance I need to win this war, Jun. I only need to know you are together and you are safe. I’m going to bring an end to this war, for us, for the Grisha, so we can finally go back home.” Donghun tried to convince the younger, smiling at him as his spoke, his voice low and comforting and full of determination and confidence. He knew taking Junhee with him would be a huge reassurance for himself, knowing he was here, with him, knowing he could help if something went wrong, if the darkness inside him decided to take over the world, but knowing Junhee was with him, on the battle field, in a possible danger of being hurt would make it harder for him to control his abilities, his being would be split in two halves, half of it with Junhee and the other half in the battle, and it could be no good for anyone. He preferred knowing that Junhee was in the capital, with the other three, away from the harm, within arm’s reach of the rest of his lovers if they needed him, if Sehyoon needed his help.

“But you are going to be separated from us, Donghun. You are going to be all alone out there, while the four of us.. while we stay here and wait for you to return.” Junhee said, his voice wavering, sounding slightly upset with Donghun's decision, but still trying to control his tone, keep it low, careful to not disturb the quiet occupants of the room they were standing in front of.

“Not for long, love. I won’t be gone for long and your wait will be over before you feel my absence. I promise, Junnie.” Donghun slipped his hand in Junhee’s, intertwined their fingers together and pulled him closer. “I promise.” He took Junhee’s face in his other hand and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, his touch feather-like and lingering, as if he was trying to leave parts of him with Junhee while he was gone and Junhee kissed him the same, giving bits of him to Donghun to keep him company, give him comfort and strength while he was away in war.

“Be safe.” Junhee whispered against the elder’s lips causing a loving smile to stretch on Donghun’s face.

“You too, my love.” Donghun whispered back and kissed him one more time, exchanging silent promises with each other.

_I will come back._

_We will be waiting for you to return._

 

**Chapter Thirty-One**

 

Donghun bent down to kiss Sehyoon on the cheek, letting his lips ghost over the Heartrender’s cold, pale skin, leaving traces of his warmth along with it. He was leaving today and the only worry gnawing at his heart was the thought of how Sehyoon would be while he was away, how Sehyoon would be when he would return.

“There is something I want you to promise me.” He said and straightened up, coming face to face with the rest of his lovers who stood on the other side of the operating table their lover laid on, watching every moment of his silently, pain and worry swimming on the surface of their lovely eyes.

“What is it, Hun?” Yuchan asked, reaching over Sehyoon’s chest to take Donghun’s hand in his, playing with the elder’s fingers as he waited for him to answer, tell them his wish, what he wanted them to promise him.

“Promise me that he’ll be better when I come back.” He said and the quiet fell over them, moving around the room and gently wrapping everyone in its blanket. It wasn’t heavy, or tense, or hard to bear, it was simply a quiet, it was just there, surrounding them, while they looked at each other, while their gazes lingered on each other before landing on Sehyoon, lying on the table, still, silent, his chest moving so slightly, so faintly, as the only reassurance that life still had home inside him, as a sign of hope that life still could bloom inside him.

“I promise.” Byeongkwan said minutes, maybe hours later, still watching Sehyoon, still taking his calm, pale features in. “We promise, Donghun.” The Alkemi whispered once more and Donghun didn’t need more convincing, more assurance. He believed it. He knew Byeongkwan, his lovers, would keep it. They would keep this promise even if it meant breaking every other they had made before. This was the promise they wanted to keep, they needed to keep, they had to keep. Without this promise, their world would shatter, everything, life, love, happiness, would lose its meaning.

 _We promise. We promise_ , echoed Junhee and Yuchan and Donghun added in his own promise of coming back to them after theirs faded away in the quiet.

These were the only promises they had to keep, somehow, someway. They needed to keep these promises more than any other before.

Donghun had to return, while they had make sure Sehyoon would recover.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

 

Yuchan and Junhee went to see Donghun off, to bid him a good bye and bless him on his way to the foreign land and back, while Byeongkwan stayed back in the laboratory to look after Sehyoon. Three days had passed since Donghun and Yuchan had come to the capital with him and the Alkemi hadn’t stopped trying his best to develop an antidote to whatever was living inside Sehyoon, an antidote to whatever was trying to make home inside him, replace life with something else, something that wasn’t Sehyoon, something that wouldn’t be Sehyoon.

“Are you taking him back?” Yuchan asked when the Heartrender woman from the Queen’s Guard brought the Hunter to Donghun, forcing him down on his knees before disappearing among the crowd as fast as she had come.

“Isn’t it what you wanted?” Donghun asked as Yuchan bent down to pull the man up, his hold gentle on the Hunter's shoulder.

“It is. Thank you, Hun.” Yuchan gave him a small, grateful smile and turned to look at Junhee standing behind him, quiet. “Thank you for making sure he stayed alive.” He told the Healer, who said nothing in return, but let his fingers do the speaking for him as they brushed over Yuchan’s neck, gentle and caressing. Junhee seemed absent, slightly distant, but Yuchan didn’t question him. He didn't need to. He knew the reason, understood it perfectly. He felt it too. He was sure even Sehyoon did. _Worry._  Not stirred by the idea of someone hurting Donghun, but by the thought of Donghun harming himself while he was away from them, when he had no one to watch his back while he tried to protect his kind. But they had to believe in Donghun. They had to trust him, keep faith in him. He knew what he was doing. He made the decision knowing the risks better than any of them did. He made this decision for the sake of his lovers and all they could do, had to do in return was to trust him, believe in him. Everything would go as planned, as Donghun wanted it to go, as Donghun wanted everything to end. Yuchan couldn’t do much, but ask the light to guide his lover on his way, keep him company while they were separated physically from each other. It wouldn’t do much, but it would be better than having nothing.

“I’m going to return your sight.” Yuchan turned back to the Hunter, who stood still, shoulders tense and lips quivering slightly. “Don’t be afraid. My lover is going to lead you back home.” He reassured before laying his hand over the man’s eyes for the smallest of moment and withdrawing it. A gasp of surprise left the Hunter’s lips as he blinked at Yuchan, trying to adjust to the daylight, look of horror taking over his face as he looked around and saw and heard nothing, but rows of Grisha and their language.

“Don’t be afraid.” Yuchan told him once more. “No one is going to hurt you. You are being taken back to your country.” Yuchan tried to comfort the terrified man, voice full of kindness and comfort and the man gazed at him, mouth ajar and eyes blown wide.

“Wha.. What are you?” The Hunter managed to say seconds later, causing a smile to appear on Yuchan’s calm, kind face. “Grisha aren’t like you. Grisha are hostile and dangerous. They aren’t su..” The man started, but felt silent when Yuchan gently laid his palm over his shoulder.

“Nothing you have heard of Grisha is true. It’s something rulers of your country wanted you to believe.” Those people, every Hunter had been misguided by the rulers of their own land for years, for centuries. They were nothing, but puppets in the hands of people who desired power more than anything in life, who wanted nothing else in life, who knew nothing else in life, and Yuchan pitied them. He pitied every single one of them. A human being whose heart didn't know love, a human being who only felt ceaseless hunger for power. How sad, how lonely, how pitiful such a being would be, such beings were. “We are kind and peaceful and merciful. I’m gifting you life and a chance. Tell your kind the truth. Tell them what you saw and heard while you were with my lovers and I.” Yuchan told him and the man watched him for a few seconds, unblinking, mesmerized, taking in his colorful hair, kind eyes and warm, sunny smile. He was nothing like Grisha he knew, he was nothing like what he had been told Grisha were.

“Thank you, Grisha.” The Hunter, the man told him and his words no longer held any malice. The word Grisha sounded completely different compared to how it once had. “Thank you. Te.. Tell me your name.”

“I’m a Sun Summoner. This is all you need to know.” Yuchan gave him one last smile and watched the man whisper the name to himself repeatedly as if he was chanting a spell, _Sun Summoner, Sun Summoner, Sun Summoner._  

Yuchan turned back in search of Junhee and Donghun and found them talking with familiar faces, with someone they had last seen weeks ago. Yeongsu, Ha’un and Minjae were standing in front of his lovers, alive and well and smiling.

“Yuchan, son.” Yeongsu greeted when Yuchan stepped closer to them, opening his arms widely to embrace him.

“When did you arrive?” Yuchan asked after he had hugged all three of them, happy to see them unharmed.

“Five days ago.” Minjae told him as he kept glancing around, looking for someone particular among the endless rows of Grisha. “Is Sehyoon not here?” The young Heartrender asked, looking at the three of them expectantly.

“He.. Sehyoon.. He isn’t.” Junhee told him and Minjae's smile fell. “Something happened on our way here, but he will be fine. Byeongkwan is making sure he will be fine.” Junhee reassured the boy and himself, and them. _Byeongkwan would make sure Sehyoon was fine._

“We’re sending our well wishes to him.” Ha’un took Junhee’s hand in hers and gave him a kind, motherly smile. Junhee thanked her and let her gentle tone comfort him.

“We heard that Donghun is leading us in the war.” Yeongsu said, his concerned gaze rested upon Donghun, who gave him a nod in return, his naturally dark aura looming in power.

“I’m… leading us to the victory.” He told the man, eyes lit in fire of determination and Yeongsu laughed, clapping him on the back, nodding his head along, satisfied with the younger's answer.

“I’ve no doubt, son, I’ve no doubt.” The older Grisha said, genuine to his words. He didn’t doubt Donghun’s ability to lead them to victory and neither did Junhee and Yuchan.

Donghun was going to lead the army and bring victory to the Grisha.

Donghun was going to end this war and come back to them and they would return to home, all five of them, Sehyoon healthy and his usual composed self by their side.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

 

Sehyoon struggled to open his eyes, something unbearably heavy pressing down on them, full of force and desire to keep him bounded inside the darkness, all alone with the monster living inside him, grinning and laughing in mockery at Sehyoon’s every attempt to fight back, to set himself free.

It took him minutes of continuous struggling to open his eyes, how own body full of resistance against him. He couldn’t move any part of his body no matter how hard he tried to force himself, only his eyes were willing to obey their original owner. He could only see and hear the world around him drowning in quiet. He found himself inside an unfamiliar room, walls and ceiling completely covered in metal, keeping any kind of natural light outside and Sehyoon had never wished to see the daylight so much before in his life. He wanted to look at the sky and remember how it felt to have sunshine dance on his exposed skin, warm and comforting and so similar to one of his lovers.

It took him some time to feel someone else’s presence with him inside the dimly lit room. He caught a glimpse of colorful curls on his chest and felt his heart tremble inside his chest at the sight of his lover. He wanted to reach up and thread his fingers through Yuchan’s hair, feel him, find some comfort and humanity in the closeness of him, but he couldn’t, something inside him kept him still, rendered him paralyzed and silent. He tried to say something, force his lips apart, call Yuchan’s name, but all in vain, nothing happened, nothing changed, Yuchan remained sleeping peacefully on his chest. For the smallest of desperate moment he thought about altering the Sun Summoner's heartbeat, but he was afraid of hurting the younger. He didn’t know, couldn’t understand what the creature inside him craved, what the creature inside him could do and he couldn’t, wouldn’t put Yuchan at risk for his own sake, he would wait until he woke up, until someone would come, Junhee, Byeongkwan or Donghun, someone of his own, anyone he called his.

Sehyoon laid and tried to listen to his own heartbeat, tried to hear the quiet whispers of what used to be his own melody, sound of his beating heart, sound of life moving inside him. It was now taken over by the foreign creature inside him. But if he concentrated hard enough, he could still hear it, weak and faint, fading slowly like an echo, _I am, I am, I am._ What was he? Who was he? _Who are you? What are you?_

_I am, I am, I am... Alive._

And maybe he was. Maybe there still was something of him, something of Sehyoon left. He was alive, but he didn't know how long. Now the fully awake creature inside him was trying to take control, trying to lock his memories away in some dark, unreachable corners of his mind, trying to erase everything that was him, that was Sehyoon, that had remained of Sehyoon.

The faint melody in the depth of his aching heart continued like a sweet, soothing lullaby and the fog of darkness slowly started to take over him, _I am, I am, I am alive_.

“Sehyoon?” He heard it, Yuchan's voice, small and confused and distant, so far away from him, so out of his reach, growing fainter and fainter. He felt the younger shake him, grasp his robes tightly with his fingers, call his name again and again, but Sehyoon couldn't grasp back, he kept slipping inside the darkness and away, so far away from the light, from his dear Sun Summoner. “Sehyoon! Sehyoon! Stay with me, please, Sehyoon!” He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay with him, with them, more than anything else in the world and he wished he could. He wished he could stay, but the creature inside him wanted him, hated the idea of setting him free, letting him go and no matter how many times Sehyoon tried to leap forward, hold onto the light, onto the younger, it always managed to drag him back inside the darkness, where he could see and hear nothing, where it was only two of them against one another left.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

 

“No, no, no, please, Sehyoon. No, stay with me please. Sehyoon, please.” Yuchan cried as he tried to shake the Heartrender awake, elder’s shoulders clutched in his pale fingers tightly, shaking him again and again, trying to bring him back, trying to pull him away from the darkness inside him, from whatever was keeping him locked away from them, but no matter how hard he tried, how much he begged, how much he cried, Sehyoon remained still and silent, his face serene, as if he was just sleeping, as if he would wake up any second, but he didn't and Yuchan felt it. He felt the darkness and fear inside the Heartrender, he felt and saw it in Sehyoon’s eyes. He was asking for help, he was calling for help, he needed his lovers to help him.

“Byeongkwan!” Yuchan screamed, his voice breaking between the sobs. “Junhee! Byeongkwan! Please!” He kept screaming until Junhee and Byeongkwan came, running, faces pale and full of horror, standing frozen on the doorway as they took in the state their youngest lover was in - golden tears streaming down on his face, both him and Sehyoon fully covered in dust of gold, their skin gold, their hair gold, their robes gold, everything, everything was gold, Yuchan had tried to shelter Sehyoon in his light, but it hadn't worked. For the first time, for the first time when he needed it the most, it didn't work.

“Cha..” Junhee tried, but his voice wouldn't come out, it kept dying inside his throat. The Healer and the Alkemi were on Yuchan’s side in a second, embracing the younger in their arms.

“What happened? What happened, love?” Junhee managed some time later, running his hand up and down Yuchan’s spine, desperate to soothe the younger, desperate to give him some comfort, while Byeongkwan tried to examine Sehyoon to find out what had happened.

“Seh.. Sehyoon.” Yuchan said, grasping onto Junhee’s robes tightly. “He wo.. Sehyoon woke up, but he.. I couldn’t do anything and he.. He is afraid and we need to help him. We have to help him. He’s afraid and all alone and we.. We need to help him, Junhee, we need to bring him back.” Yuchan continued crying and Junhee continued trying to comfort him, told him how they all were doing their best, how they were trying as much as they could, promised him that Sehyoon would be fine, promised him that they would have their Sehyoon back and Yuchan wanted to believe it, every word that left Junhee’s mouth, he wanted to believe them, but he couldn’t. Not anymore. He wouldn’t until he saw it with his own eyes.

“I need you to check Parem levels inside his blood, Jun. I can't assume anything without knowing it.” Byeongkwan told the Healer and replaced Junhee’s place by Yuchan’s side when the older Grisha pulled away to examine Sehyoon.

“What did you see, Channie? Did you feel the darkness inside him?” Byeongkwan asked, crouching down and taking Yuchan’s face in his hands. It took The Sun Summoner few seconds to gave him a nod in return, his vision blurred slightly from the unshed golden tears gathered in his eyes. He felt it. He felt so much of it inside Sehyoon it terrified him, it scared him, but for Sehyoon, only for Sehyoon and his well being. The darkness could do no harm to Yuchan, but it could hurt Sehyoon, it could do whatever it wanted to Sehyoon, while the Sun Summoner could do nothing, but watch it take his lover away from him, from them.

“I.. I thought of something and... And...” Byeongkwan trailed off for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts, glancing up at Sehyoon’s motionless body on the operating table before turning back to Yuchan. “Give me some of your light, Sun Summoner.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.   
> Here we go. The last chapter. I really hope it won't leave you disappointed, but I understand if it does.  
> This story has an alternative ending that is currently in scraps and I'm not sure if I will actually get to work on it, but if I do sometime in the future I'll make sure to share it with you.  
> Thank you so much for taking your time to read this story. I enjoyed writing it and I hope you had an enjoyable time while reading. Also, thank you for putting up with all the mistakes (I apologize for the ones in this chapter) and for leaving kudos and comments behind. I appreciate each of them so much. It means a lot to know what people think of the characters/storyline you have built.  
> Well, that's it I guess. If you will ever find yourself missing any of the characters (major/minor doesn't matter) feel free to leave a comment and I'll be happy to discuss them/their future or past lives with you. Take care everyone.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

 

Donghun crossed the border of two nations with confident, powerful steps, his dark aura looming and overpowering, rows of Grisha behind him waiting an order to be given.

Something moved in the distance and revealed a straight line of armed Hunters marching towards them. Donghun heard Grisha behind him move, caught a glimpse of arms being held up and stretched out in defence by the corner of his eye. He came to a halt and held his hand up, a silent sign for Grisha to stop and wait. He counted to three inside his head, _'it will give you time to concentrate on yourself'_ Junhee had said, before moving his arm lazily through the air, unbothered by the rows of enemy in front of him.

It took seconds for his shadows to find their targets, fast and steady and unstoppable, unarming the enemy before any of them could understand what had happened, before anyone could understand what was happening. Donghun watched as silence fell upon them, both on the Grisha behind him and the enemy ahead, self-satisfied smirk stretched on his face, full of power and confidence.

He had promised the Queen and the Grisha to win this war.

He had promised his lovers that he would come back.

And he would. He would win the war and he would return to his lovers. There was nothing that could stop him, no one who could stop him, who would dare to stop him. He was a Shadow Summoner and he could eat the whole world raw if he wished to.

“Come here, Hunter.” Donghun turned his head slightly and beckoned the man closer, his shadows still snaked around the Hunter's arms and waist, keeping him restrained and harmless. Donghun took the man’s face in his hand when he stepped forward, chilly eyes full of desire to rip him to shreds. “Remember the Sun Summoner?” Donghun asked and the man gave him a nod. Of course, he would. The Sun Summoner wasn’t someone easily forgettable. “I hate seeing him disappointed.” Donghun said, letting go of the man’s jaw. It was a simple sentence, but the meaning behind him wasn’t. It was a threat, a wrath waiting to come, horror, fear, ruination. It was everything one should fear. Everything one must be afraid of.

“Go!” Donghun commanded and pushed the man towards his own land, to his own people. “I’m giving you an hour.” He gave a final warning and the shadows restraining him disappeared. The man nodded and run to the safety of his own kind, while Donghun and the other Grisha waited for the war to be over, a battle to be finished before it could start.

 

*******

 

Donghun watched the sun move over the horizon before he pushed himself up from the dry ground. The time was up and the Grisha aligned themselves in organized rows behind the Shadow Summoner, ready to act at the very first sign of threat coming from the distance.

Donghun counted to ten aloud, his voice booming over the rows of waiting Grisha before marching towards the enemy’s base, dark robes swaying along the wind, expression calm and form confident, four beams of light Yuchan had given him before leaving the capital dancing above him in a circular manner as their new owner moved forward.

A white flag slowly rose in the distance as they neared the base, a sign of peace offering and surrender and Donghun stopped in his tracks, signaled the Grisha behind him to do the same. He heard someone among his people laugh in relief and he couldn't hold a small smile of his own back. It was finally over.

“Tell the Queen the war is over.” Donghun said and watched as small group of people moved towards them, caught a sight of the Hunter Yuchan had saved leading the way. He waited for them to get closer and for the Queen and her advisors to step forward from the back. Everything had gone as Donghun had said. As he had told them would happen. He didn’t have a clue of what Sehyoon had done on the South Border, or what kind of magic Yuchan had used on the Hunter he had set free, but everything had suddenly come together, a brief display of his own powers had managed to play its role, to piece all the small happenings together and the war was over. The war was ending and Donghun couldn’t wait to return to his lovers.

He felt the four beams of light that had accompanied him through this lonesome journey without his lovers caress his face and he reached up to gather them in his palm, shimmering, lovely, warm, full of love and light and his lovers. Yuchan had collected little reminders of each of them and had put inside with utmost gentleness and care for Donghun, for him to not feel lonely, for him to feel safe, for him to have strength and courage, for him to remember that he wasn’t alone in this battle and there were his lovers waiting for him to return.

“Shadow Summoner.” A firm voice behind him said and Donghun turned to face the Queen. She was smiling, reaching her hand out to him. Donghun stepped closer and took it in his. Their deal was over. Donghun had fulfilled his duty as a Grisha and the Queen had his lovers kept safe in the capital. “I will not ask you to stay much longer. You can return to the capital after we make sure this war is officially over.”

Donghun nodded and walked past her, blending among the rows of other Grisha. His job here was over. It was no longer Donghun and his people. It was the Queen and her people. How it was rightfully meant to be.

The world slowly returned to its previous balance, but Donghun felt something missing, something for the balance to be complete, final, perfect, but he wouldn't have to wait much longer. He was returning to his lovers.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

 

When Donghun returned with some other Grisha the news of war being over had already reached the capital and the crowds of Grisha who had stayed behind gathered to greet them, thank them, congratulate them, welcome them back. Donghun looked for his lovers among the endless rows of unfamiliar faces, craned his neck, eyes darting around as he tried to find his way through the people patting him on the back. They were not here. None of his lovers were here.

It took him few minutes to find his way out of the crowd that had gathered and instantly broke into a run, his legs finding way on their own, carrying him to where he had last seen his four lovers together. He stopped in front of the familiar door, breath heavy, heart trembling inside his chest. He could hear quiet murmurs reaching through and felt relief and warmness sunk inside him, take over his whole being, only one thought in his mind – his lovers. He was back. The war was over and he was back to his lovers.

Donghun grasped the doorknob in his trembling hand, turned it carefully and pushed the door open, waiting with held breath for it to reveal his lovers. He stepped inside the room and he was being pulled in a tight embrace by different pairs of familiar arms, heard whispers of his own name, sighs of relief, murmurs of _thank gods_ and _I missed yous_ and he whispered them back, their names, how thankful he was they were safe and unharmed, how he had missed them, how they had also kept their promise of waiting for him to return.

They stood in each other’s embrace for a few minutes, breathing each other in, feeling each other's wild hearts beat madly against their chests, _alive, safe, safe and alive_. And then Donghun’s eyes fell upon Sehyoon still lying on the same bed, unmoving, silent, as he had left, as he remembered leaving him and felt his heart shatter. He freed himself from the arms of his lovers and moved closer to where Sehyoon laid, face calm, breath faint. He bent down and pressed his lips against the other’s cold forehead, breathing in what was left of him, gathering Sehyoon’s crimson robes in a tight fist. _Have you given up, love? Have you given up on yourself? On us?_

He felt a single tear on his cheek and straightened up, watched it leave his face and fell against Sehyoon’s pale skin, carrying the words Donghun couldn’t say to him and the Heartrender wouldn't hear him say, being a silent messenger of two lovers, both of them waiting, waiting for each other, waiting in two different places, forced apart, separated by the cruel hands of life.

Donghun released Sehyoon’s robes from his fists and reached up to wipe it away when he noticed it, little, almost unnoticeable, slight differences in the other. Sehyoon's skin had regained its color, not much, but it was no longer ashen. He laid his palm on Sehyoon’s chest and felt his heartbeat, stronger than he remembered, steadier than he had left it beating. He felt pair of arms wrap around his shoulders and looked up to see Junhee smiling gently at him. Byeongkwan and Yuchan lowered themselves in chairs in front of them and beside Sehyoon, gazing up at Donghun with small, reassuring smiles of their own.

“It’s working.” Donghun heard Byeongkwan say and felt his legs gave in under him. Junhee caught him, steadied him, leaned him against his chest and rested his cheek on the elder's shoulder, giving him comfort and warmth of his own body. “Each day Junhee checks it there is less amount of Parem in his blood. It’s working, slowly, but it is. We've promised you, Donghun. We have promised Sehyoon and ourselves and we're keeping this promise no matter what it takes. We're not going to let him leave us, not yet, not now.” Byeongkwan told him, taking Sehyoon’s hand in his and laying it against his cheek.

“We’re going to get him back.” Yuchan said and his smile widened, bright, full of hope and light and happiness and assurance and everything kind and beautiful and Donghun was convinced. He believed it. He finally believed that the war was over and he was back with his lovers and Sehyoon was healing, slowly, but healing. “He’s already coming back to us.” Yuchan whispered and the three of them watched in silence as the Sun Summoner painted Sehyoon’s face with his finger, light lingering a second longer on the Heartrender’s skin, leaving faint trails of golden dust behind, full of hope and life.

“It’s time to go home, my loves.” Donghun told them hours after Yuchan had covered Sehyoon’s entire face in gold and light, bringing peaceful, warm smiles on the faces of his lovers, fully content by the undisturbed, quiet, lovely sight.

It was finally time for them to go home.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

 

When Sehyoon came to consciousness the first thing he saw was clear blue sky and the first thing he heard was someone’s faint heartbeat near his. He looked down on his chest and saw white curls of familiar hair scattered around in drastic contrast with his crimson red robes, reassuring and as lovely as ever. He reached up and run his fingers through Junhee’s long, slightly wavy locks, sensation of familiarity sending shivers through his whole body, making him feel alive, telling him he was alive. _Alive._   _Alive._ He was alive.

“Junnie.” He whispered the younger’s name, but Junhee remained still, sleeping peacefully on Sehyoon's chest, breathing softly against his robes, heartbeat faint, but even, the quiet melody it hummed belonged to no one, but Junhee, could belong to no one, but Junhee.

Sehyoon turned his eyes back up to the sky and listened to distant sound of familiar laughter reaching to where he and Junhee laid, growing closer and louder by each second that flew by. Sehyoon turned his head to the side, fingers still tangled in Junhee’s hair and watched as Donghun chased Byeongkwan and Yuchan around, feet bare against the green grass of familiar backyard, also familiar house standing proudly among the tall, silent trees behind them, stirring only one thought inside Sehyoon’s head – home. He was alive and he was at home.

“Sehyoon.” A voice whispered and Sehyoon felt his heart tremble at the familiarity of his name leaving Junhee’s lips. He turned to looked at the Healer. Junhee was gazing up at him, trying to blink sleep and confusion away, fingers grasping the sides of Sehyoon’s robes tightly as if he was afraid that if he were to let go Sehyoon might disappear.

“I’m here, love.” Sehyoon told him, smiling at the younger, caressing his face. “I’m here.” He was here. He was here to stay. He had nowhere else to go. His heart only knew one place.

“You are here.” Junhee whispered dreamily and buried his face in the crook of Sehyoon’s neck, caging the elder male under the weight of his body, breathing him in, filling empty parts inside himself with Sehyoon, with his presence, a presence he had missed, he had lacked for almost a month.

“I’m here.” Sehyoon said again and wrapped his arms around the younger’s body, pressing him close to himself, until there was no space left between them, until their hearts heard and felt each other through their clothed chests, until they were shaped back to how they were meant to be – one.

“Sehyoon!” Sehyoon heard someone call his name and he turned his head to where it had come from. Yuchan was dashing towards him and Junhee, face lit by a wide, bright grin, scattering dust of gold everywhere. “ _Sehyoon.”_  Came another familiar call of his name and Donghun was running after the Sun Summoner. “ _Sehyoon.”_  Byeongkwan shouted and Sehyoon was sure the whole world could hear the younger.

Yuchan was the first to throw himself over Junhee and Sehyoon, followed after laughing Donghun and Byeongkwan crashing against them one by one and everything suddenly returned to its place, piece by piece fell into a perfect balance with each other as they turned themselves into a jumbled mess of five humans united in one by love.

Few minutes later five of them were lying side by side, limbs tangled and hearts swelled in happiness and warmth, clear blue sky above them, shimmering lake by their feet and green grass under their backs, feeling nothing, but each other, hearing nothing, but each other, seeing no one, but each other, wanting, needing, loving no one else, but each other. Everything had finally fell back to its place. How it should have been. How it had always been meant to be - Five hearts united in one by love.

The war was over, they were together and all was well.

They needed nothing else in life for happiness.

They only needed each other.

Yuchan laughed and it rained gold over them, sun still high up on the sky.

They had returned home to each other.

 


	14. The Sunshine of Your Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> It has been so long. I hope everyone is doing well.  
> First of all, let me say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR CHANSHINE!!!!!  
> I won't bore you with my congratulatory messages and just get to the point of this update. I had been planning working on the extras I lined out back when I was getting started on this story and what would be a better time to update than our chanshine's birthday? I was meant to update Junhee's and Sehyoon's part first as they were the first to meet (and I'm sure some bits of this chapter would make more sense too), but I didn't have enough time to piece everything together, so here goes Sehyoon's and Yuchan's part first. I have been wondering, if you guys would actually be interested in reading stories of their past and if you do, I will gladly share bits of what I have written so far with you.  
> I hope you will enjoy reading this little chapter of Sehyoon's and Yuchan's (and Donghun's too, I guess) very first encounter with each other. I borrowed the title from the song of the same name by Mike Berry. Do listen to it while reading if you would like to. It's a lovely song.  
> I didn't really get to fix mistakes, so I apologize for them.  
> Thank you so much for reading. Any thoughts and ideas on the story and the characters is welcome and appreciated.  
> Happy Chanshine's Birthday!  
> Take care everyone.

 

_The Sunshine of Your Smile_

 

It was mid-afternoon, sun tilted high up on the sky and Sehyoon was out tending to the flowers in the backyard of his and Junhee’s small, but cozy house. The day felt unusually bright as if the sun had completely neglected the other parts of the world and had directed all its light to the small town hidden away in the mountains, its sunshine warm and playful against Sehyoon’s exposed skin.

The Heartrender pushed himself up from where he was crouched on the ground, fingers grasping at the handle of a bucket to collect some water from the lake and water the newly planted flowers that very earnestly had turned their necks up, basking under the bright, warm glow of the sun that hung high on the sky, its attention fully turned on Sehyoon and his surroundings, as if it had only one desire - to warm the Heartrender's usually cold fingers as its light fell and lingered on his bare arms, sleeves of his crimson robes rolled up high.

Sehyoon was about to pull the small gate of their backyard open when his eyes caught an unfamiliar silhouette, someone he had never caught a glimpse of before sitting on the ground by the lake, head lowered close to the water surface. The Heartrender felt for an unfamiliar heartbeat and heard a heart beating inside him that wasn’t his own, all frantic and loud, _ba-dam, ba-dam, ba-dam_ , as if its owner was very excited about something.

The Heartrender stilled for a moment, hesitated on his place, iron bars of the time eaten gate clutched tightly in between his fingers. He tried to reason with himself why it would be better to turn back inside the house and wait for the stranger to be gone, but his curiosity won over him in the end, the excited melody of the stranger’s heart pulling him towards the lake, calling him closer to its owner, dazed by the way it beat beside his own – his steady and quiet, the stranger’s cheery and loud, in complete contrast with each other. It was rare to see someone new in the town, someone with an unfamiliar heartbeat and the Heartrender wanted to know who the stranger was and what had manage to excite them so dearly.

He found himself drifting closer, light on his feet, cautious to not disturb the stranger. A soft, soothing melody reached him as he grew closer and Sehyoon found himself hiding behind a tree, water bucket completely forgotten by his side as he gazed at the stranger, the sound of their unfamiliar, excitedly fluttering heart ringing inside his head, rubbing bits of its owner’s excitement on the Heartrender, pulling him deeper and deeper in his daze.

The stranger shifted on where he sat, turning to the side, giving Sehyoon a better sight of his youthful face that matched with the melody of his heart, of what he was doing, of what he had found so exciting and the Heartrender found his breath catch, throwing a hand over his lips hurriedly, unable to contain a sound of surprise or shock or captivation inside him.

The stranger was gently running his fingers on the water surface, a finger at a time, matching the pace to the small tune he was humming, leaving trails of gold along with his moving hand, gentle ripples of peaceful, unmoving lake shimmering under the sunlight as the boy covered it in gold.

The Heartrender found himself mesmerized. He had never seen something so captivating before, something that could compete with the beauty of Junhee’s smile. And as he watched the stranger crouched on the ground by the lake, covering everything in dust of gold, Sehyoon thought he might have accidently found the reason why the sun stood especially high, shone especially bright today, the reason it had directed all its light to the lake by the back of their house, to the little town it barely reached during this time of the year. It was still early in spring and the sun usually struggled to find its way inside the hidden town around this time. But today was special and Sehyoon might have found the reason behind it.

“I know you are here.” The stranger said suddenly, turning his head toward the tree the Heartrender had found shelter behind of and breaking into a wide grin, dust of gold surrounding him as he rose on his feet and turned to his direction. Sehyoon gasped, stepping back hurriedly and knocking the water bucket over. His actions of surprise stirred a hearty laugh out of the stranger, easy and free, his eyes turning into suns as he smiled.

“I'm Yuchan.” The boy said, raising his gold covered hand in a greeting as he directed his smile, smile so, so genuinely sweet, to Sehyoon and the Heartrender felt unexpected waves of warmth rush through him, his cold fingers growing warm instantly, the force of it almost strong enough to knock him off of his feet.

The boy took a step closer before falling still. Sehyoon’s eyes flickered from the stranger’s smile to his unfamiliarly colored Grisha clothing - gold and white, then to his gold covered hand, and golden dust covered cheeks, before falling back on his smile. _His smile._ The Heartrender felt his heart still - amazed by the beauty of him, of his smile and adjust its pace to the unfamiliar melody, something new, something strange, something full of bursting energy of life and of excitement, something so beautiful it left Sehyoon breathless as he listened to it closer, as he let it spill through his body and fill his chest with its unfamiliar harmony and warmth.

The Heartrender found himself unable to speak as the boy waited expectantly for him to introduce himself, say something in return. The stranger’s smile didn't falter and the sunlight suddenly fell on him and everything else in comparison went colorless, as if Sehyoon could only see gold and white, _gold and white_ , gold and white that was Yuchan, that was the young boy standing before him, smiling, smiling, _smiling warmly._

The Heartrender watched as the sun weaved its light in the stranger’s hair, turned his skin gold under its gentle caressing. Yuchan seemed magical with sunlight pouring across his skin and wrapping him under its warm, golden glow. The boy seemed magical and not in a way Sehyoon was, or Junhee was, or anyone Sehyoon had ever come across in life before were. The stranger in front of him seemed like the sun had put all its secrets and beauty and light and warmth and all its magic, all its’ magic of life and of happiness inside this boy, had turned him into a dream, so unreal, so unearthly, so ethereal.

“I'm a Sun Summoner.” The boy added and his smile grew a tad bit brighter, his raised hand falling still on his side, leaving traces of gold lingering in the air.

Sehyoon let his eyes follow every bit of them until they fully vanished in the air and his gaze unconsciously drifted back to the boy's face. Smiling. _Still smiling. Always smiling._ A Sun Summoner he had said. Sehyoon didn't need to clarify, the gold, the light, the sun so high, so proud on the sky and that smile.

That smile.

Smile so beautiful.

Smile so sweet.

Smile so genuine.

A smile that said _I love life._

The Sun Summoner’s smile was beautiful.

It was so beautiful that the Heartrender was sure if he were lost in the middle of a desert, with no aid, with no shelter and the boy’s smile was the sun he wouldn't fear it, he wouldn’t want it to disappear, slip away from the horizon and let the night take over it, he would want it to shine brighter, accompany him everywhere he went, everywhere life would stir him.

“I’m Sehyoon.” The Heartrender found himself whispering, his voice small, almost inaudible, but he didn’t have to doubt if the boy had heard him or not as the Sun Summoner’s eyes suddenly lit up, rosy lips still stretched in a wide, welcoming smile.

“Sehyoon.” Yuchan repeated, nodding to himself as if he was testing how the Heartrender’s name sounded on his own tongue, his eyes turning distant for the smallest of moment before jerking back to life and focusing back on Sehyoon, shining, shining, _shining._ Yuchan held every source of light in the world within his eyes. “Do you want to play with fish with me?” The boy asked, his bright smile shaping itself into a wide, mischievous grin as he stepped back and closer to the lake, his gaze still trained on Sehyoon beside the tree.

The Heartrender opened his mouth to say yes, still caught in his daze, unable to fully process what was happening, but before he could say anything an unfamiliar voice rang through the other side of the lake, clothed in all black, their heartbeat strong and unyielding inside their chest, in complete contrast of the excited, loud and cheerful melody Yuchan’s heart played. It was strong and firm and even, almost overpowering. Sehyoon felt his own heart yield for a minute, quiver under the presence of the other’s thunderous melody.

“Chan!” The voice loomed and hung in the air above him and Yuchan, a warning, not for the Sun Summoner, but for Sehyoon, a silent demand to step back, to obey.

Sehyoon felt his own heart roar back, unwilling to yield to the stranger, powerful and always hungry inside his chest. He wondered if the man could feel how suddenly the air grew thick inside him, a silent warning from the Heartrender, a sign that said I don’t obey. _I no longer obey._

“I’m coming, Hun.” The Sun Summoner called at the man, giving Sehyoon a shy wave and a one last smile before spinning on his heels and running to where the other man waited, leaving trails of gold lingering in the air behind.

Sehyoon watched the sunlight flicker, as if Yuchan had taken all its attention with him, before it flickered back on Sehyoon, bright on his face and dust of gold suddenly rained over his head, covering his black hair, his pale skin, his crimson robes in it. He heard a sound of a cheerful laughter from the distance and turned his head to the direction the Sun Summoner had run off. Yuchan was looking back at him, face split into a bright smile, waving his gold-covered hand at him as a sign of goodbye.

The Heartrender smiled, heart filled in warmth as he raised his hand to wave back at the Sun Summoner.

He had an inexplicable feeling that he would meet him again.

He would see the Sun Summoner again.

They would cross each other's paths.

_Let's play with fish together next time._

 


End file.
